Crimson Spade

Bruce and Cass fucking love it. Yes, this is his daughter. Yes, this is her Dad. They would merge into one person if possible; they're halfway there

When Cass comes to galas with him, they always wear matching outfits; it's adorable. Whether it's Cass matching Bruce with a dress or wearing her own suit, they're basically the same person. Or Bruce wearing a dress, I don't wanna leave him out

That's just as Bruce Wayne and Cassandra Wayne, when they're Batman and Black Bat, they take twinning to a whole new level. It's scary

He definitely tucked for this.

OG comic this was based off of 👇

And as your resident goth girlie, your cryptid correspondent, your black lipstick-wearing, graveyard-picnicking, leather jacket-sporting creature of the night™, I am here to make an IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:

TODAY IS FOR THE BATS 🖤🦇🌑💅

That’s right. Those lil night goblins with the squeaky voices and dramatic capes are getting their DAY IN THE SUN — okay, not the sun, that would be rude — their moment in the moonlight, their TIME TO SHINE (or echolocate), and I am here to SCREAM ABOUT IT FROM THE BELL TOWER.

Let’s talk facts:

🦇 Bats? ICONS. 🦇 They pollinate flowers, eat mosquitoes, AND they have the audacity to hang upside down 24/7 like they're on some kind of goth Pilates regimen. 🦇 Their little noses? ✨Chaos incarnate✨ 🦇 Their wings are HANDS. They are literally flying jazz hands. 🦇 Every bat is either:  - A misunderstood Victorian poet  - A vampire trying their best  - A sleep-deprived student who only comes out at 2AM for snacks

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? SAME. 😌🖤

First of all. Let’s talk about how BATS ARE THE GOTH FAIRIES OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM. Like, what is a butterfly if not a glittery extrovert bat? Bats are the emo kids of flight, the introverted aerial acrobats, the Taylor Lautner of the twilight creatures (no, I will not elaborate).

DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW DELICIOUSLY DRAMATIC IT IS TO HANG UPSIDE DOWN FOR EIGHT HOURS A DAY. That’s not just biology. That’s a lifestyle choice. That’s ✨aesthetic suffering✨. That’s “I wrote a poem on the ceiling and I’m too moody to get down.”

Also! Why do bats scream?? They just yell. Constantly. And we don’t even hear half of it. They’re just out there going “EEEEEEEEEEEEE” into the dark like some winged anxiety goblin trying to find their friends at the club. Honestly. A mood.

Imagine being a tiny mammal and you’re like “hey I have these weird finger-wings and I’m blind in the traditional sense but I can SCREAM until I FIND MY DESTINY.” God. Me too, bestie.

ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN BABY BATS HAVE YOU SEEN BABY BATS?????!!!! Those little faces??? little furry beans wrapped in blankies like goth burritos??? those babies look like they’re about to inherit a haunted estate from a distant uncle and develop mysterious powers by chapter five. I want to knit them cloaks. I want to give them names like Bartholomew and Ravyn and Casket Jr. Let me adopt an entire bat orphanage. I’ll sing them lullabies and let them hang from my curtains. I am ready.

And the wings??? ICONIC. Humans? Walking around with boring little arms. Bats?? “Oh sorry babe my ARMS ARE ALSO CAPES. I am a ✨drama sky puppy✨”

And let’s not forget: Vampire bats drink BLOOD. But not in a “I’m scary” way — no, they’re just like “hi I’m a tiny squish and I would like to politely nibble your ankle for survival, thank you very much.”

Also can we TALK about how bat colonies have DRAMA. There’s like 10,000 of them in a cave and they’re just like “Susan stole my fruit last night and I will NEVER forgive her” while screaming ultrasonic threats into the void. Relatable.

Have I ever seen a bat and immediately wanted to adopt it, give it a tiny leather harness, and name it "Malachi the Brooding"? Yes. Yes, I have. More than once.

Go out and tell a bat you love them. Light a candle. Wear some eyeliner. Worship the moon. Eat some fruit. Befriend the darkness.

oh whatever

I was going to do a description or whatever, but instead I am just going to post the alt text that I used for this image.

BLOOOOOOGH ALT TEXT IT'S TIME FOR ALT TEXT

it's a comic of lex luthor and the joker being super best friends

PANEL ONE: the joker is tying lex's bow tie. they are in white tie because white tie is so cool. tuxedos are dumb. white tie forever, baby. anyway you know the joker is good at tying bow ties because of the whole purple suit thing. he probably practiced a lot! you don't just poof a suit onto yourself, and you know harley's ass can't tie a tie.

LEX: thank you, by the way. i have the worst time with these stupid things.

JOKER: of course! if i'm going to kidnap you, you have to look good. i have standards.

PANEL TWO: super wide shot of lex and the joker walking and talking. it's an aaron sorkin walk and talk! do the kids even know what that is? does anyone? i never watched west wing.

LEX: i still think this is a bad idea.

JOKER: would you relax? batman is not here. superman is not here. this is just you and me and a bunch of rich assholes that we are going to scam out of a LOT of money.

LEX: but i can just give you the money.

JOKER: lex, please. life is about the journey, not the destination!

PANEL THREE: SPONGEBOB TITLE CARD because you can put any damn thing you want in comics. i don't know why comics are so bad, actually.

SPONGEBOB TITLE CARD: THREE HOURS LATER

PANEL FOUR: lex and the joker sitting on a chair. lex is in the chair, the joker is sitting on the armrest. lex is drinking. they are beat to shit and laughing.

LEX: …i have GOT to stop listening to you.

JOKER: you really do.

Insp by:

My little guyyyy