crowbait

I hate when people say stuff like "oh if seatbelt laws or asbestos bans happened today, they would be controversial!"

Like. They were. There were a lot of people - influenced by multi-billion dollar campaigns - who were against it and thought it was sissy libturd shit.

the act of trying to fit my fat, squishy body into something that would not go past my knees was embarrassing. but it’s doubled when i realized i was wearing the biggest size in that section, what was supposed to be my section. the look my mother gave me when i told her that nothing fit is seared into my memory.

so i cried. i cried because this meant i had to shop at the womens section. for some completely asinine reason, in my teens, i decided that if i ever shopped in the fat lady’s section, it meant that i had failed. at what? i still don’t really know. passing by the abundance of ugly, drab, boring clothes that the plus size section provided felt like i was in a funhouse, like this can’t be my reality.

but the pants fit there. i took no pleasure from this, and i cried again.

so that’s why i made this post. because the experiences that fat and chubby kids go through in dressing rooms is unique and so rarely talked about. i’m in a much better place now and have definitely embraced my fat thighs and hanging double belly, but i know a lot of us who grew up to be fat adults still have some pain we have to address and work through.

i took no pleasure from this,

and i cried again.

Chronically elevated cortisol is in fact a problem! Cushing's Disease is a real thing! High cortisol can also be caused by chronic stress; the same kind of stress that'll give you PTSD, like living in an abusive household or existing in a war zone or experiencing a single acute trauma like being assaulted, or being present during a mass shooting! It's not something that you can or should self-diagnose though; it can be detected by a simple blood test. You cannot fix it with yoga and sleep.

Chronic inflammation is in fact a problem! It has a lot of different causes and is often comorbid with chronic pain! People with EDS, Rheumatoid or Psoriatic Arthritis, people with any autoimmune or connective tissue disorder at all, etc often do live with chronic inflammation! If you've ever been put on a steroid for an acute injury and then found that everything in your entire body feels better, you probably have chronic inflammation of some kind! It's not something that you can or should self-diagnose though; it can be detected by a simple blood test. You cannot fix it with dietary tumeric or omega-3 fatty acids.

Hormonal 'imbalance' (your hormone levels being other than what is ideal for your body) is a real thing! There's a whole asston of different causes relating to aging (puberty, menopause) or pregnancy, or intersex conditions, or transition! It's not something that you can or should self-diagnose though; it can be detected by a simple blood test. YOU NEED TO SEE AN ENDOCRINOLOGIST ABOUT IT. THE ANSWER WILL ALWAYS BE EXOGENOUS HORMONES OF SOME KIND, NOT SOY MILK AND LEAFY GREENS.