Wizard Tower

if i were a pompous self-assured and kind of stupid art student at some california university i would make a 9/11 tribute consisting of a handful of photographs depicting two erect, vertical dicks side-by-side (probably cut because all my friends would be cut (more of an unintended circumstance but i would spin it to seem meaningful)) and successive photos would depict one of the penises during ejaculation proceeding to one and then both flaccid. and i would have some bit about the semen representing the lives lost during the event. someone would inevitably ask if i was making a statement on masturbation or contraception and i, in my kind of stupidity, wouldn't have considered that angle. i would get really indignant and try to fabricate something clever, maybe like "obviously not because I produced this sexually explicit work" and it would haunt me for the duration of my college career. Years later after I had graduated and found employment as a creative director at Coca-Cola or Google, and after one of the aforementioned friends had died in a drunk driving accident and the other had been imprisoned on charges of possession with intent to sell, I would realize that i could have claimed it as a commentary on American society possessing a revulsion to pornography and homosexuality equivalent to our feelings on anti-American terrorism. Still not very good, but that's why I'm working for Coca-Cola or Google.

FUCK THAT'S THE WRONG IMAGE

got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.

you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this

This post is from 2013. It has less than 100 notes. Together we can revive this work of art that tragically ahead of its time. We’re ready for it now

pulling yourself up by your strap-on or whatever they say

I first heard about this guy from the "League of regrettable superheroes" Books, (The supervillain one, obviously) and He stuck with me because its such an interesting concept. not only is HE generic, but he has the power to make anything he TOUCHES generic too. I never actually got to experience his whole deal as an actual character, since this was just an info book that tells you about the character, so seeing these panels it really cool.

i love the phrase "which could mean nothing" i think its my favorite thing to come out of the internet ever i love saying it. it could mean nothing but we all know better. we know the truth.

It is HILARIOUS that they're censoring fuck. Let's not offend any delicate sensibilities by dropping a complete f-bomb in the middle of explaining the rules of the monster fucking 💦💦💦 game.

Oh, to be granted the power to speak to animals for just like 38 seconds, so that I could tell this pebble-brained feathery fuckass that nobody is impressed that he started singing earlier than anybody else. There's no bird pussy available at 2 am. The dames can sense your desperation. Stop screaming for at least three more hours.

Happy pride month to him