coyotegore

written by someone who had absolutely no idea what would happen when getting their wisdom teeth removed

(note that i didn’t have whatever anesthetic they use in the States that makes you behave like a four-year-old at daycare who was accidentally given alcohol, so effects might differ there) (also, i got all 4 removed at once. you may have less pain and different prescriptions when you get fewer teeth removed, and you will also have a different healing process.)

- try not to schedule an appointment in the summer. I know that’s when the big holidays are for students, but you will be confined to your bed and that really isn’t fun on very hot days. - on that same note, don’t go tanning, and try to stay out of direct sunlight for long stretches at a time. i don’t know why, that’s what my doctor told me. - make sure that you have pain killers at home before yo go to your appointment - if the doctor offers to prescribe you painkillers, probably take the prescription. especially if he names a brand and its a different one than you have at home. - my doctor also prescribed me antibiotics, so make sure you get everything he says for you to get - seriously, that’s not a joke. if the wound festers/ gets infected, you will have to swallow the pus thats in the wound. do not recommend. - when you get home, you will probably have about one or two hours before the anesthetic wears off. as soon as you feel the first pain, take a painkiller - now, this is important: do not try to be economic with the painkillers. when you feel the pain come back and think “oh, i just took a pill an hour ago, i’ll probably be fine for another hour”, take another pill, you will not be fine for another hour. - you should probably take painkillers regularly for at least 2 days after the procedure. that’s when the pain will be the worst. - your face will swell and be discolored and you will look really stupid. laugh about it, because laughing is the best medicine. but don’t laugh too much because it will probably hurt. - you will probably not be able to fully close your mouth (as in your upper teeth touch your lower teeth) for at least 4 days after the operation. - that means that you will probably drool, even after the anesthetic has worn off. cover your pillow with a towel and keep tissues nearby - saliva (spit) production increases a lot during the next days, but swallowing might hurt. try to keep a cup nearby to spit into. - there will be blood in your spit, and you will occasionally taste blood. this is no reason to be alarmed (unless its exclusively blood and its there all the time. in that case you should probably call a doctor). spit it out and move on. - if you feel like the blood becoming a bit more than it should (a BIT), take a gauze or cut off a piece of a bandage (not a plaster) and stick it over the wound. try to bite down on it for 30 minutes. - then throw the gauze away. don’t re-use it. - you won’t be able to talk clearly during the first day after the operation. lots of phone calls are not a good idea, the other person won’t understand you. - you will also not be able to chew anything until all of the swelling is gone, and probably until the doctor has removed the stitches. make sure you have a supply of soup or baby-food at home (seriously: get something you can drink with a straw.) - this is not a challenge. don’t try to chew anything. food will get caught in the wound and may even open your stitches. stick to liquids. - you can try to squash things with your tongue around the third day, if you’re getting bored of liquid food. bananas or strawberries should be fine here. be careful not to let it touch the wound, though - don’t drink fizzy drinks. i know the cold soda in the fridge is calling your name, but resist it. it will hurt. its promises are lies. - what i can recommend to drink is cooled down (not necessarily cold but do what you gotta do) chamomile tea. it has anti-bacterial properties. rinse your mouth with that or water after every meal. - yes, even the liquid ones. rinse your mouth, you don’t want food getting stuck back there. - for people with significant others who love making out: don’t. it’s probably already obvious but i’ll say it here just in case. - you probably won’t be able to brush your teeth (because you cant open your mouth). if you can, be VERY careful around the wounds. try not to go near them. - i know it might feel gross, but that’s why you rinse your mouth. - you will probably spend at least 3 days in bed. do not schedule wisdom teeth removals around important deadlines, because you won’t be able to get anything done in those 3 days. just trust me on this. - have good entertainment at your disposal. books should probably be a second choice because your head will hurt a lot, you may not be able to look down because of the pain. Netflix or Youtube are ideal. lose yourself in slime tutorials. - if you live with other people or nosy neighbors, make sure you have headphones. you may wake up repeatedly throughout the night and not fall back asleep until painkillers kick in (or not fall asleep at all). inner-ear headphones would probably be best since outer-ears may put pressure on your head, and that will hurt. - the swelling will start to go down around day 4 after the operation. you will probably still look stupid. you will also probably have bruises on your jaw and maybe under your eyes. if you want, you can prank people into thinking you got beaten up - for everyone obsessed with their skin-care routine; you will probably not be able to do it, or at least only partially for a few days. touching your face will hurt, and i’m not sure that it’s worth it for the moisturizer - put ice on your face. get something that you can stick in the freezer (i have no idea what the English name for the thing is but here’s a picture:

I think this is what it says? It never really focuses, so this is the best I can do. If anyone wants to decode this... I mean, I can’t, I’m terrible at that stuff, but go nuts xD 

Anti’s back.

Daroga: Oh, um, you know. Because we're friends.

Raoul: Why?

Daroga: Wow, you ask really hard questions. Look, I know he can be aggravating, but you have to remember he's not doing it on purpose. It's just how he is. Oh, but he's also loyal and trustworthy, and we have fun together.

Raoul: You know you're describing a dog.

Daroga: He DID bite me once. But in his defense, I came up behind him while he was eating.