bleep bloop

Happy birthday, Kyle! 🥳🥳

[I go to bed tired and I wake up still tired from yesterday. Or maybe I’m pre-tired for today. Hard to tell. It’s not a dramatic tiredness, more like a soft but pervasive exhaustion that sits behind my eyes and hugs my face and wraps around my body like an invisible cloak. I very rarely feel fully rested or like I have a full tank of gas. There’s always just so much stuff to do. I want so much out of life and it requires an annoying amount of steps to get there. I complete one task and two more replace it. Life is a constant cycle of meals to cook and dishes to wash. A 16-hour wake time to do it all feels cruel. Sometimes I get interested in learning a skill that will require multiple years of my life to reach significant proficiency and I just deep sigh and shake my head, wondering how many things do I need to complete beforehand in order to replace that space in my schedule to give it the time required to be any good.

Yes, I am tired. I’ve been tired. But it’s a familiar and comfortable tiredness that is the result of so many years of me pushing myself day in and day out to keep going after what I want. I don’t wear my exhaustion as a badge of honor because it’s not, but I do feel proud that my tiredness isn’t simply due to a bad diet and crappy sleep schedule. I’m happy that I’m tired from a day of studying and mastering my field, moving my body, and giving my family what they need.

Unfortunately, I keep finding new and creative ways to wear myself out more with each endeavor I choose to add on to my already packed life year after year. It’s a give and take. I give myself the joy of partaking in something I’m passionate about and it takes a year off my lifespan because I am stressed trying to juggle it all. How fun!

Genuinely though, I’ve really had to learn how to be productive even when I feel exhausted. Mainly because my desires haven’t slowed down. They have ramped up to higher levels and I feel more emboldened than ever to make it all a reality. It’s either get it done or live with the dissatisfaction of not getting up off my butt to make it happen.

Being productive when I’m exhausted has less to do with willpower and more to do with the big picture. I don’t ask myself if I feel like doing something, I ask, “Do I want another year to go by still wishing that I made use of my free time to work on this or do I want a year to go by and I have made a ton of progress?” The answer is always obvious. Sometimes it’s a matter of reminding myself that I am someone who keeps the promises I set and that I put this on my to-do list for a reason. I’m not superhuman, but because I’ve practiced being big-picture minded for so long, it feels more uncomfortable to quit than to keep going.

I’m also proud that I don’t romanticize burnout. There’s a difference between disciplined follow-through and punishing myself, which never really works for me anyway. When I’m truly depleted, I adjust the intensity but I NEVER abandon the habit. A shorter workout. A single focused study block. The goal is always to keep moving forward even if it’s just a little bit. And when I can’t do that, then the bare minimum is to maintain what I’ve gained so far. If I can’t do my full stretch routine then I can at least do a few key stretches to prevent regression. If I can’t learn something new then I can at least review my notes so I don’t forget what I’ve learned up until now.

I felt inspired to draw Techno-😋

@uunoia I offer thee the piglin

Original art made by UshiiMushiio (aka Me!) 🪷

Alternate vers + Timelapse under the cut…

Finished my color theory assignment :)

The goods are collected and, if need be, stored somewhere for use by the customer-owners

If fees need to be collected (for maintenance/repair/replacement, or fuel, or to pay off loans that were taken out to buy the good) they are managed by the customer-owners democratically. Any excess profit is either used to expand the offered services or donated to other local orgs (e.g. Food Not Bombs, community gardens, etc)

there's this guy, Saiki, that you don't know very well, but seems to be completely average in EVERY way. like, concerning average. you genuinely know nothing that he likes or dislikes or is particularly good or bad at. the only thing that sticks out about him is his weird hair clips and his tinted glasses. oh, and all the people that surround him

the weird, big, loud guy that no one really likes is his best friend. he basically follows Saiki around. one time Saiki made a completely to scale statue of him for a class fair.

the kid with a hero complex that is constantly going on about some shadow organisation and fantasy world is also his friend. the one that rips all of his clothes and always wears bright red bandages over his arms. he also follows Saiki around like they've been best friends since childhood. sometimes he talks about the both of them being soldiers in some army.

one day a psychic medium who can see ghosts and guardian spirits transfers to your school. the next day you see him hanging off of Saiki. what is it about this guy that attracts all these people? he doesn't even seem to talk to them. he's apparently the vice president of the medium's occult club.

the perfect dream girl of your class that everyone loves is weirdly obsessed with him. constantly trying to pair up with him in class. they've been seen on multiple dates together and members of the kokomins seem hate him. you're pretty sure they tried to kidnap him one time. he doesn't even seem to like the girl.

the over-enthusiastic class president that everyone respects is also his friend. you're pretty sure Saiki doesn't play any sports, but apparently he joined him on a tennis camp over the holidays. you heard that he hit a tennis ball so hard he sunk a boat.

an ex-delinquent joins the school, and immediately tried to be friends with Saiki. within a week he has joined the large group that follows Saiki around. one of your friends apparently saw the two of them taking motorcycle lessons.

the poor girl in class, the one with a dozen jobs who's constantly searching for food? yeah, she's friends with him too. one time you walk past a cafe she works at and see him inside, talking to the owner. what does he have to do with the cafe? and why was she wearing a maid dress? there's rumours in the school that the both of them took shady clinical trials over the holidays.

also, the girl who has a new crush every week gets weirdly into him for a while. you see her try a bunch of classic cliches to try to win him over. none of it works, but she still hangs around him for some reason.

a super rich guy shows up to your school and demands to date the beloved perfect girl. no idea why, but Saiki seems to some part to play in the weird love triangle. later on, you see Saiki and his friends visit the rich guys house.

a fortune telling gyaru joins your school, insisting that Saiki is her soulmate. the two are polar opposites, yet seem attached at the hip, along with that spiritual medium for some reason.

another new transfer (why does your school get so many transfers?) who never seems to shut up insists on following Saiki around. apparently they're childhood friends? they don't seem very friendly.

that famous actor, the one who is in everything on tv? you see him yelling at Saiki one day. something about a sister? you don't have any idea how they even crossed paths in the first place

on a random school day you overhear some of Saiki's friends talking about their trip to Britain together. did they really travel that far for just a weekend?

one day you see Saiki walking around with a young man with a weird headband. he looks familiar somehow. you could've sworn you've seen him on some science program or something.

you've seen Saiki walking around plenty of times. he walks everywhere it seems, and gets to places at a pace that is logically impossible. doesn't he have a motorcycle license?

his parents seemed perfectly ordinary when you met them, if a little too lovey-dovey. how is their son so different?

the dude never seems to change his clothes. obviously he does, seeing how they never get dirty or damaged. you guess he just wears the same thing on repeat.

you see him out and about with a little boy. probably babysitting. the kid keeps calling him by the name of some superhero.

the school brings in a magician one day. he greets Saiki like an old friend and calls him 'master'. you had no idea they knew each other, or that Saiki liked magic.

you've only known of this guy for a year, yet it seems like so much longer. it feels like too much has happened for the school year to have not ended yet. when did all those people transfer again?

Meanwhile Saiki takes this as a challenge to perform hyper normalcy all day, but the weirdos of his friend group ruin it one way or another. And every time he avoids having to deal with one of them, something weirder happens. And he keeps battling with himself over what a normal person would do or not. Would a normal person ignore his friend's request to hang out? Would a normal person ignore Kokomi's gift of handmade cookies?! Okay, a normal person would absolutely swerve upon seeing Toritsuka.

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