lemongrass and sleep

I want to be a house un-flipper. I want to buy expensive houses and make them look so shitty it devalues the entire neighbourhood

it's a beautiful day to be tortured by forces beyond my comprehension

i know animals can’t be “evil” in the sense of human morality but i think orcas and chimpanzees are getting really close

work is stupid. when am i going to get a letter in the mail from a mysterious relative i never met before and inherit a rustic castle somewhere in europe?

cats have to be very small but they are allowed to do as many crimes as they want. that's the deal they made with god

maybe if we, as a society, spent more time in gardens things wouldn’t be like this

business major (derogatory) 

[puts several things in my coat pockets] inventory