Cozy.U @cozyunderworld - Tumblr Blog

SIRENS

CHAPTER SEVEN - PREOCCUPIED (MAC DEMARCO)

SYNOPSIS You agree to go to group counselling because you can't fix grief the same way you fix everything else. Every week, the same people sit in a circle talking about the things they lost, the things they regret, the things they can't change. You say you're fine, Satoru says he's busy. Neither of you believe each other. Each session ends the same way, with both of you heading to the door at the same time, pretending it doesn't mean anything.

Sirens by Sonder - 'If i closed the door and shut my mouth, I wouldn't be here right now'

PAIRING Lawyer Gojo x Surgeon Fem reader

CONTENT mdni, mentions of death, grief, depression, anxiety, CUTIEPIE YUJIII and nonchalant choso (not really), yuji and choso are brothers, college student yuji, mentions of PTSD, girl is deep in her pain :(

WORD COUNT 6.8K

CHAPTER INDEX <<CHAPTER SIX >>CHAPTER EIGHT (PENDING...)

ARE WE MERE PUPPETS FOR THE ORGULOUS DEITIES?

The intolerant Vrykolakas sit by the steps to intemperance, their wings hanging low, fangs drenched with the vitality of their prey, hunters in a world of abundance. The lowly humans pass them without notice, their swaying bodies moving to other motions to inhibit their spirits.

Were the creatures blind to the ignorant, or had they blended in with the other ghouls? They wander through the flock of humans, their claws gripping life they wished to cease, they wished to capture, for the taste of disillusionment might free them from chastisements.

The thick, deep blue drapes covering the horizon prevented the wicked from entering the ruined lands. But it didn’t prevent the corrupt from gaining sustenance from the starved, for the absence of light masked the sin lurking in the corners.

Balls of fire lit up across the sky, the size minute to the passerby, the glint not enough to shine in the shade.

But you squinted through the fogged-up window to see the glimmers that blessed the city.

You were slouched on a stained fabric-padded seat, on a bus that seemed far more sluggish than the cars that passed it.

The vehicle was littered with various individuals on their own atypical journeys. Some had their foreheads pressed against the window whilst their eyes fluttered shut, their monotonous days slowly eating at their flesh.

A group of teenage girls sat behind you, their voices pitched to a key too high for human hearing, squealing to themselves about things that you wished to care for.

A scruffy man stumbled whilst mumbling incoherent sayings to himself, and the stench of alcohol and cigarettes wafted through the enclosed space.

Your eyes flickered towards the skyline scattered with stars; it was unusual in a congested city, where the illumination was normally dimmed by pollution that had been infecting any semblance of nature. But you guessed their tenacity must have been too potent not to shine.

You blinked and moved your gaze to the phone clenched in your hand, the minutes ticking by as your screen glowed. You were about to skip the song that was blasting in your headphones, but a notification caught your attention.

You reluctantly pressed it, and when the chain popped up you saw that Yuji had messaged you.

LIL YUJI

10 MARCH 18:42

Hey doc you on your way?

You huffed out an airy laugh at the text. He would never let go of the ridiculous nickname he had endowed you with.

Your thumbs hovered over the screen as you swallowed, disparate responses bouncing through the walls of your mind, none of them settling.

Your thumbs moved without instruction as you typed:

Hey I’m not feeling the best maybe another day :)

The text cursor blinked at you whilst you decided whether or not to hit reply. Your eyebrows scrunched up, and you bit the skin at your bottom lip in thought, but another part of your brain took over, and you hit the delete key, retyping the text and hitting send without hesitation.

YOU

10 MARCH 18:44

Yeah i’m on the bus i’ll get there soon :)

His reply buzzed a second after.

LIL YUJI

10 MARCH 18:44

YAAAAY

WILL SEE YOU SOON

A strangled breath caught in your chest, turning your phone off and shoving it deep into your pocket. At the front of the bus the display wavered, shifting to show your stop. The vehicle slowed to a halt, and you shuffled through the aisle.

The soles of your sneakers landed onto rough concrete, and a breath of chilled wind touched your skin, goosebumps rising.

The bus rumbled behind you as it departed. You had come to this stop more times than you could count, but for reasons you wished not to divulge, an unsettling feeling crawled up your spine.

You stepped forward on muscle memory alone, watching the space exist absently. The street had lost its source of protection, the sun had departed from its duty, leaving the area dusky, with no real light penetrating the space.

The only glow came from the abundant windows of the apartments and houses, and some tired orange streetlights that stood high.

The sidewalk had a few residents dotted along it as they walked to their destination, but it lacked any life or character. It was farther from the city's main part, an area designed for functionality rather than for those seeking a nesting sanctuary. Where rent was cheap, but felt hollow and lifeless.

Your footsteps were almost sluggish, as if you were trying to delay the journey, but nothing within could force the habitual skipping or speed walking. That urge seemed to have depleted.

The familiar, towering red-brick building loomed ahead, with small windows decked across, some bright and some covered by curtains. An independent lamppost stood in front, the bulb twitching, clear signs of its near termination.

A heavy locked door sat between you and the apartment complex as the buzzer echoed. The door opened with urgency, almost immediately after you pressed their doornumber button.

Inside the choice was essentially instinctive, stairs over the elevator. Mounting ten flight of stairs felt safer for your thumping pulse. It was like hiking a phrosphised trail, the result were inevitable despite your decisions. The bubble of excitement was awaiting behind the door, and it would pop from your arrival.

The ascension to their apartment wasn’t smooth, not that there would be any other outcome; your shoulders rose to your ears, chest falling and rising in short beats from breathlessness.

You gripped the cold metal railing at the top of the stairs, trying to control your breaths, trying to ease the exhaustion that sat in your bones. But manual breathing wouldn’t resolve that, so you just dragged a sweat-ridden hand across your face.

The row of apartment doors were arranged with no desire to stand out; each door had been constructed by the same polished wood and brass; the only difference being the ascending numbers.

Your footsteps slowed as you reached number 1003. The buffed number gaped at you; wanting to turn on your heel, but a fist hovered in the air order, ready to knock.

Before the knuckles could even touch the wood, the door burst open so harshly that the wind dried out your tongue.

Not even seconds had passed until two arms tightly wrapped around your shoulders and a head nuzzled into the crook of your shoulder, causing your brows to raise in an arch and lips to part.

Your shock melted as you looked down to see soft, messy strands of light pink hair. A small smile formed on your lips, the kind that grew without obligation and awareness. His grip tightened, like he didn’t trust you were really there.

After a moment, your arms wrapped around him, returning his affection. He was warm and smelled like freshly baked cookies, soft in a way that couldn’t be replicated.

You looked up, and in your eyeline, Choso, the older of the two, stood behind the door. His obsidian locks touched his shoulders, and a gentle smile stained his lips, expression serene.

Eventually, Yuji unwrapped his arms from you and stood up straight. He had grown even taller in the months that had passed, but from your eyes tracing his features, the bubbly boy within him hadn’t altered.

His grin was bright, teeth shining underneath the fluorescent hallway lights. A comfortable silence had stretched since your arrival, just flickering your gaze between the brothers with a bundle of ease, something that didn’t flow through your veins but had now kindled within your concrete walls.

“Yuji at least let her come in before attacking her with a hug.” Choso teased lightly, stepping closer to ruffle his hair.

Yuji raised his brows as if a thought had struck him. He then swept his arms to the door, dramatically extending them as if he was completing a magic trick.

“Please enter Miss.” His voice turned theatrically posh.

You moved one foot behind the other, bending your knees outwards, and pretended to hold the edges of a skirt, curtseying. “Thank you kind sir.”

Choso had walked into the apartment by the time you stepped in and Yuji shut the door whilst you removed your shoes.

The aged wooden floorboards whined under your padded footsteps, feet moving in a steady, unhurried rhythm to map the room with heavy eyes.

The living room hadn’t changed at all, not that it would in the short span of time, but time didn’t seem relative to you in that moment.

The plush, pale green couches were decorated in the same mismatched pillows, one of them being a fluffy pink one that you purchased because it reminded you of Yuji’s hair.

The dinosaur rug that sat in the middle of the room still held faint stains from old game nights, and the indoor plants scattered around the place seemed to have bloomed, their leaves more vividly green.

“How do you get taller but younger at the same time?” You tilted your head to the side and let out an impromptu laugh once you both stood in the middle of the room.

You then leaned in to pinch his cheek between your fingers; he winced in response, a scowl forming on his face as he rubbed the pained spot.

The hand fell back at your side as the faint smile tugged your lips. The dense tension that clutched your back loosened, in a way it never did anywhere else.

“When will you stop doing that?” He grumbled, but his tone was nothing but jovial.

“Never.” You raised your pointer finger and swished it back and forth in amusement. “Not until you stop poking my forehead.”

You plopped yourself down on the plush fabric, shoes abandoned by the doorstep, and Yuji followed, sprawling onto the pillows beside you.

The floorboards creaked softly under Choso’s footsteps as he walked over. Yuji had sunk deep into the throw cushions, his back pressed against the couch, legs sprawled out in front of him, head tipped backwards in relaxation.

You curled into the corner beside him, peering at his relaxed demeanour for a moment. Then Choso was standing in front of the sofa, his arms crossed and hair tied back into a low bun.

“Don’t get too comfortable, guys.” Choso spoke, looking down at both of you. “You’re both on vegetable chopping duty.”

Yuji let out a dramatic groan, flinging an arm over his face. “Ughh…why can’t I do something else. I hate chopping vegetables.” He lifted his head and looked at his brother, pursing his lips in annoyance.

“Because last time you tried to cook something, you set shin ramen on fire,” Choso replied with a deadpan expression.

You snorted. “How did you manage to do that?”

“It said on the instructions that I had to heat it up. And that’s what I did.” He turned his head to face you, his voice assured.

Choso rolled his eyes, then shook his head once. “He didn’t even add water, just put it in the microwave.”

An unrestrained laugh left your lips, a hand covering your mouth. “Why didn’t you add water?”

The pink-haired boy's brows furrowed. “I added it after. Wait, was I supposed to heat it up before? No wonder it didn’t taste good…” He pressed a finger on his lips in genuine shock.

You and Choso just looked at each other, dumbfounded by the boy. Choso sighed and didn’t respond to his epiphany but just pressed his fingers against his temple as if he was holding back a headache.

“I’m not even gonna entertain this right now. Both of you in the kitchen. Now.” He uttered.

“Okay, boss.” You said in an amused tone, whilst standing up. Yuji reluctantly got up, trudging toward the kitchen.

A warm yellow glow poured throughout the kitchen, wrapping the room in a sense of comfort. The cluttered counters sat beneath the spotlight, the area overtaken by uneven piles of various vegetables, a cutting board in the middle, and three knives circling it.

“Why are there so many…why do we need this many?” Yuji complained, poking a mushroom with the tip of a knife.

“Because we are cooking real food, not instant ramen,” Choso said flatly, tying the strings of his apron behind his back.

“Pfffft.” You stifled a laugh as your eyes traced the front of his apron. Yuji immediately looked up at the sound and peered at the sight, a loud wheeze leaving his lungs.

A hard line grew on Choso’s forehead from confusion as he stared at both of you blankly. “What?”

You pointed at his apron as another chuckle slipped past your lips. “Look at your apron.”

Choso frowned slightly and glanced down at himself, eyes landing on the bikini silhouette at the front, matching the baby bikini top and bottom where his body was.

His expression didn’t change. “What about it?”

Yuji wheezed even louder, gripping the edge of the granite counter. “You said you’d never wear that again!”

“You bought it,” Choso replied nonchalantly.

You placed your hand on top of your mouth, trying to prevent the inevitable giggles from leaving your lips, but it was difficult when Yuji was howling with laughter.

“It was funny.” Yuji eventually replied through the burst of his laughter.

He took a few breaths, calming himself, but his pink-stained cheeks remained prominent. Signs of real life were prevalent within his being; his laughter was so soft and free. It was enough for your heart to pool something you rejected from a time before you could fathom, envy was lurking by the doorstep, with nothing but wrath.

“It still is.” You muttered, holding in another laugh as you picked up one of the knives.

Choso let out a slow breath through his nose, but the crinkles of his mouth settled for a moment, like a smile was itching to surface.

“It was the only clean one.” He slyly rolled his eyes, then pushed the cutting board closer to you, with an expression that only stern elders held.

“Don’t lie, I know you just wanted to wear it.” Yuji snickered, nudging you with his elbow whilst puckering his brows.

Choso ignored his words and walked to the stove, prepping the chicken that he had just taken out of the fridge.

“Leave Cho alone, he just wants to match with Andrea.” You mumbled as you began to chop a carrot with your head down.

“Andrea?” Yuji questioned, pausing for a moment. “Ohhh is she the one he keeps calling mommy???”

You paused, knife in hand, mid- air, then you slowly turned toward Choso.

When you peered at him, his pale cheeks were stained bright red, a shade you didn’t know existed and his lips were parted like he was caught in something undeniable.

“I..I just..” He looked down at the tiles below, jaw tight. “....Sometimes I like it when someone else’s in charge.” He eventually blurted out.

“Makes sense.” You hummed, holding a knowing look.

Yuji just stared at him with a look of disgust, grimacing. “I don’t wanna know about that…part of your life.” He gagged, pretending to throw up.

“You’re the one who started talking about it!” Choso narrowed his eyes at him with a light scowl, not one of anger but just slight annoyance.

“I thought it was a joke…” His younger brother rubbed the back of his neck, uttering under his breath.

“Just get back to chopping.” Choso shook his head, his tone dropping to his calmer demeanour.

Yuji rolled his eyes and turned back to start on the task at hand. He grabbed a carrot from the bowl and inspected it between his fingers.

“Jeez someone’s mad,” Yuji muttered, speaking to no one in particular. “Andrea not doing her job right.”

An unrestrained laugh spilled through your lips before you could hold it back.

Choso immediately turned around and lightly hit the back of Yuji’s head. “Do your job before you’re fired.”

“Please fire me, I don’t wanna cut these gross vegetables.” He begged, clasping his hands as if in prayer.

“If you’re fired, you can’t eat,” Choso stated, turning back around as another sigh left him.

You giggled under your breath, nudging Yuji to face you, who snorted, then covered his mouth to contain any laughter. Muffled laughter bounced across the walls and right into Choso’s eardrums.

“I hear a lot of laughing and not enough chopping.” The dark-haired man spoke out, his voice an octave louder than your laughter.

“Fine….” You gripped the handle of the knife and began to cut thin slices of a mushroom.

Yuji stared down at the vegetables in the bowl and pouted, arms at his sides. “Ughh, I don’t wanna.” He mumbled under his breath.

“You have to,” Choso said behind him as he was seasoning the chicken pieces.

The pink-haired boy huffed out a frustrated sigh, gripping the carrot between his fingers with some disgust, like it had personally offended him.

He sliced through the vegetables harshly, eyes narrowed as if he were entering a state of focus.

Choso turned on the speaker sitting in the corner of the kitchen, and the soft sounds of indie music drifted through the air. The soft thuds of the knife against the chopping board added to the melody, like a strange, calming beat.

For the duration of a song, no one spoke, the gentle warmth of the room settling around you. Like it had done from the dozens of moments you cooked in that kitchen.

This time, the quietude wasn’t drawn from pure routine and attunement; it dragged slightly, like the screech of a lead pencil against paper. It held guarded curiosity and concern that pricked at your skin.

“So….you haven’t been here in a while.” Yuji’s voice filled the air, cutting through the mute atmosphere as harshly as he chopped.

Your hand stilled for a fraction of a second before continuing. “I’ve just been busy.”

Yuji looked up from his position, knife between his fingers, staring at the top of your head as you chopped. “You always say that.” He spoke, voice edged with a whine of a toddler.

“Because I always am.”

Yuji stood still beside you, but you could feel his gaze burn into you, like his thoughts were attempting to crystallise. “It’s not just about work, is it?” He gently probed.

“Yuji.” You heard Choso utter, his voice was quiet, almost a whisper, but the weight of it was enough to land in his brother's head.

“I was just asking.” Yuji frowned, facing away from you to begin cutting another poor carrot.

“Not like that,” Choso stated, like a warning.

Yuji gripped the handle more firmly, reluctantly pressing his knife into the vegetable, his movements harsher and more disorganised.

The previous chatter subsided between the three of you, the room growing quiet. But it was searing, like his restrained words finally broke the surface, and the world didn’t know how to handle its unpredictability.

You lifted your head slowly to look at his ruffled pink hair and his hunched shoulders as your chest rose from heavy breaths.

“I’m here now, though.” The knife slipped from your fingers to rest on the counter whilst your voice travelled through the air.

Choso turned his head over his shoulder for a second before he fully turned his body toward you. His arms crossed over his chest as the chicken sizzled in the pan.

A new wave of savoury scents whirled around you. His cooking was always comforting; a meal from his efforts was far tastier than anything you could create.

“You look exhausted. Have you been sleeping?” He asked, glancing at you, his gaze wasn’t infiltrating, just steady.

“Yeah, I have, works just been rough.” You replied, your words even so that countering wasn’t needed.

Choso briefly flicked his eyes around the room like an answer was hidden behind one of the closed cabinets. But it didn’t seem as though he found anything.

“You already said that.” His straight, thick brows raised into an arch, and his expression moulded into one of cognisance.

You didn’t feed into his heed, just forcing a small smile on your lips. He hummed, knowing it was a losing battle and moved his gaze to his younger brother, whose attention had shifted to the pile of chopped vegetables in your bowl.

“Yours look so different.” He squinted at the pieces, poking one of them with his finger, then glancing at his pile.

The vegetables he attempted to chop were spread across his board and the counter; each piece was unique, with uneven sizes and shapes. He tried to cut them into triangles and circles, as if they were his own masterpiece.

Choso stepped to stand between the two of you and let out an exhausted sigh. “What is this?” He asked his brother, who looked up at him and huffed out a nervous laugh.

“My creation.” Yuji smiled, bright teeth glinting under the soft overhead lights.

Choso picked up a piece of one of the chopped carrots, holding it between his fingers, then looked back at the rest, then held his palm in the air to signal he wanted the knife passed over.

“I’ll finish the rest, just go watch over the chicken and noodles.” He spoke softly.

“Fine…” Yuji hummed, reluctantly passing Choso the knife even though he initially didn’t even want to help.

Choso took over Yuji’s position, the handle of the knife sat more naturally between his fingers, and his focus quickly shifted to cutting the vegetables. Obsidian stray hairs stuck to his forehead, and some loose strands fell from his bun as he nimbly chopped.

The last mushroom waited on your chopping board, and you cut a thin slice, but as you began to move your hand, a loud siren wailed outside, the sound cutting through the thick apartment walls.

Your hand stilled, knife hovering in the now suffocating air. You swallowed the twinge of ache that was beginning to simmer at the back of your throat as your shoulders and muscles tightened without you realising.

The sound grew even louder as the ambulance rushed past the building, the high-pitched noise slipping past the crack of the window as you squeezed your eyes shut for a second.

Choso gently placed the knife on the counter, and you felt his sharp eyes attempting to decipher you.

“You good?” His voice was lighter than the wafts of steam that simmered from the stove, but you could sense his worry that always sat between his words.

You looked up with the corner of your lips lifted. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

He blinked down at you for a few moments, no emotion crystallising on his features. “You’re very bad at hiding, you know.” He treaded carefully, “You don’t have to pretend.” He added, as if he were requesting something so painless.

You inhaled a breath that was tangled with the savoury aroma and perturbation.

Of whose? You didn’t want to know.

“I’m not.” Tone more airy and melancholic than you intended.

Your words seemed to stir something in his mind as his dark brows knitted together and laced the wooden handle between his fingers, and he began chopping the remaining vegetables.

You looked down at your hands that were beginning to crack from the lack of true attention, but instead of dwelling on it, you gathered the chopped pieces from the cutting board and placed them into the bowl resting on the counter, layers of colour piled up.

You held the bowl between your hands and brought it over to Yuji, who was flipping the grilled chicken in the pan; the gas had been off for a while.

You cleared your throat for him to finally sense your presence beside him, as his focus was intense for someone cooking basically nothing.

“You know the gas is off?” You spoke up, cutting through the daydream he resided in.

The boy snapped his head at you, then looked down at the stove, but there was no flame glinting. He groaned and shook his head, a deep scowl forming on his face.

A string of giggles left your lips from seeing his expression. “You look like a sad puppy.” You teased.

His frown soon shifted into a smile, as if annoyance was something he couldn’t truly feel. Choso walked over toward the two of you and grinned at Yuji.

“Did you not see that there was no flame?....” He spoke with a bemused look.

Yuji’s smile was short-lived as his lips turned into a small pout as he stared at the hob. “No…..” His shoulders slumped. “I thought it was just so high that it became invisible…”

You snorted from the shock of his words, and Choso spewed out a laugh from a mix of disbelief and amusement.

“You need to recap basic chemistry.” You patted his shoulder, your words mixed in with the remaining laughter that bubbled from your stomach.

He lightly rolled his eyes. “At least I tried.”

Choso offered him a sympathetic look, patting his head. “Yes, you did,” almost sounding sincere, “Now go set up the table so none of us gets salmonella.”

You suppressed another laugh from rising, your hand placed over your lips, but it sputtered through.

Yuji pointed at you gleefully. “That was a real laugh.”

Your arms fell at your sides, head cocked to the side as your nose scrunched up in confusion. “I do laugh.”

“Yeah, but not like that.” His glee turned into something more sombre, like he was brushing against something that could burn. “Not lately…” His voice lowered, but it was clear enough for everyone to hear.

The whisper of his words didn’t ease the prickling sensation that began to stab at your skin. It was like the most delicate parts of your anatomy had decided to expose themselves as your body felt a rawness that only happened when fear lurked at the back of your mind.

Your hand gripped the cold counter, as if it would be enough to cut the growing suffocation in the room; it was subtle to the world around, but you could feel your fingers tighten.

“Yuji.” Choso stated simply, glancing at you apologetically, but you knew that his expression was only compensation for something too close to the truth.

“Sorry….” Yuji rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

You shook your head dismissively, shrugging off the pins dragging across your open skin. “It’s okay, don’t worry.”

The tension didn’t stretch for long; it never really did with them.

Choso clapped his hands together and glanced between the two of you. “Let’s finish cooking, please, or I’ll get hangry soon.”

Yuji raised his brows, mumbling under his breath. “You always are.”

You crossed your arms over your chest as you raised a brow. “Says you.”

He scoffed at your comment, but ironically, he grabbed a piece of the chopped carrots from the pile and tossed it straight into his mouth without thought.

You and Choso turned your heads to face each other and sighed. Yuji grabbed another piece right after, and once he tried to reach his third, you smacked his hand away from the bowl.

“Ow, what was that for?” He winced, recoiling his hand away, then clutching his hand dramatically.

You leaned your hip onto the counter. “You’re gonna eat all the food before it's even cooked.”

“You’ve gotten even meaner since the last time you came.” He mumbled, still clutching his hand as if he had a serious injury.

“You’ve gotten dumber.”

Choso let out an audible sigh, rubbing his temple with his fingers, clearly sick of the pettiness nature you and his brother possessed.

“You’re both annoying, what about that?” He muttered whilst stirring the vegetables in the pan, the sizzling of the oil growing louder.

“But you still love us.” Yuji stuck his tongue out at him, then leaned in closer to pinch his cheek.

Choso hummed, a small smile playing on his lips, as you and Yuji continued to bicker nonsensically.

Eventually, Yuji went to set up the table for you to supervise, and Choso finished cooking the noodle stir-fry, which should have taken a quarter of the time it did. The aroma of the various sauces and seasonings filled the apartment.

The table was small, but the chairs were soft and worn in; the seating arrangement was always the same, like it had been set in stone. You sat on one side, and Yuji and Choso on the other.

Choso placed the pan in the middle of the table before he took his seat, curls of steam twisting in the air.

“Don’t touch it yet, it's still hot.” He stated, even though his words wouldn’t reach the intended ears.

Yuji’s mind had clearly wandered off as his hand was reaching the pan, and you slapped his hand away again, like swatting a fly.

“Ow! Why are you so abusive today?” He glared at you, but his eyes never held any contempt.

“Because you don’t listen.”

Choso chuckled under his breath, passing you a pair of chopsticks. For a moment, it was like the months hadn’t drifted without transformation, like the tranquillity in the room was weightless.

Yuji raised his hands in the air. “Wait before we eat.” He exclaimed, then you and Choso both turned your attention to him. “Let’s say one thing we are grateful for.” He added, smiling brightly.

You grimaced, “Hell no.”

“We aren’t doing that.” Choso shook his head immediately.

The pink-haired boy pouted dramatically, his eyes looking more puppy-like. “Pleaaaaaseeeeee.” He pleaded.

You couldn’t help but smile at him, letting out a small laugh at his antics. Choso wasn’t as easily convinced, just ignoring him and giving him a deadpan expression.

“Fine.” You placed your head in your palm, still smiling. “I’m grateful for Cho cooking us a delicious meal.” You nodded once at the mentioned man.

“We don’t know if it's good yet.” Yuji immediately replied.

Choso took the empty plate that was sitting in front of Yuji as a form of retaliation, moving it to the empty spot next to you. “Then you’re not getting any.”

Yuji’s lips parted, and he tried to grab the plate, but you grabbed it before he could, holding it tightly as Yuji tried to snatch it from you like you were in a game of tug of war.

“Give it back!”

Your grip on the plate was firm, but Yuji’s strength was something you never expected, as you put in all your might, but he grabbed it and held it up in the air as a form of victory, cheesing brightly.

“Loser.” He quipped, sticking his tongue at you.

You rolled your eyes in amusement. “You’re strong, I gotta give it to you.”

He placed the plate back down gently. “Not as strong as Todo, though.” Humble as always.

You raised your brows in response, and he turned his attention to his brother beside him, staring at him silently with his hands interlocked into one another, his elbows sinking into the oak.

“What?” The black-haired man looked at him in confusion.

“What are you grateful for?” He asked again, voice sweeter and softer.

Choso flickered his gaze at you for a second before looking back at him. “I’m grateful we’re all here together again.” He smiled softly, glancing between the two of you.

You smiled back, and Yuji beamed, staring right at you. “I’m grateful that you came today.”

Their words settled in the air like something soft but prominent, like fresh snow on a cold day; it was hard to ignore.

The sounds of dishes and cutlery clashing filled the room. Choso took your plate first and filled it with the stir-fry as he told you to eat without adding pressure to his statement.

Yuji grabbed the tongs from the pan the second after his brother put them back, piling his plate with the food, the aroma of garlic and soy sauce travelled to your nostrils.

The first bite burnt his tongue, clearly not learning his lesson. He downed his glass of ice-cold water and took yours. Once he had finished his, he grabbed yours and finished that as well.

“That’s what you get for not listening.” You held the wooden chopsticks between your fingers, blowing on the noodles between them to cool them down.

“You alright?” Choso looked at the boy beside him, who had finally calmed down. He nodded and started blowing air onto the whole plate instead of individual pieces.

You watched him in disbelief as you chewed. The flavours were familiar and comforting, as with all his meals. Even if vast amounts of time could pass, you could always recognise his meals.

“This is so good, thank you for making dinner Cho.” You uttered softly.

Choso titled his forehead once with a closed eye smile, not responding through words, but he never needed to.

“..So what have you been up to Yuji.” You turned your focus back to the younger brother and saw that his mouth was stuffed, cheeks all puffed up.

He swallowed before speaking, thankfully so no food sputtered across the table. “I’m doing anatomy and fitness health right now, it’s so hard I don’t get anything.” He confessed.

Your elbow sank into the wood as you held the chopsticks up in the air. “I can tutor you if you want, I’m not sure about fitness, but I can deffo teach anatomy.”

His eyes lit up, twinkling under the overhead lights. “Really?! I would love that, thank you.”

A breathy giggle fell from your lips, then you peered at Choso with your lips pursed. “Have you not asked Cho for help? He’s a nurse…”

Yuji rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he nervously laughed, and Choso exhaled an exhausted breath.

“Last time I tried to tutor him he fell asleep, don’t think it’s the best idea.” Choso remarked.

“Sorry….” Yuji muttered in embarrassment, his head low as he gathered the noodles with his chopsticks.

A few moments of quiet ripened, your bites were starting to shrink in size, even though more than three-quarters of your plate was filled.

Yuji had almost finished his meal in the short time that had passed, and you were not picking the noodles with the sticks. Choso flickered his gaze to you in short bursts. You could sense that something was manifesting on his tongue, but he didn’t let anything trickle down yet.

Yuji looked up and shifted his attention to you. “....So how's the group counselling thing going?” He hesitantly asked.

Your hand paused, blinking at him with no readable expression. Choso glanced at him from the corner of his eye but didn’t intervene.

“It’s going good.” You replied after a moment, voice steady to avoid raising suspicion.

Yuji nodded, but it clearly didn’t satisfy his curiosity about the matter. “What do you do there?”

You drifted your eyes off absently, not looking at anything in particular, like it would free you. “They ask questions and stuff.”

“What kinda questions?” He peered at you with his inquisitive eyes, like his words were nothing but comments on the weather.

A huff of breath spilt through your nose, almost resembling a laugh that wasn’t given permission.

“About her.”

The word collided with the mirage of placidity surrounding you. You didn’t even need to define her identity, as it already carried a weight far too heavy for your tongue.

You registered the room at a distance as your eyes focused on the empty pan that adorned the table. “They ask me to talk about how I feel, how I’m dealing with it.” You continued unable to see their reactions, but the gravity from the silence and their attentive gaze was enough.

“...But I don’t think I actually feel anything.”

You looked up to see Yuji watching you with a solemn expression, with pity so intense it poured over you in waves. You despised it, despised the piteous swirls in his irises and how it made you feel pathetic, like you’re drowning in the sea instead of trying to keep afloat.

Choso studied you as his hands gripped the wood, fingers slowly tightening. He could see through the prevarications as if staring into an unstained glass.

Yuji bit the inside of his cheek in thought, succumbing to an internal debate. “Do you think it’s helping?” He asked after a beat.

You blinked at him, feeling your mind trying to create a puzzle with missing pieces. “..I’m not sure yet, I’ve only been to two sessions.”

The answer might not have held the substance they valued, but it was the only thing you could endow them with.

Yuji swallowed the remaining noodles from his plate, his expression settling before he spoke. “She’d be happy that you’re going, though.” He said, absentmindedly, like it was obvious.

Your brows drew together, and muscles taunted, feeling caught off guard by his observations, carefully letting go of the chopsticks in your fingers.

“She always used to say that you never talked about things properly.” He added, with a small smile, as if he were reminiscing about a fond memory. “Remember?”

No hint of deceit lingered in his words; you knew what he was referencing and that it wasn’t even incorrect. But it still pricked at your open nerves, it still twisted the muscles in your gut, it still pained you. That was the problem.

Choso’s eyes darted toward his brother for a second, his look unreadable, but you could detect his premonition.

A sharp ache tingled at the back of your throat, and you parted your lips before any evaluation was conducted.

“Don’t.” You said sharply, too quickly.

Yuji’s eyes slightly widened, taken aback. “I was jus-.”

“Don’t say anything.” Your voice cracked; any steadiness you might have had dissipated.

Your head dropped, staring at the plate, but the lines and edges blurred, like a fog interrupted your senses. Your vision was unfocused, as if the time on the present land were nothing but a fallacy, and you were being transported to your own haven.

A newfound silence magnified in the dimly lit room, and the unprotected enigmas that had been dusted under the rug were now starting to expose themselves, straining the confines of your mind.

You couldn’t tell if a shield of glass took over your corneas, so you just squeezed them shut, wanting to disappear within the blackness.

“She’s not here to say that anymore.” You muttered under your breath, but the waves of sound bounced across their eardrums, enough to settle.

Finality was truly the foe of the pious, the end goal of all life that could never be refuted or debated. Your harsh words were a reminder that as the devout clasped their hands in veneration, demise had already infected the estranged spirits. No one was excluded from destiny.

Your hands lay on the table, fingers fidgeting with the stray cutlery to stabilise your heartbeat.

A strained airy laugh left your lips, quick and hollow. “So it doesn’t really matter anymore.”

It wasn’t comical; you knew it wasn’t, but you didn’t know how else to react when the sharp ache that was tingling in your throat started to move down to the pit of your stomach, every organ in your body feeling foreign to the claws of disarray.

“I- I’m trying, I’m speaking, I’m trying to do everything I can.” You blurted out too fast, voice cracking. “I’m doing what I’m supposed to do…”

You paused for a moment, chest rising and falling faster. “But I just can’t feel anything….”

Your jaw tightened, teeth clenching as your hands balled into tight fists; control was slipping from you without choice, and that was harder to fathom than your eyes blurring and burning, and your stomach twisting into knots. Why was control the requirement for survival?

The two brothers sat frozen in their seats, just watching your eyes glisten, not from their humour or comfort but from your own torment.

Yuji couldn’t sit and watch you tremble, so he reached out with some hesitancy, unsure if you would recoil and pull away. His warm hand rested on top of your fist, holding you in place.

You didn’t move, letting his hand sit there.

You looked up to see his eyes, widened and softened at the edges, a light sheen covering them, but they didn’t hold the pity you detested. They held the kind of care that you didn’t know how to return.

Choso flickered his dark eyes to your hands; his pale hand moved to sit atop Yuji’s, firmer, steadier, grounding you silently.

The corners of your mouth rose faintly, not obvious to the plain eye but obvious to the ones sitting opposite you.

You said you couldn’t feel, but a kindle of something unnamed seeped through the cracks of your joints; it wasn’t warmth, it wasn’t comfort.

Presence.

Something that refused to be ignored, no matter how tightly your eyes were sewn shut.

Your fingers loosened before you could stop them, and instead of pulling away, you curled them over theirs.

PICK UP THE PIECES THAT YOU BELIEVED NEVER EXISTED.

A/N:

i hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, please let me know your thoughts hehe

Please like and comment I would love to hear your thoughts!

Please comment if you would like to be added to the taglist

TAGLIST: @anothergojostan @nnlover-789 @cozyunderworld

ꜰᴀɴᴀʀᴛ: 3-ᴀᴇᴍ ᴏɴ x/ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ

Trending Blogs

Last Seen Blogs

Cozy.U