crumbycarpet

HOW TO ACCEPT THE LOVE YOU ASKED FOR

why do i feel like im beggiing for love whenever i want affection from my friends, my boyfriend? and why does this cheapen the affection received? i do not want it if it doesnt come naturally if you didnt think of it yourself and only because i said so youre better off not doing it at all. i do not want the affection which i had to beg for it

I want to tell you this story without having to confess anything. I don't want to try justify anything I did. I don't want this to be a günah çıkarma. I just want to be able to tell it, without softening the edges to make it appear okay. I don't want to you say I'm only human. In this bojack-episode-of-a-story, there are no victims, really. I just want to tell this story of two people bonded over something they can never speak about. Bonded over a secret, maybe. Bonded isn't the right word thought, they were already pretty close, at least to do what they did together. They never speak of it again. But ofcourse they spoke, in friend gatherings, with lingering looks. A million fireworks is the feeling, maybe. Looking at someone in a room full of people and knowing you trust them, you have to trust them, like bond by crime, but worse. but worse.

is using sex as a self harm bdp coded thing??? am i finally finding out whats wrong with me???? help???

on this lovely wednesday where i throw up bc of my period pain, i am once again reminded that there is no god

i need to teach myself how to read again i used to read a lot i used to read at university level when i was 12 and now i cant even pick up a book i need to read i need to feel good about myself i need to feel smart and accomplished and

is there any reference sites for objects like cups and houses and pencils and slides and knifes etc etc i don't wanna site what says 'can of beans' i wanna actually see reference pic of a saucepan pls help aaa aa a a aaaaaa

i hate it SO MUCH when people comment on pinterest post like its so me or some trying-too-hard to be funny shit if you want online validation go to twitter or something i CANNOT stand people turning pinterest to a generic social media and not a place for inspiration and moodboards and and serenity and love where you dont actually interact with people and just the vibes. i don't want to see you shitting on hemingway for saying nothing hurts if you don't let it by commenting 'me when I kill my minecraft dog' PEACE AND LOVE ON PINTEREST PLEASE I DO NOT WANT YOUR COMMENT HOW DARE YOU DISTURB A PIECE OF PEACE FOR SOME SHITS AND GIGGLES GO TO TWITTER

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24317908

i hope september makes me fall in love with living again

Başım şişmiş gibi hissediyorum, her yerim her yerim uyuşuk, asla uyuyamıyorum ve ayağa kalktığımda midem bulanıyo. uzun bir süre hiçbir şey iyiye gitmeyecek

my GOD having a crush is EMBARRASSING when did I start having FEELINGS

im not moving on, im running away

i keep forgetting i have this blog and vent to real people instead, cringe

i meant disgusted 

i feel disgustinged