be. do. have.

Find someone who loves you well. Someone who never belittles you. Even in the heat of an argument. Someone who is gentle with you, but does not treat you like you are fragile. Someone who knows what you are capable of, and celebrates those pieces of you. Not someone who is intimidated by your strength. Someone who doesn’t make you feel guilty for being flawed. It is not love’s job to punish you. And remember the person you love is just as broken as you are when they fall short. No one is perfect – do not hold them to this standard. Find someone who is patient, forgiving, and apologetic. Someone who practices forgiveness freely and often. Love someone who is humble, kind, and empathetic. Not only with you, but with a beggar on the street, or a stranger in the supermarket. Common courtesy is important. Compassion is important. Kindness is important.

1. Time does not heal. Time makes you forget and does a good job of making memories blurry. Take healing into your own hands - don’t wait for someone else to do it. 2. Do not waste your I love you’s. The more you flaunt the word around to people you’ve just met and early lovers, the less it will mean when love really hits. 3. Create a list of things you want to do in life. I’m not talking about going to see the northern lights or visiting Hawaii. The little things that can be easy to accomplish such as: trying caviar, painting your room, and trying that new sushi place. Checking off the little things in life is the best self-esteem boost. 4. Always take the high road. If you’re working with rude people or someone has done wrong to you, do not stoop to their level. What’s goes around will come back around. Trust me. 5. Offer to help. People appreciate someone that genuinely wants to give a helping hand whether it’s setting the table or carrying heavy boxes. 6. Stop being hard on yourself. Who cares if you did not get an A on that test? Does it matter if you embarrassed yourself at lunch the other day? Move on. We’re only human. 7. Read more. 8. Be open minded. People who can not see past their own opinions do not go anywhere in life. 9. Accept your flaws. 10. Invest in yourself. Buy yourself that new art set, or new shoes, or order some good take out. The little things in life are often over looked, but they add up in the best ways.

Forgive yourself every night, Recommit every morning.

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Ask yourself, what would it mean if we all got collectively un-numb? In touch with possibility daily? That’s what I’m asking. Put nothing between you and your disappointment and your grief, and your rage, and what they want us to believe is dangerous: hope. Desire. Need. Meet your need naked.

You can drink too much and forget the night before but I’ve learned you can never drink enough to forget the people you’ve loved and lost.

This is a picture of my friend Becky. She used to be a happy, popular girl until one night she snorted marijuana at a party. She died instantly. Please, don’t do marijuana. It’s the most dangerous drug out there. Please don’t wind up like Becky.