hi I'm crime @crimesoptimal - Tumblr Blog

islamprotestan-blog

only 5 seconds

zanyflowerpizzatrash

i wasn't ready for that..lol

suffer-no-humiliation

Immediately recognized that look

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winged-wolf-tsuki

effseedee

"You might be wondering how I got into this situation. Well, I fucking love punching."

insaneandlovingit

You would not believe your ass

If ten million largemouth bass.

problemnyatic

desired you while the women flee

miraclemaya

this is problematic of me (joke) but i really enjoy the splashing of french into english speech or writing. just adds a pizzazz

witchofanguish

*adds a certain je ne sais quoi

miraclemaya

see the problem is that despite around 8 years of french schooling the french language has utterly escaped my brain so even the most obvious set up i had created for myself by accident was missed by me. such is life.

spaghettioverdose-deactivated20

*c'est la vie

miraclemaya

god damn it

estrogenesis-eeveeangelion

*sacrebleu

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tbatthis

smt’s whole only playing the battle theme once someone attacks thing is very cool i have said this but it’s also so so funny when you fail demon negotiation with one of the sexy lady demons and they’re like EW ARE YOU HITTING ON ME and the fear of god starts playing. this is what having social anxiety feels like

tbatthis

“the worst she can say is no” wrong! agidyne

electricpurrs

horsefriend

putnamspuppeteer

For those who don't know: Ikumi Nakamura is the woman who was senior artist on Bayonetta, and designed the titular character along with Hideki Kamiya. Their greatest moment of bonding was over their insistence that Bayonetta keep her glasses on at all times. Nakamura cannot go to horny jail. She is the warden.

brookietf

catgirlforeskin

Happy pride month to her and her exclusively

seraphiminn

she made a comic about the experience on twitter

catboybiologist

happy pride

ikindamaybewanthertositonmyface

An Update from back in October I'm surprised wasn't added to this post. lol

fleshengine

I love the face of a woman having the time of her life.

thesadboisguidetolife

ataraxetta

Do y'all remember years and years before we had AI writing fake human there was that guy on twitter writing fake AI, like "I forced a bot to watch 1000 hours of x and write a script", and he had a batman one and it had a joke like "Joker gives Batman a gift. It is a coupon for new parents. It is expired." ??? I need to track it down it was so so funny to me

ataraxetta

FOUND IT

pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated

Squidward clocking out of the Krusty Krab and heading to the nearest gay after hours event

bpdcassidy-archived-deactivated

Come on, now, op. We all know squidward doesn’t go to the club.

He’s one of those “I’m not like other gays” gays who goes home to a bottle of wine and his obscure 50s vaudeville records, and then mopes because he can never find a boyfriend.

calamaricarlo

I love this website so much

cinnamonghost

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wakingfromthewater

This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.

artistic-octopus

wordswithkittywitch

Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.

totally-not-an-al1en

captainjonnitkessler

When I was a kid I had a book of like, "fun physics experiments for kids". And one of them was an "experiment" where you hold an object by a string and just by focusing on the direction you wanted it to swing, it would start to move in that direction even without your input. The book of course explained that this was the ideomotor effect, a phenomenon where your thoughts can create minute, unconscious movements in your body.

Then a couple years later I got a fortune-telling kit that included a pendulum. You hold the pendulum over a piece of paper that says "yes" and "no" and ask a question, and whichever way the pendulum moves is the answer.

At which point I was like "hey WAIT a minute", and in hindsight I think that experience explains most things about who I am as a person

talking-fox-actual-deactivated2

I upset a few people in my intro to western philosophy class with this one.

Girls Scouts encounter Bigfoot the most frequently. Part of their oath is to keep him a secret because he’s very kind and makes up 30% of their revenue due to his fervent love for thin mints.

hlahlahlahlahly

As a Girl Scout leader, I am telling you that this is NOT true, and any former girl scout that says it is, should think about what they are saying and what oaths they may have sworn in the past

disney-universes

From Vulture’s Oral History of Lilo and Stitch, here’s stories of what Michael Eisner was like in sweatbox screenings of 90s DIsney classics.

Completely fucking clueless. The incarnation of Defunctland’s jokes about him. Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois just hid Lilo and Stitch from him until it was done, absolute legends.

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sabertoothwalrus

the funniest thing about AA4 taking place during 2026 is that they had tried to design Phoenix looking like a sleazy bum with a drinking problem, and by absolute sheer coincidence, the beanie + hoodie + baggy sweats look is INCREDIBLY TRENDY this year. Every other man at my uni has been dressed like this lately. Phoenix is not dressed like he's at rock bottom, he's dressed fashionably. he's TRENDY. for all we know he could be wearing entirely designer

memebots-holehell

man knew Exactly what time he was going to be in

flowerbleedme

Well as a "fan" I would be "serviced" by some THEMES AND MOTIFS #themesandmotifs #artwithmeaning

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hi I'm crime