in the trees

I had a dream last night. It made me realize how much worse an event was to me. It was traumatic, not just an uncomfortable moment.

It was a breezy Sunday in South San Francisco and I had my dad over for lunch. We were sitting on a bench outside in the courtyard of my apartment complex. There was a split in the walking path to the left of us, and we had been sitting on the right split path. 

My head fell onto my dad’s upper arm as I leaned into him, “I’m tired,” I said. I raised my phone to look at my Twitter feed. “Do the Niners play today?” I asked.

I turned my head from my phone and looked straight on. My eyes caught the eyes of someone else walking at a slow pace. Our linked eyes both widened in shock, slight fear, and anxiety. My body froze. I got cold. No, hot. No, cold. I started shaking. I couldn’t stop shaking. I wanted to scream.

What was Suzanne doing here? At this point in my life, I hadn’t seen her since she walked out of the office the afternoon of the company holiday party to set up.

I saw her in a gray tank top with big white stripes and shorts. She was carrying an array of food trays, looking like she was going to a picnic on the grass.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” I yelled.

She kept staring and walking.

“I said, what the fuck are you doing here?!” I yelled again.

She said, “Sexual assault? Really?” “You fucking sexually assaulted me, get the fuck out! Fuck off! Fuck you!” 

I’m unemployed. My bank account is overdrafted by almost $500. I’m depressed as fuck. I don’t know what to really do.

I feel ugly, been breaking out quite a bit and it’s embarrassing. I don’t feel very pretty.

I have no motivation to do anything.

I don’t feel like a valid bisexual since I’m with a man and have no desire to be with anyone else. It makes me sad but also nice because I’m with a really nice lover and I love him so much.

My name is LV, and I am a creative writer based in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Take a look at my latest online projects.

Enjoy.