cringefail-masquerade

Long story short, due to a bunch of Third Semester crap I don't feel like explaining just yet, The Phantom Thieves become the worst possible versions of themselves, losing their Personas and forming Palaces. As a result, a group called The New Phantom Thieves (Made up of Mishima, Hifumi, Shiho, Oda, and probably some other members though I don't know who) have to steal their Treasures and save them from themselves. Fun! The AU is called When Thieves Fall Out, and it's still a WIP, but it shows a lot of promise!

I had a vivid imagination, it was one of the things I was most proud of. But every time I tried to put myself in the scene, it couldn't work unless I was looking at it from my perspective. Because I just couldn't imagine what I would look like.

I plopped in what I looked like from photos, from my reflection, how others described me, and it simply...didn't fit in. I'd imagine what I'd look like in a similar style to the characters I'd imagine, and it still wouldn't fit. Like my brain was trying to skip past that mental image.

Sometimes it wouldn't. Sometimes my brain would fill in the gap by imagining a much more feminine version of me. I would always feel incredibly guilty about this, of course. That isn't how I looked, it was silly to think that. So naturally I course corrected. I made myself look more masculine in my head. It disgusted me.

I now have a better image of what I look like in my head. It's not a shapeless, formless entity my mind refuses to acknowledge. It has a solid look, one I can truly understand.

Pride Month is coming to an end. Summer is coming to an end, in fact. And I'm...disappointed.

This was supposed to be the summer I started actually presenting as female. Instead, it was the summer that doing so became near-impossible as a mountain of complications and issues suddenly presented themselves.

I have no way of verifying this since I didn't use Tumblr until very recently, but like. I was of the firm belief, whenever I saw Asgore being made fun of in Deltarune for being way less cool than in Undertale, that it was all a setup. That he'd have some big epic moment in Deltarune.