even death has a heart

official library post

I need non-librarians to understand that this is not a celebratory counter. It's a plea for help.

The early 2000s distilled down to its very essence.

he's jacking off their invisible cyber dicks

Need one more to unlock the door

#i attempt one of these and knock myself unconscious for eight hours

wow I love to sit crosslegged without moving for several hours straight!

okay time to straighten my legs man I'm so excited

I f eel like a suit of armour that was attacked by a welder

be sure to leave out milk and cookies for brutus tonight

You can leave as many cookies as you want but he’ll only et two

this remains the funniest addition anyone’s made to one of my posts

evoking bertholt brecht’s “the way people cast a play!” quote as a spell against prescriptive, stereotypical, fatalistic typecasting

they should make a sleep that feels like you’ve slept

Lvl 6: My Marine Biology professor told me it was technically “Octopods” to bring it in line with “Cephalopod,” but that if the class is falling asleep you can call them “Octopussies”

loudspeaker interference ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS THERE IS A FUCKING BEAST LOOSE IN THE HARDWARE AISLE

im just here to buy some paint you don't have to be a dick about it

[ID: three shades of yellow and orange, followed by the same colours in a gradient. /end ID]

bruh HOW