writing archive for @warhunting.

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@cptfl4g
writing archive for @warhunting.

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WILLIAM GARCIA - oscar isaac - special forces operational detachment delta (rick's right hand), prior ranger nco with the 3rd bat. enlisted as an 11c in the us army.
LEVI PETERS - luke evans - special forces operational detachment delta, prior 0321 / recon marine with the united states marine corps.
OLIVER GRIER - nicholas hoult - special forces operational detachment delta, prior operations machine gunner with the 75th. enlisted as a 0331 with the us army.
COLTER JONES - chris pine - special forces operational detachment delta, prior medic with 3rd bat. enlisted as a 68w with an option 40 contact.
ELIJAH LUNDY - tom hardy - special forces operational detachment delta, prior operations chief with marsoc. enlisted as a 3537 with the marines.
MICHAEL THOMAS - neil brown jr - special forces operational detachment delta, prior master breacher with the 75th. enlisted as a 18c in the us army.
super suits are a funny concept to him, he imagines the same could be said about extensive uniforms and gear on the military side. the stark difference of casual attire to the deep green’s of what leon dawns could be jarring, but rick doesn’t seem to mind; fingertips ghost along edges and lines, form craning absently to find the curve of leon’s mouth. “ nice suit. ” it’s not quite patronizing, but it’s punctuated with a soft, breathy sound that could almost be mistaken as a laugh.
it is then in that moment that realizes that the other man hadn’t had too much scrutiny upon his star-studded suit. leon knows it’s a bit over the top, then again when has vought ever not been over the top; practical, he’s still able to move in all the ways he wnats so really he doesn’t mind the excess stars enough to make anyone dizzy. vaguely reminiscent to the more simple design from before—- the trench-coat had to go, in fact it had the minute before his steel-toed boots saw battle. his modern suit, or rather the suit that followed & remained even after all those years was just simply superior in every way. only thing he’d really change is the amount of stars which he’s learning to love like a second skin upon him. but it really is the fact that he’s realized most of the times he was with rick he was wearing the bare minimum and the only time he truly had been decked out for more than a few minutes with him and missions, was right here, right now.
with the other mans hands upon him it’s enough to make more dizzy than the stars. mouth finds his and he’s not indulging himself just yet. nice suit, the breath of it presses out against his lips and leon is echoing not quite the same sound but a snorted laugh, “ thank you. ” using the flat of his fingerless gloved palm to shove him back onto a near-by chair. with his hand still there pressed to the center of @warhunting’s chest, he straddles into his lap. while he doesn’t believe the two words are ingenuine; helmeted head canting to the side, “ its the stars isn’t it? ” leaning himself close again, bare fingertips feather-light against the stubble upon cheek, “ there’s a lot of them. ” connecting their lips together.
CANON COMPLIANT VERSES.
• younger / west point. i don’t typically do a lot of writing in this verse, but it’s a good mapping point at times. richard rogers flag jr is the son of a decorated green beret and a late bio-engineer. after his mother passes, he is essentially raised by his active duty father and his friends / teammates. when rick is eleven, his father is killed in action, and he is essentially then adopted by jeb and michelle stuart. they raise him for the rest of his young adult life, and essentially support him in his decision to attend west point ( though he briefly considers the naval academy due to a long lived interest in naval aviation. this is homage to the confusing comic concept where he’s briefly a test pilot before his branch seems to change entirely ). he graduates west point with a major in foreign relations and a minor in terrorism studies. • big army. rick flag serves the first leg of his career as a contracted 11a. his deployment rotations are seemingly relentless during this time, and he begins to actively set his sights on “getting after it” and pushing his career further. • green beret. rick passes selection and qualifies for a spot that follows closely in his father’s footsteps. he serves a bulk of his time in the army balancing diplomat and direct action - but finds himself yearning for the next level. during this time, rick completes various other tasks, like ranger school - constantly looking for ways to progress his skills. • sof-d. upon meeting the criteria for selection, including his team voting him into a slot, rick goes through the process of selection / becoming a cag operator. he serves as such until approached by the govt / waller to run a joint op with navy seals and an experimental unit of villains referred to as “the suicide squad”. • suicide squad 2019. following the first suicide squad movie / novel, waller attempts to coerce rick to work for her full time via june moone. this escalates to the issue with enchantress destroying the city and wiping out most of his team on the op / almost all the other joint op members. it takes a heavy toll on rick’s mental health, and he actively decides to return to his typical cag career. months later, the entirety of his team is killed in a government funded suicide mission put together by waller who was determined to get rick under her thumb. after rick is court martialed for “challenging direct orders” in an attempt to fall back from the mission and save his friends, waller approaches him and offers him a chance at redemption / freedom, which he ends up taking. • suicide squad 2021. following the events of the second movie with some concept of blended canon sources / comic ideas, rick ends up on the illustrious mission that wreaks havoc on the squad numbers. when they finally figure out why they’re there, rick is aware of how he was shoehorned by waller and the govt to begin with. he then vows to release information on us involvement in human experimentation, citing that he is tired of keeping dirty secrets for people who would so simply throw him and his men away. peacemaker ends up confronting him and, after a tense bit of hands on combat, ends up killing him.
AU TIMELINE VERSES.
• turning down waller. following an instance in which rick turns down waller, he has no involvement in the second film and ends up dishonorably discharged and working as a pmc, actively moving to sidestep waller’s advances as he attempts to get some semblance of his life back. • surviving 2021. rick’s body is pulled from the wreckage, but luckily, he’s alive. the road to recovery is long, he ends up roped back into the squad, and this is where most of his comic adventures get funneled into. • no squad involvement. rick ends up not being present for the first film, making katana the sole leader of the squad. instead, much like his marvel verse, cag works behind the scenes during national / allied crisis situations.
FANDOM SPECIFIC VERSES.
• far cry 5. after narrowly avoiding being completely scalped overseas by enemy sniper fire, rick flag is sent home with a (minor) tbi and a stringent order to put everything into recovery so he can be rotated back in the fight. for awhile, he’s good about following doctor’s orders - but when a friend reaches out in distress from hope county, montana, rick decides to make the trek from sierra vista up. upon arriving, with the intention to do a wellness check considering his friend had been mentioning things that sounded insane, he realizes the distress was deeply warranted. painfully bored on bed rest, and never one to run from a fight, rick flag is picked up by the project and wiggles his way out of custody and questioning - choosing the whitetail mountains as a primary base of operation. he works all around the county, however, helping train up a stronger resistance and functioning as a gun for hire for the deputy. • marvel. special operational forces detachment-delta works in the grey area between general big government and shield in terms of ground response to large level threats. because of their extensive training on hostage rescue, cqb, etc - rick often finds himself as a ground team during large scale events (such as the battle for new york, when cag was deployed as a ground unit to assist with city-wide evacuations in hot spot areas). he’s also been involved in the likes of operation cerberus, and has only escaped rawlins on the grounds that rick has some heavy-weight personnel in his corner. • call of duty. soon. tl:dr, cag works w/ 141 on occasion. • star wars. soon. tl;dr, mandalorian protector + prequels heavy. • scp / general horror. soon. tl;dr, rick is a team leader working for the scp foundation. in general horror verses, rick works with a specialty sof-d unit that responds to “inhuman” or “otherworldly” threats. • resident evil. soon. tl;dr, bsaa team leader who brings counter-terrorism practice from his days in cag for combating bio-terrorism. • halo. soon. tl;dr, spartan rick. • fantasy. soon. tl;dr, this goes for disney, the witcher, game of thrones, etc - rick is one of a few remaining knights from a long fallen kingdom. he has disregarded his previous service to a long deceased monarch, and chooses to utilize his skills as a pseudo soldier of fortune. whether it’s as large as being roped into wars / combat, or as small as offering service as a body guard. • modern. soon. tl;dr, encompassing general modern concepts / fandoms like top gun, rick is just a sof-d team leader. in the sense of top gun or like media, he’s down range during the tg:m operation in case things go south and some cryptic cowboys have to be sent in for rescuing. • red dead / western. soon. tl;dr, rick is a known bounty hunter who’s been christened a sort of omen in the outlaw community because he rides a white horse.

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tbh dating rick flag but all of your clothes and pillows have the faintest, lingering smell of like cedar and vanilla + tobacco from his beard oil. he puts his hands on the sides of your face for a kiss and somehow, somehow they always smell just faintly of that metallic sort of, “just broke down and cleaned my firearm” kind of smell - doesn’t matter how often and how much he washes them. he drives for errands and dinner (and he always pays without really realizing / thinking about it), and when you lean in close he smells like the hot arizona sun and the faintest linger of coffee (you’d ask him how much he’s had today, but you know he had a rough night). he finally agrees to ride passenger (and you wonder how anyone can live so paranoid sometimes), and when you stop to get gas, he’s slid out of the passenger seat to pump it for you. his laugh doesn’t take up much space, but his presence does - it fills shared area like smoke, it’s heavy and demanding without him even realizing it; when he talks people maintain a steadfast eye contact, they consciously appear to mull over everything they’re about to say. his beard is always velvet but his hands are always kind of dry and rough and you’d ask him how that happens considering the gloves he goes through, but it’s not a question you wanna know the answer to (and he wouldn’t tell you anyway). it’s stirring to an empty bed at 0430 because his morning run is clockwork. it’s, “have you seen the Advil?” in a feigned sort of voice that almost sounds casual in the way of uncanny valley - because his head is bothering him but the army cleared him and there’s obviously no way the ear-ringing migraines are related. it’s cooking anything and he’ll eat it, but it’s also the notion of watching a man put hot sauce on anything that seems inedible. it’s sitting in the silence because he removed himself from a room as temper visibly simmers over something neither of you can see. it’s weird return times and weirder leaving times, never really knowing where he’s off too (in fact, you’re not even sure what he does). it’s the ongoing struggle of watching the hero is destined for tragedy no matter the love he receives, because the call is always there for him… it never silences no matter the burden.
not to be annoying and add to this long ass ramble but it’s also like - listening to him practice new languages by talking to himself out loud. it’s a new tattoo that you didn’t even notice until today. it’s running fingers over his arms, his sides, and the skin is raised and uneven from a funny ranger school story he keeps forgetting to tell you. it’s him and his boys going from laughing to talking in easy hushed tones over cigarettes on the back porch (they’ve all been drinking, and they’ll crash haphazardly spread from office to front room in places that don’t seem even a little comfortable). it’s ricks fingers tapping nervously when kids are screaming (joy or otherwise) or babies are crying. it’s realizing what’s coming when that heavy, weathered bag is sitting in the main hall.
thinking abt rick f.lag and rly any of my other muses believing in the paranormal if just bc of experiences they’ve had overseas.
ok but time to delve a lil deeper. rick is military superstitious and he absolutely believes in ghost stories. between his father's paranormal war stories growing up and his own paranormal experiences from west point to present years (west point cadets often talk about a ghost referred to as 'the pusher', a soldier dawning antique uniform who's presence was so suffocating that people can only sit / lay immobile in his presence until he leaves), rick is deff on the side of believing there are absolutely things that cannot be explained. esp overseas, in places famously nicknamed the graveyard of empires, you cannot simply believe that the energies of war have left.
another important thing here is a lot of these things seem exceptionally more real when you partner stress + sleep deprivation with it ... and the fact that, as rick gets older, his ability to occasionally tell memory from reality is slipping because of cptsd.
but overall, i think rick and his boys have some solid, spooky stories from overseas.
simply thinking about the sheer lack of generic things that rick leaves behind when he passes in the tss2. most people sort through the dishes and furniture when they sift through the homes of the dead, but rick's house has always been under-furnished and particularly bland feeling. (his adoptive mother had once told him that it looked like a set home, like he was always perpetually ready to move.) no, instead, there are real pieces of rick f.lag left behind.
a desk drawer full of challenge coins shoved into zip-lock bags from decades of service. a wall of film photos from disposable cameras beaten down on deployments, faces that had been active in his life until the very end. a shelf's worth of journals full of sporadic thought patterns and desperate attempts in sorting through his sometimes troubled thoughts. a hefty ready room and meticulously built + tinkered weapons. a closet with a handful of clothes and hats that his scent was woven into - beard oil and gun oil and everything else that made up his daily existence.
simply thinking about rick's life being devoted, from eighteen to his forties, to service. to his men. to the legacy of his father and his grandfather and his great grandfather before him. a fridge with nothing beyond scattered, plenty expired leftovers.
quiet pieces of a very private life brimming with achievements that he never really talked much about.
and it just,,,,,,,, makes me sad that dc gonna do him like that.
the media portraying vets: ptsd is strictly " :( " at all times. me writing rick flag: anyway, there is nothing normal about what he does for a living, and it has altered his brain accordingly. he is not simply sad man comes home from deployment :(((, he is a man who struggles to find where reality exists on the cusp of memories stained ugly with horror. he is tapping his pen or jiggling his leg anxiously because he's positively haunted far more than he finds anything quiet. he is unbridled bouts of anger with hairpin triggers that he can't even begin to pinpoint. he is occasional chest pains and an immune system often left broken in the wake of endurance. rick fl.ag is an alcoholic and a casual dabbler in cocaine because instead of recognizing that his body and his mind cannot continue undergoing these things - he chooses to drag his mangled form through the motions of service and he needs something to make it manageable to whatever butchered rendition of a soul is still trapped inside of him, and because he's good at it and because he still proves completely capable, he's allowed. rick fla.g goes much deeper than a simple camera pan of :( that can be fixed with a half-baked love interest. the epitome of his existence revolves around this very strange, violent career path that he's chosen where the horror that is mankind tests him more often than assures him, where he sometimes literally pieces people back together - in the runoff of individuals who were damned in their formidable years by wars waged on the demand of politicians' lies and greed,,,,,,,, and the way that it altered him that leaves him unrecognizable to anyone who knew him before his time in the service-
ricks best deployment story is once as a fresh new officer he fell into a big ass hole in dark ass afg.

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thinkin abt how rick’s nose is kind of crooked and there’s a slight bump - it was broken twice, once in highschool and once at west point. abt how, for a good while, he was missing a back molar and a few other teeth that he lost in a jump training accident that involved being whacked in the face by some equipment. thinkin abt the raised / textured skin along his arms and lower back from that bacterial infection during selection. thinkin abt the fact that his feet are ugly af honestly from decades of rucking and wearing boots and being in a physically demanding job. thinkin abt how rough and calloused his hands are and how his fingers have been broken and jammed so many times they’re far from straight. thinkin abt how his teeth aren’t pearly white from coffee and deployment cigarettes. abt the speckled sun damage across the bridge of his nose from years of being in the sun. abt-
How does it make sense that a healthy man has ED?
ok, let’s just ... talk about this then, since this is a hot new discourse for no fucking reason. it is normal for men to experience delayed ejaculation, not erectile dysfunction, from time to time. i’m not a doctor, obvi, so this is online research vibes - but lets break some shit down.
i wanna start this off by saying rick is literally forty-one years old. his body is busted up from almost two decades of military service. the fact that some arthritis, aches and pains, and a little extra elbow grease needed to bust sometimes are his only known issues physically? miracle. especially considering the accidents / incidents he’s been involved int.
rick actively, though undiagnosed, suffers from cptsd (complex post-traumatic stress disorder). ** cptsd is associated with ongoing, repeated exposure to trauma, mind you. with that comes underlying issues like anxiety, paranoia, depression, insomnia, difficulty controlling / regulating moods and emotions, nightmares + flashbacks, guilt, intrusive thoughts, etc. he tries to keep his shit under control, but sometimes it doesn’t work like that, especially at home when he feels like he can actively cycle through his emotions because it’s a supposed safe place. when he isn’t working / staying busy, he ends up suffering, quite literally.
cptsd bleeds into a lot of aspects of his life: his relationships, his ability to function without nervousness in various environments, and yeah, even his intimate life on occasion.
and this isn’t even touching on the tbi he sustained overseas or the long term effects on the brain of being in close range to blasts / explosions.
the military has a heavy drinking culture, especially in infantry, which is where rick started. as he got deeper into the sof community, drinking became not only a social event / norm, but a way to cope with things he couldn’t talk about. the nature of operational security keeps him hung up on secrets, and his reluctance to be open about his career - esp with non-military sig others - keeps him stewing on the things that he experiences.
rick is, in a lot of instances, borderline a high functioning alcoholic.
he drinks less than he did in his early 20′s / early 30′s, but he still drinks more than he probably should. and sometimes, when he slips up, of course it effects his uh... performance.
nerve damage to the spinal cord from heavy rucking in shit conditions, jumping / high impact training exercises, and a handful of accidents that have involved falls from higher up. so there’s that.
but lets talk abt hormone imbalances real quick.
Research has found that the extreme stress veterans’ bodies and minds undergo during training and deployment sometimes causes lasting damage to their hormone production, which leads to the debilitating long-term symptoms of low testosterone.
Normal physiologic levels of serum testosterone among young American men ranges from 10.4 to 34.7 nmol/L. However, a study of men participating in an 8-week Army Ranger training course revealed that they produced as little as 35% of the “normal” serum testosterone due to the stress and duress associated with military training.
rick, after almost two decades of service, has been on a combat rotation for most of his career. the va doesn’t recognize low testosterone levels as a service related disability despite the rampant studies showing that it is a problem, and that also contributes to rick’s situation.
beyond all this?
rick has been exposed to burn pits, chemical agents, radio equipment that service personnel have to trade off on carrying because extended exposure makes them physically ill, high fatigue levels / lower immune levels due to chronic stress, nutritional fluctuation, the illustrious malaria over-dose overseas, etc.
the idea of rick experiencing issues beyond the “seen” ones is not only a given, but significantly more realistic than the uwu-fication of shit.
FURTHERMORE!
just because rick deals with this on occasion, doesn’t mean he somehow has to be inherently adverse to sex. people with physical and mental disabilities can enjoy intimacy, even with the occasional roadblock, without some ableist goofball critiquing them and making them feel like they’re somehow not dealing with chronic issues / disabilities because of it.
Would Rick have ever taken up the mantel of Captain America if he was asked? I love your blog btw.
this is genuinely a really good question, and the short answer? no. absolutely fucking not. there’s a plethora of reasons i’ll get into that you can optionally read, but, yeah. there’s no circumstance where rick would want to take on any kind of “public mantel”, especially something like captain america, which is a high profile title in an era of internet / social media. but let’s get into it -
𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙿𝚄𝙱𝙻𝙸𝙲 𝙰𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙲𝚃.
it’s important to remember that rick fla.g doesn’t just work in the sof field. he’s a tier one operator, tip of the spear type shit. his entire existence demands a tight-lipped secrecy that is unfathomable to some normal people lmao. for christ’s sake, dude doesn’t even have any public records like a birth certificate available. everything about his job, unless declassified by the govt, is a fucking secret. this means that outlets like good morning america and whatever goofy ass talk shows in the marvel universe that pry into personal lives would not only be met with very flat, boring answers - but it would make him super uncomfortable.
because his life is already very private on that front, even with loved ones, it’s not very far fetched to believe that the last thing he’d want to do is sit in a hot seat while someone grills him about his service history. i imagine some of it would be public, if just to better give him reason to be “worthy” for the shield”, but most of his experiences and story would still be carefully under wraps. this gentleman said it best when discussing speaking on occupational details as an operator in an environment where everyone feels casually free about talking about their jobs:
being in the hot seat, as i said, would make him uncomfortable. maybe it’s not intentional - BUT IT’S EMBARRASSING. it’s embarrassing to encounter burning questions and not being able to answer, to feel like you look stupid on public forums because there is a right answer but it’s not your answer to talk about per the dod. rick fla.g is quite literally a quiet professional, he’s not trying to talk about shit. which brings me to my next point.
𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝙻 𝙼𝙴𝙳𝙸𝙰.
so, lemme preface this with: rick fl.ag already has a deep hatred of social media. he has seen, first hand, what oversharing online can get someone into. cag often deals with trafficking situations and all that jazz, he is a firm believer that social media and sharing things like location / travel patterns / home layouts / etc is dangerous and scary. truly, it’s safe to assume he’s already on one about it.
add in being a dude operating in broad daylight in a very recognizable, trademarked suit? he’d wanna put himself on ice personally. cag operates so carefully, so secretly, the idea of being under a public microscope makes his skin crawl. every movement in a public eye documented, perceived despite a lack of knowledge for the underlying situation. rick fl.ag and guys like rick fl.ag operate with execute authority and will get the job done at any cost. someone once said that you cannot begin to imagine what some delta operators have had to do and overcome as human beings to get to where they are, and the idea that this could become a public spectacle after years of working in the shadows? fuck that.
𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙳𝚂 + 𝙰𝙲𝙲𝙾𝙻𝙰𝙳𝙴𝚂.
this one is simple: rick fl.ag fucking hates chest candy. he does not do what he does for medals, to shake any goofy politicians hands, or be recognized in any way beyond a simple, “mission accomplished” type deal. award ceremonies kill his fucking soul, he doesn’t have the patience, and the added idea that somehow every stupid motherfucker with an agenda is gonna suck his asshole for being captain america? nah. his fuse is microscopic, he’d lose his mind.
𝚃𝙻;𝙳𝚁.
rick fl.ag swears too much for morning talk shows and would rather shove his hand in a garbage disposal and turn it on than carry a high profile, public mantel into whatever stupid ass battle the government sends him to in broad daylight. so fuck no, he wouldn’t ever accept the title. and it has nothing to do with feeling under-qualified or exceptionally human, because rick is very confident in his abilities to tag and bag, doesn’t matter who the fuck you are. (per the example of him going on to absolutely body general zod in the comics. get fucked, nerd.) it all just comes back to the notion that he is a quiet professional, and he’ll die that way before he gets plastered on a cereal box or worshiped as a hero. (which is a whole other story, bc rick despises hero worship in and out of the military, esp revolving the gwot.)
i think it’s easier for rick to maintain friendships in the service because it’s a direct reflection of how his life is structured. oh sorry i didn’t invite you, honey, i didn’t think you’d be home - it isn’t personal, and it certainly isn’t from a place of malice, but it’s draining either way. people don’t mean to make less time for him when he’s home, they just kind of do … civilian jobs, trips with families, life - it can’t go on hold because he’s finally back in town, and he has never held that above anyone. but it’s a big contributor as to why a lot of his friendships are in the service / service based, and why he,,,,,, experiences a lot of loneliness beyond that, esp in his late 20′s / early 30′s.
rick fla.g w/ aggro asf ptsd + uncontrolled emotions after being 360 no-scoped like, damn sorry i started crying over breakfast bc my coffee got kind of cold - that wasn’t very hardened war hero of me.

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BASE LAYERS: in terms of base layers, under uniform, rick usually wears a “military issued” color t-shirt, though it’s never military issued and usually from the brand savage tacticians or a like company. sometimes, when it’s exceptionally warm + humid where he is, he forgoes the combat shirts for just a t-shirt. same goes for places it’s exceptionally cold: he’ll forgo the typical attire for a branded hoodie of his choice. he’s also big on seamless boxer briefs that are made of quick dry materials and heavier work socks. TOP + PANTS: he usually wears whatever camo the op calls for in a standard issue army combat shirt and will sometimes entertain army issued pants, however, he usually prefers jeans (wrangler, specifically, because of the cut / flexibility, durability) or uf pro branded combat pants. he likes his pants + shirts to hug tight with the stretch to maneuver, excess fabric gets in the way and can create an issue in the long run. GLOVES + BELTS + ETC: rick wears, religiously, mehcanix tactical gloves in whatever color the op is working with, sometimes they’re the ones with the carbon fiber knuckles - usually they’re soft, and he cuts the glove at mid-knuckle on his trigger and middle finger on his right hand. he doesn’t like the fabric barrier when he’s working because of trigger pressure + sensory. as for belts, rick either wears a generic nylon belt or a crye precision mrb 2.0, low profile belt system in the appropriate color / pattern. from there, he’ll usually rig a sidearm with a kydex holster mounted on a safariland system. he typically does not like both legs rigged, unless he HAS to - but usually his sidearm ammo is secured to his rig. otherwise, the low profile also houses his tourniquets and any misc things that he doesn’t want secured to his rig / stashed in an aid back or his backpack. CHEST RIG: rick has a completely custom spirtius system chest rig that he lives in, basically, but he also has a few other rigs from brands like hayley strategic and ats tactical that he alternates depending on what he needs. all of his pouches are spiritus systems or hayley straregic. he also carries a juggernaut case for his phone - which he’s acquired in quite a few colors. his backpack / other misc gear related to the rig are either army issued or from tactical assault gear. MISC: most of his additional gear is army issued, sans his ops core ballistic helmet and pvs-14 nvgs. this includes his radio setup and most of his ptt system - if just because keying into channels when shit isn’t streamlined is his least favorite thing. he prefers to keep some issued gear because it’s not always worth ruining his own. it’s worth noting, however, that rick has a shitload of gear on his own regard because he prefers to be prepared rather than getting prepared.
rick is 41 but his father is forever 37 + his mother is forever 28.
rick wasn’t old enough to remember his mom passing. ( he was 2, quite frankly. ) wasn’t old enough to remember his parents being new parents when she was taken. he doesn’t remember his mother’s mother flying out to take care of him while she fought hard for her life, doesn’t remember the accident - none of it. but he does remember losing his father. not in the way of being able to vividly remember every small detail, no, but in the way that you measure a crippling and immediate grief. he can’t remember what time it was, but he remembers being the one opening the door. he can’t tell you what color dress his grandmother was wearing, but he can tell you how it felt to accept his father’s flag. sometimes that’s more haunting: the notion that as a kid, the gravity of goodbyes in a military environment didn’t resonate fully until it was way too late. this concept of not fitting in one last hunting trip, of spending one second longer in the passenger seat, or not saying and hearing just one more time that his father loved him.
partner this with this brutal legacy of like … trying to live up to a man who gave all. this personal concept of like, not really having something to prove, but a name to make proud. the insecurities that come with it when you make decisions or struggle with mental health - especially when your memory of your father is warped. rick doesn’t remember his father falling short at times, his brain kind of redacts that, and instead he’s left with the memory of a man who operated in the sof field and was a good father despite being single / never remarrying after his wife’s death. it creates this strange sort of vacuum for rick, and in dc verses / verses where he’s dishonorably discharged for pushing back on orders he didn’t agree with + didn’t wanna risk his men and civilian life for, that pressure is amplified, because he genuinely believes he failed.
idk man just thinking abt it all for some sadistic reason lmao.