things nobody warns you about when you start reading the goblin emperor:
if you spend enough time thinking about it thou wilt start talking to thyself in the familiar first person
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@thornfield13713
things nobody warns you about when you start reading the goblin emperor:
if you spend enough time thinking about it thou wilt start talking to thyself in the familiar first person

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i love Millie Alcock’s Kara. she’s messy, she’s an alcoholic, she’s rude, she doesn’t have a love interest, she beats the shit out of pedophiles and dismantles their sex trafficking ring in the process. she carries the grief of an entire planet because she doesn’t think Clark, whose heart is so optimistic and so desperate to see goodness in people, can handle it. she gets her hands dirty so that a child doesn’t have to live with the guilt of murder. she’s not ditzy, or just some sexy hero girl for misogynists to objectify and drool over. she’s strong, she’s smart, she’s confident, and she’s good
you have won a lifetime supply of this
How do you feel?
good!
I CAN SELL THIS AND GET RICH
im drowning in my supply help
Eh it's okay
BAD. VERY BAD
results/other
you would receive the supply once a month
the brand/type will vary so you could
you can sell the things you get/give them away but they will keep coming until you die
Daemon II decides to go for it and does kiss Dunk leading to a few more awkward conversations and some rippling of changes at Whitewalls. For one Daemon decides being King isn't happening since Duncan has just informed of his loyalty to another man, its time for him to become an undercover traveling bard (this whole rebellion was a bad plan guys call it off) with Ser Duncan and his completely ordinary squire, to woo Ser Duncan who he is sure is his key to kingship and beyond. There is no way this could go wrong!
Okay. The hardest barrier to entry here is getting Daemon to realise that this rebellion was a bad plan. He is, bless him, not particularly tethered to reality. He's a sweet kid, don't get me wrong, but, uh- there's a reason why Gormon Peake and Black Tom Heddle appear to be the real masterminds here. I think our best shot is Daemon kissing Dunk before he can blurt out the whole Blackfyre plan, then getting dragged off by Gormon Peake, having a dream of everything going horribly wrong, not being able to call the plan off, and deciding to run for it after that. The main thing Daemon II consults when making decisions is his dragon dreams, after all, which is how we got into this mess in the first place.
Dunk, meanwhile, has very thoroughly got the wrong end of the stick about both Gormon Peake's reaction to finding Daemon kissing Dunk, and 'John the Fiddler' feeling a sudden need to flee without Peake finding out, so- okay, they are going to have to get out of Whitewalls in a hurry, because Dunk has finally figured everything out! The reason why Daemon said he was a poor singer and hedge knight when he's dressed up all fancy was that he's Peake's mistress! Peake clearly doesn't treat him very well, and so the only chivalrous thing to do is help him escape this terrible situation he's in! As it happens, he and Egg are headed North already, so they might as well hurry up and go North while they can! He's still not that interested in Daemon himself, but it's just the decent thing to do.
Bloodraven misses this, as he's too busy paying attention the actual movers and shakers of the conspiracy, and so suddenly everyone is playing 'where the fuck is Daemon Blackfyre'...except for Dunk and Egg, who are heading north in his company entirely unknowingly.
Not sure what goes on from there, beyond 'road trip shenanigans', but I want to throw poor Daemon a bone and say he gets to meet and fall in love with some nice Northern boy somewhere and just disappear. He'll probably live a bit longer that way than he ended up doing in canon.

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soo the tourney at storms end, dunk doesn't meet baelor but he does meet a bby (well more bby) Lyonel Baratheon who decides he wants to be best friends (maybe more) with this strapping squire and convinces his dad to let him hedge knight with Ser Arlan and Dunk for a season or two.
Things are quite different at Ashford this time.
Okay. Hm.
Once again, looking at show ages here. Dunk is sixteen at Storm's End, Lyonel- okay. I want to say he's- Hm. Baelor, I can kind of figure he's still his book age (that 'still young' line in a world like Westeros kind of rules out his being much older than his early forties) and just looks a bit older because he has one of the most stressful jobs in the world, but Lyonel I'd put at somewhere in his mid-30s. Like- I do not think those two are that far apart in age in the show. So, let's put Lyonel at maybe 33 or so. Storm's End was nine years ago, so he's in his mid-twenties. So- odds are, he's already a knight. Hell, it is entirely possible that's his kid this tourney was celebrating the birth of. Not going with that here, let's say it's his brother's first son, but you see the issue.
Hm- I kind of want to say this shifts things a bit, because- even in Westeros, 24 and 16 is a big difference. Like- okay, in the books you get Renly and Loras, but Renly dies at 21, when Loras is 17. So, while when he meets Dunk as a thirtysomething knight with twenty-five-year-old Dunk, his first thought is that he wants to climb Dunk like the elm on his sigil, which- you know what, fair. Faced with lanky, awkward, hasn't-quite-filled-out-to-match-his-height-yet sixteen-year-old squire Dunk at twenty-four, the first reaction is something a lot more like 'huh, new little brother who isn't getting all the attention from my dad for having just had a baby and who isn't the reason I'm now getting pressured to marry and have children even though I am pretty fucking gay'.
I suspect he runs off with them for a season or so before his father finds out what he's doing and drags them back, but it does mean that Dunk's first stop at Ashford when he hears he needs someone to vouch for him is asking Lyonel to do so, which does change a lot.
reading a historical romance novel and reflecting on the way these stories often present woke nobility for the contemporary reader. a big thing is servants. you can’t not have servants in those times but many modern readers think “but I would never have servants. it would be so weird to have servants” and in order to make the protagonists of the story more relatable they are actually friends with the servants. but flip your perspective and think of it from the side of the servants. wouldn’t it be so awful if your boss was always trying to be friends with you. a really common thing you’ll see is the woke baronet having tea in the kitchen with the servants bc he’s not like other baronets. but what if your boss wanted to hang out and talk during your lunch break every day. not so charming when you think about it that way
#okay but now what is the optimal way to be a good boss in this situation i genuinely wanna know#its easy to guess what makes a bad boss or a mid boss. but what is a good boss#specifically in such a highly structured hierarchal situation (via @rainbowroach)
HELLO you are asking questions that literature and poetry THROUGHOUT the middle ages has asked, and it is from this questioning that we derive things like the Codes of Chivalry (which is not "how to treat a noble lady really nice" but is actually "how to be an ethical person when you're rich and you own a horse" and includes such things as "don't run people over with your horse")
In fact I daresay you already know instinctively just from cultural osmosis what a good boss -- a good liege lord -- is and does based on the tropes that have survived to the current day and the kinds of things that get Hugely Praised in things like legends of King Arthur.
A good boss (liege lord) is:
Merciful. He is not having his peasants killed for things like poaching rabbits during a famine. In fact, he is working to mitigate famine. During times of individual hardship, he might negotiate with a peasant for a payment plan on their annual rent.
Patient. He is not impulsive, he does not lose his temper.
Prudent. He makes choices that are thoughtful, considered, conservative (in the sense of not needlessly risky--he's not investing his entire fortune in having everyone plant an unproven crop). He is making sure local infrastructure like roads and public buildings are maintained and kept in good nick.
Gentle. He doesn't haul off and slap a servant or a tenant for breaking a dish or making a mistake. He doesn't abuse animals, his wife or children, or his employees. He doesn't rape the servants.
Generous (both in money and in spirit). He is not extorting the peasants for an amount of rent that is beyond their means, he is not raising taxes every year to cover his own lavish lifestyle. He is paying his servants a living wage (or, if wages are low, he's giving them room/board/clothing to make up the difference). If someone in a tenant's family dies, the lord is sending a gift of condolence, or helping to pay for the funeral, or possibly even ATTENDING the funeral and speaking a few kind words about the deceased, ESPECIALLY if they were a really upstanding and important member of the community. If one of his tenants is gravely sick, the lord is sending a basket of food or paying for a doctor. He is giving charitably (generally this will be, like, a bequest to the church so that they can run a hospital or an orphanage or a school for the local village children).
Pious. This classically means "goes to church, submits with humility to God" but to me this quality is subtextually standing in for "maintaining an ongoing sense of Perspective that HE'S not god, that there are higher powers he is Accountable to, that he too can be Judged, etc, so that he doesn't end up going on a weird fucked up power trip"
Humble. One of the most admiring things you hear about a lord doing in literature and epic poetry is, "He ate off of wooden plates while his followers ate off of gold and silver." Humility isn't about being meek, it's just about not thinking so much of yourself that you turn your nose up and sneer at what "lesser" people do. In other words: Don't be a fucking diva. If your carriage gets stuck in the mud, climb out and help everybody else push, you're not gonna die from getting mud on your shoes.
Condescending. This word has changed wildly in meaning/tone over the last couple centuries -- it's now a rude thing to do (because we've done away with legal social hierarchies, so someone acting like they're lowering themselves to your level IS insulting), but in older times, a high-ranking person "condescending" to a servant was worthy of praise and admiration: it means they were setting aside rank and privilege to speak to them with the easygoing, friendly respect and compassion they'd give a peer. This is things like... Treats those beneath him with courtesy and respect (ie: listens soberly and attentively when one of his servants or tenants comes to complain about a problem). Having a sense of humor and kindness about it when the lord and a servant both come around a corner at the same time and run into each other and the servant gets knocked to the ground and starts babbling apologies--the condescending (positive) lord helps them to their feet with his own hands and cracks a joke to show them that it's ok (as opposed to just walking off without a word or insulting/scolding them). This is also things like trusting a farmer, woodcutter, or artisan to speak with expertise about their own livelihood and taking their advice into consideration if they tell the lord that one of his ideas won't work.
Good boundaries. The ethical liege lord knows that it's normal for the staff to probably be softly bitching about him in private (even with a really good boss, we all grumble from time to time). He's not eavesdropping on them, he's not going into the staff areas where they should reasonably expect to have a degree of privacy, etc.
Righteous and protective of "the weak". The "weak" here doesn't necessarily mean physically weak, this is often used in the sense of someone politically or socially weak, aka The Marginalized -- the poor, the disabled, women, children, the elderly, etc. If a lord sees someone like this being mistreated or abused, he's supposed to step in and put a stop to that.
Committed to reciprocity. In a highly hierarchical system like feudalism, every person (from the lowest peasant all the way up to the crown prince) legally OWES their liege lord certain things (taxes, labor, service, loyalty, etc). A good liege remembers and takes very seriously the idea that this should be a balanced and reciprocal relationship -- in other words, he owes something BACK. Feudalism is modeled very strongly on the family system: If children owe their parents obedience and service, then parents owe their children care and protection. This still applies when the "child" is a farmer and the "parent" is a local baron. Or when the "child" is a duke and the "parent" is the king.
Basically, we get so caught up in the aesthetics of nobility that we forget that it literally is a managerial position that comes with responsibilities that were... very similar back in the day to the same ones we have now. Humans have not changed all that much. At the end of the day, a really good boss in the 1400s versus in one from the 2020s displays most of the same qualities of personality, even if the details of execution are different.
The next question is, of course, "well, but this theoretical liege lord is HIGHLY idealized -- how often did that actually HAPPEN? Wasn't it more likely that everyone was exploited all the time?" and to that I say: Well, maybe. But again, I don't think humans have changed all that much. Just like the bosses of today, there's a SPECTRUM: A really really good boss is rare and precious and one that you tell stories about for years after you've left that job, but a truly, genuinely, homicidally nightmarish boss is also pretty rare. Most bosses are sort of meh -- they have their good moments, they have their shitty moments, but they're tolerable and you can get along with them well enough to do your job, and then you roll your eyes at them behind their back. Generally, humans don't take outright exploitation lying down. Being a bad boss in the historical period is how you get peasant uprisings and revolts, and you know that to be true because your parents raised you with that knowledge, so unless you are very stupid or inbred or an egomaniac, there is literal personal incentive to at minimum be a Tolerable liege lord. And that means hitting at least SOME of the above bullet points.
TL;DR: In the words of Honore de Balzac, "Everything I have just told you can be summarized by an old word: noblesse oblige!"
(for more discussions of the ethics of fealty and what it means to be a good boss when you are an exquisitely beautiful twink of a prince with a hot beefy bodyguard.... [fingerguns] read A Taste of Gold and Iron)
for the ask thing, the classic time-travel-from-Summerhall-to-Ashford?
Ooh, this is interesting, but- the way I'd do it is, I'd want both Dunk and Baelor to have come back. Dunk from Summerhall, Baelor from his own death in a timeline where Dunk died and Baelor lived.
From there- it didn't all fall apart at once. But Baelor and Maekar's relationship never really recovered from the fact that Maekar- didn't care. Tried to sweep the whole thing under the rug, an embarrassment best put aside. And when Baelor insisted on some punishment for Aerion, Maekar was furious about that and finally sent Aerion to Lys! Lys! Egg ran away from his father's party on the way back to Summerhall and none of the family ever saw him again or found out what happened to him! All of this was bad and bad enough- and then the Sickness came, and Baelor's sons were dead, and that just emotionally broke him. Then the drought, hard on the heels of it, and then a Greyjoy reaving fleet, and then, after all that, the Second Blackfyre Rebellion, which- this time around, ended a bit more bloodily, as the castle of Whitewalls fought without Daemon's humiliation at the hands of Glendon Ball to break his support. So that turned into a massacre before Baelor was even back from the Iron Islands, and Blackfyre support just got more widespread from there. He ended up naming Brynden Hand, because his trust in Maekar was so broken, and while he did his best to rein in the police-state tendencies, those got out of control when Baelor was away fighting the Ironborn and Brynden's reputation did not help. The Laughing Storm rebellion ended up happening a lot sooner here, and that was a whole mess to deal with. Baelor had to remarry a woman half his age just to prevent the crown from passing to either Rhaegel or Maekar's children, neither of whom were fit for the job, and then couldn't have more children with her (a couple of those Targaryen dragony stillbirths did not help the image damage they were already suffering), and then he died in the Fourth Blackfyre Rebellion, leaving the future of the crown uncertain.
And all this time, he was haunted by Ser Duncan the Tall, the last true knight in Westeros, who swore to be Baelor's man, and then died in his arms. Every time he saw another new knight, or chose a man for the Kingsguard, every time he had to make a judgement or take a decision in council. Ser Duncan was with him every step of the way.
I'd say that what they both end up coming back to is the night before the trial, or else I suspect Dunk would just have not gone to Ashford. Dunk is- he figures he'll just confess. He failed as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, Egg's madness and the Tragedy of Summerhall- none of that was worth the death of a man who might've been the best king of all of them, and maybe he'll just die in the Sickness, but Dunk would never forgive himself for not at least taking the chance. Or at least, that's the plan until Baelor shows up at the tent to see him, which- very definitely didn't happen the last time around. Dunk would remember that. Baelor has just- he needed to see Dunk again, to confirm that he really is getting this second chance. Seeing Valarr- is something that would be just too painful if he didn't first know that he had a chance to change things. He panics, a bit, when Dunk says he'll confess, because- that might prevent his dying quickly, but- it would be the end of Dunk's knighthood and might well kill him anyway, just slower. And he doesn't quite get why promising to fight with him and help Dunk get more fighters on-side (even telling Egg to tell anyone he tries to recruit that Baelor will be fighting with them might help there) doesn't seem to make Dunk feel any better. In the end, he gets Dunk to promise to fight, and to give it his all, and Dunk- can't refuse him.
And then the trial happens and, uh- the thing is. The thing is. The thing is, Dunk might be twenty-five again in body, but he's Ser Duncan the Tall, Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, who has fought in more wars than anyone else at this tourney has ever even seen. Which, coupled with Baelor's name (and suggesting to Egg that maybe he should get Lyonel Baratheon to help with the recruiting), means that Dunk's team is much stronger to begin with and Dunk himself is, uh- again, storied knight of the Kingsguard with four pages in the white book, now back in his physical prime. He kicks Aerion's arse. Comprehensively. Quickly. This is what tips Baelor off that something is up, because if Dunk was that good the first time around- he probably wouldn't have died.
So, in the aftermath of the trial, they end up having a conversation in the privacy of Baelor's borrowed solar in which, after some talking around the subject, they end up admitting to each other that- yeah, okay, they have both come back in time. They're both a bit shocked to hear of one another's timelines (and both end up appreciating the things the other one did achieve, even when they can only see their own failures - Baelor, for instance, did actually manage to pass some pretty solid pro-smallfolk reforms during his reign, largely driven by how patently unfair the trial was), but end up agreeing to work together on this one. And also kissing about it a bit because they've both been kind of hung up on each other for decades. (The main struggle of their relationship here is going to be separating each other as people from the way they've idealised each other over the years.)
While watching the show, I found really strange that so many people said Lex's villain arc was poorly written. With each episode I felt it would be completely reasonable for him to launch a missile at Smallville (obviously with Lionel there) and kill everyone, it's a town full of unbearable people. BUT now I understand what they meant. He magically becomes evil at the start of season 5, and that he achieves level 33.1 in season 4 is incredibly forced, it was a Clark Kent-level attempt at gaslighting the viewer. Yes, his villain arc was forced, they gave him a million reasons to be a villain but decided not to use any of them for fear of admitting for even a second that the rest of the cast was being a little mean to him, and ruined it.
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for the ask game.
all dunk wanted for someone to vouch for him but now Lord Tyrell seems convinced he’s his father, his squire keeps disappearing and why is Prince Baelor looking at him like that. And Lyonel Baratheon seems to be convinced he’s Dunk’s new best friend. Honestly Dunk isn’t sure this tourney business is worth it
Okay. First, vital point: Dunk is not Lord Tyrell's son. He knows he isn't Lord Tyrell's son, he's from Flea Bottom, he knows that, he remembers it- he's just having one hell of a time convincing Lord Tyrell of that.
This is- probably going to be a painful one, a story about grief and desperation and the way that people convince themselves of a sweet lie because the truth is just too much to bear. And the truth is that Duncan Tyrell, Leo Longthorn's youngest and favourite son, died in the mud of Ashford, and a pair of gutter rats from Flea Bottom picked his corpse clean afterwards before one of them was murdered by a Goldcloak and the other one was taken on as a hedge knight's squire. Dunk took the purse Rafe had taken off that dead squire no older than they were from Rafe's body in turn, and has carried it ever since because it's what he has left of Rafe - neither of them owned enough for him to take anything else. But he can't really say that in the face of the original owner's grieving father who's somehow convinced himself that Dunk is his lost son returned to him. All he can do is say that he's sorry, he had the purse from a long-dead friend, he never knew it belonged to a lord before that, Lord Tyrell can have it back, if it means so much to him-
Lord Tyrell, though, isn't taking that. His dead son was- okay, he didn't look much like Dunk, but he was fair-haired and blue-eyed and they have some pretty tall relatives, he might've grown to be that sort of size given time. (He wouldn't, though he would've been taller than his father.) And they never found the body, after Ashford (it is probably best not to speculate on where it actually ended up), he's been holding onto hope for thirteen years in a way that his whole family agree is- actually pretty unhealthy.
But also, Dunk refusing to take advantage of this at his trial, admitting that- he isn't Lord Tyrell's son, he can't be, he's just some kid from Flea Bottom who got the purse- second-hand, from someone who probably stole it (definitely stole it, but he's not sticking his neck in the noose for that), and he can't lie about that, not even to save his life, because surely taking advantage of that sort of shattering grief would be a monstrous thing for him to do.
If you're doing anything for main-timeline ASOIAF, how about some ABO? You mentioned being interested in that. So- ABO setting, Stannis/Ned? Don't care how you do it, I just want to see you try.
Oh, huh. Neither my trope nor my ship, and yet, it sparks an idea.
So, okay, Stannis is getting to be an omega this time, because- I just feel like that's going to interact with his issues with women in some really fascinating ways if he's thrust into- essentially the same social role. Particularly if you don't actually know someone's secondary gender until it manifests, usually somewhere in the mid-to-late teens (this also, incidentally, cuts off the habit of early betrothals, as it's very awkward if you betroth your son to the lord next door's daughter only for it to turn out that they have incompatible secondary genders and thus cannot reproduce).
So, I'm going to do some fancy footwork here and say the Ned and Cat betrothal doesn't go through because Cat presented as an alpha, and is thus heiress to Riverrun and expected to marry some nice beta girl or omega of either gender and thus carry on her house that way. Stannis, meanwhile, is- maybe something of a late bloomer? By which I mean, presents as an omega at eighteen, so right at the end of the likely period, around the time that he's failing to capture the remaining Targaryens at Dragonstone. Robert is supremely pissed off at him, Stannis is having to reckon with his whole life and future being thrown off its expected trajectory...and then Robert has a bright idea. Lyanna is dead, but this means Ned can still be his brother-in-law! (I suspect Robert only got into the Lyanna betrothal here after Ned's secondary gender presented as something Robert couldn't marry.)
...this is not a great situation, for a few reasons. First of all, Stannis already bitterly resents Ned as the brother Robert chose, when Stannis is the blood brother Robert never had any time for, and Ned getting credit for lifting the siege of Storm's End where Stannis got none for holding the castle for a year isn't helping. Second of all, Ned was just about to head back up north with the secret half-Targaryen baby he is terrified of Robert finding out about and murdering and he's suddenly being married off to Robert's literal brother and the guy who has made rigid adherence to the law at least 80% of his public reputation. Literally the only positive here is that Jon was at least both conceived and born before this marriage was arranged, and even that isn't likely to win him many points here. Third of all, Stannis is right in the middle of a MASSIVE personal identity crisis relating to this whole secondary gender situation, which sure isn't helping anything about this situation.
Not sure where we go from there, but the set-up in and of itself is a pretty interesting one.
for the ask game.
during their service to the Dondarrians in defeating the Vulture King Dunk is captured and left for dead only to rescued and adopted by House Dayne. He is groomed to be the new Sword of the Morning as the generation of Daynes is all women. Dunk goes to Ashford as a representative of House Dayne and meets two Princes on the way.
Ooh, this one's going to be interesting. Not least because- okay. The Vulture King was in 206 AC. Going by the show timeline, where Dunk appears to be about 25, he's 22 for this one. So there has to be a damn compelling reason to go for this. Maybe he saves the heir to Starfall in battle or similar, and that's how he gets into this situation to begin with (Ser Arlan maybe dying in the same skirmish)? We can also maybe work in something like heraldic adoption as a Dornish-only tradition that survived the union with the Seven Kingdoms.
Dunk making it to Sword of the Morning is- hm. Okay, he does go from where he is at Ashford to being a pretty damn good swordsman in just a couple of years, and we know he's going to end up legendary eventually, so I could see that working, and it's not as though you get one in every generation anyway. Though I do hate to lose Dunk's arrival at Ashford as the most unlikely of unlikely challengers. Like- I feel it's a big part of his charm that if you told Ser Arlan that Dunk was going to die as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard with four pages in the White Book, he wouldn't believe you. But, okay, Dunk trains under the master at arms at Starfall, and given good training and support, he gets really good, and a petition is sent to the King for his heraldic adoption as Ser Duncan Dayne, youngest son of House Dayne and brother to the heiress to Starfall. (Dornish inheritance rules, yaaay!)
Huh- he might've actually already met Egg here, given Egg's mother Dyanna was a Dayne by birth. I could see the head of House Dayne inviting their sister/daughter to visit on the occasion of this adoption, and bring her younger kids, so Dunk has met Egg, Aemon, Daella and Rhae already, and was enthusiastically adopted as an extra uncle. Which means that they recognise each other when they run into each other at the inn. Hm. Does Dunk go for this if he knows already who Egg is? Does Egg, if there's a real risk of being handed back to his father?
For your ask game.
Dunk supposed finding one child on the road and taking him with him could be explained by now there was a boy from the Inn, his drunken (brother? Father? Dunk wasn’t clear on the relationship) and Aemon who neither he or Ser Arlan had the heart to turn away the poor lad’s family had sent him off to the citadel won’t even say goodbye Dunk didn’t blame him from running off.
Now all Dunk had to was win enough at Ashford to make sure he could feed his new family. After Ser Arlan’s death he couldn’t bear to lose anyone again.
Ooh, yes, Dunk just- collecting Maekarlings, that sounds fun.
So, I think the big change here is that Aemon is sent off to the Citadel- maybe a year later. Like- Aemon is maybe a couple of years older than Egg, he's 11, I think he must've got sent off to the Citadel pretty soon before Ashford, and that might be part of why Egg is in the place he's at. So, okay, they chose to delay it, and Aemon is going to take in one last tourney with his family at Ashford before going on to the Citadel. Daeron is now responsible for babysitting both his little brothers.
So, Egg and Aemon are playing together when Dunk comes in and mistakes them for the stableboys, and Egg goes along with it and drags Aemon into it with him. The evening at the inn goes- about the same way from there, except that when following Dunk on the lamb cart, Aemon won't let Egg go alone, and also points out that they can't very well leave Daeron to get robbed and murdered or something, so they strip him, leave his clothes, steal others from off a washing line (probably how Egg got his peasant's clothes to begin with) and drag him, unconscious and groaning, to Ashford and Dunk's camp, where he finds them that night, and- okay, Egg is determined to be his squire, Aemon is sticking with Egg, and- look, he doesn't necessarily want to be a squire, he doesn't necessarily want to be a maester either. Daeron, on the other hand, is either passed-out drunk or wickedly hungover and is just- firmly Not Dealing With This.
By the time he sobers up, his brothers have very thoroughly got under Dunk's skin, though, and while Daeron would love to get away from this guy who is going to be the death of some dragon or other, he doesn't want to take a risk of that dragon being either of his brothers, and neither of them want to leave Dunk. And also Dunk got him something greasy for breakfast when he was badly hungover and that was- okay, fine, fuck it, Daeron likes the guy. And hanging around with this random hedge knight sounds like as good a way as any to avoid his father's attention.
Maekar, meanwhile, is losing his mind even more because three of his sons are missing! Three! Nearly all of them! Fuck! He may get a description from the innkeeper of the three young lordlings she had at her inn, but they disappeared without paying their bill, and she doesn't know where to, which- could well lead to Maekar being away from Ashford longer, desperately searching for his lost sons. He might get summoned back in time for the trial, if they send a fast rider, but- even then, it's very obvious none of his sons have been kidnapped, because Egg and Aemon swear they weren't, Daeron was very obviously completely unrestrained, and- look. It is one thing to believe a huge robber knight kidnapped his youngest son. It is another to believe a huge robber knight kidnapped all three of his sons, including a grown-up one, and managed to keep them captive for days completely unrestained while they all took in a tourney together. Like- there are multiple witnesses to Dunk and his companions at things like the tug-of-war, the puppet show, watching the tilts...even if Daeron wants to come up with a lie about what he was doing, it's very hard to do so with both of his young brothers calling him a liar.
Dunk's still on the hook for the punch and the kick, of course, but- without the pretext of wanting to loop Daeron in on the trial by combat, Aerion might have to go up against Dunk one on one, which- uh- seems unlikely to go well for him.

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#how long have we been holding on to this one?
i’ve had this queued for 365 days
I wish you would write a fic where...
Send me an anymous (or not) summary of the fic you wish I would write. (maybe I will write a tidbit)