Crow Bear

F is For Foundation

While I’m floundering about being fatigued, i’m also working part time for the Immune Deficiencies Foundation Australia. If anyone knows what its like to be fatigued, its our members. Our members have Primary Immune Deficiencies. Their immune systems are buggered from birth and they face life fighting constant infections. My sister has one. I have CFS/ME – I am finding the more people I meet with…

Tramadol  Nurefen codeine  Lorazepam  3x wines  Melatonin  Lexapro 

I am not ok. I feel like I have exhausted all my options of who to speak to. I’m sad and I’m tired. I’m writing to pass the time of my sobbing so I can call my therapist and try to make an earlier appointment. God. That would just be it wouldn’t it. calling the receptionist sobbing, asking for an earlier appointment because you are that desperate to talk to someone in the hopes they can provide…

F is For…Forward in the Face of Failure

F is for Fire

I am overwhelmed. Its that time of year when everything seems to be under the crunch but all you want to do is relax and enjoy the festive season. No. For the last three months I’ve had reflux. I’ve been sculling Gaviscon out of the bottle trying to extinguish the fire that is inside my chest. Its not just the burning pain thats bringing me down, its the constant feeling of mucus stuck in my…

F is for Funnies

  More often than not, its better to laugh than cry. This one goes out to all my chronic pain/illness peeps.

F is For Face.

I am laying here, with my tongue hanging out and a bandage on my chin. Safe to say, this is not a glamorous moment. I have had an infection on my chin for a year. It goes away with antibiotics but then comes back as soon as I’m off them. It’s an ugly, weeping thing. I’m currently on my 4th course of antibiotics for it. I have ulcers on the edge of my tongue. It is so sore the only relief I can…

I am currently trying to create a timetable/weekly routine for everything in my life right now. Uni, work, resting, everything.  I am tired just making the damn timetable.  Looking at it I’m fretting it’s too much. The last two days I’ve been pretty much bed bound and it makes it impossible to envisage myself doing all these things. I know though, I’m bed bound at the moment because I pushed…

Just realised how funny it is that every time I change the sheets and then make the bed.. I then have to get into the bed to rest.  Maybe funny isn’t the word.. ironic? The idea of having to rest in a bed because of the energy used in making the bed.. it’s like.. backwards bed – you’re not doing what you’re designed to do haha!  Ah well…

Today is day one of making it up to my body re: yesterday’s post. I actually followed through. Huzzah!  The morning started with brewing myself a coffee and taking my work outside for the morning because it is absolutely gorgeous out.  I made the effort of constructing a healthy brunch of wholemeal bread, lettuce, tomato, you know the stuff. Even had sprouts on there woah.  My break in the middle…

F is For FAT

  Over the last 2 years I’ve put on about 20 kilos. It crept in slowly from lack of exercise, medications, not eating the right foods, and just generally not caring about my body for one reason or another. I cry to my Girlpack (a group of four of us who share everything, all the time, no judgement, all love) about hating my body and how ugly I feel – woe is me, a girl winging about her weight, no…

F is For Flailing about

I am still here. You’ll have to excuse me, Dear Blog, my brain capacity I imagine is now no more than an intelligent sack of potatoes. Trauma, has again set me back. When I say trauma, people sometimes assume that only means things like witnessing a murder or being involved in a car crash. Which indeed it does, but the word is has more delicate meanings for people with chronic illness. It’s not…

F is for Fatigue.

I do not have Glandular Fever again. It is just taking an incredibly long time to recover from tonsillitis and the flu. This week started horribly, unfortunately. I was driving out to work and everything seemed ok, still feeling pretty crappy but hey thats life with CFS. I got to work, put my things down and opened the computer. Checking emails is first on the agenda, I think it just becomes…