COURTOFMUSES

Hello all. Just wanted to quickly update you and let you know that I'm still alive but I haven't been on Tumblr recently because there's a lot of stuff going on in my personal life, work life, and Tumblr and the ST rpc in general have just caused me a lot of unnecessary stress and drama than I need.

After the last stint with they who shall not be named, I just have little desire to be here or write these characters at the moment. I'm truly sorry to everyone who I was writing with. I may come back to this blog sooner rather than later (tumblr always seems to suck me back in after awhile) but for now I just have to step away. If you have my Discord already (I will not be giving it out to anyone else at this moment) then please feel free to come talk to me. <3

Hello all. Just wanted to quickly update you and let you know that I'm still alive but I haven't been on Tumblr recently because there's a lot of stuff going on in my personal life, work life, and Tumblr and the ST rpc in general have just caused me a lot of unnecessary stress and drama than I need.

After the last stint with they who shall not be named, I just have little desire to be here or write these characters at the moment. I'm truly sorry to everyone who I was writing with. I may come back to this blog sooner rather than later (tumblr always seems to suck me back in after awhile) but for now I just have to step away. If you have my Discord already (I will not be giving it out to anyone else at this moment) then please feel free to come talk to me. <3

Hello all. Just wanted to quickly update you and let you know that I'm still alive but I haven't been on Tumblr recently because there's a lot of stuff going on in my personal life, work life, and Tumblr and the ST rpc in general have just caused me a lot of unnecessary stress and drama than I need.

After the last stint with they who shall not be named, I just have little desire to be here or write these characters at the moment. I'm truly sorry to everyone who I was writing with. I may come back to this blog sooner rather than later (tumblr always seems to suck me back in after awhile) but for now I just have to step away. If you have my Discord already (I will not be giving it out to anyone else at this moment) then please feel free to come talk to me. <3

Hello all. Just wanted to quickly update you and let you know that I'm still alive but I haven't been on Tumblr recently because there's a lot of stuff going on in my personal life, work life, and Tumblr and the ST rpc in general have just caused me a lot of unnecessary stress and drama than I need.

After the last stint with they who shall not be named, I just have little desire to be here or write these characters at the moment. I'm truly sorry to everyone who I was writing with. I may come back to this blog sooner rather than later (tumblr always seems to suck me back in after awhile) but for now I just have to step away. If you have my Discord already (I will not be giving it out to anyone else at this moment) then please feel free to come talk to me. <3

   °˖✧🌹 . Send ’ 🎉 ’ to kiss my muse at midnight on New Years Eve.  . 🌹 ✧˖°  

There’s a warm bubble from champagne in her chest, a sensation that adds to the prickling of her skin. He invited her in a way that felt off hand and casual, like neither of them had seen the horrors of the world, like things were almost normal. It had been enough to ease Chrissy’s mind, to embolden her and she came, has lingered in the background. Handful of interactions, casual conversations with people she’s only ever seen in passing and she’s almost leaving before the countdown. 

               IT   HADN'T   BEEN   HIS   INTENTION   TO   KISS   HER.   Eddie   had   just   noticed   that   she'd   slipped   away,   probably   to   walk   home   by   herself   in   the   dark   and   it   didn't   settle   well   with   him.   He'd   walk   her   home   and   make   sure   she   got   there   safe.   The   kids   were   preoccupied   with   other   things   so   they   didn't   even   noticed   he'd   left.   He   called   out   to   Chrissy   but   she   didn't   hear   him   so   Eddie   jogged   after   her   and   gently   caught   her   elbow   so   she'd   stop   walking.   "Hey,   what's   the   rush?   I'll   walk   with   you.   You   shouldn't   walk   home   alone,"   he   said   with   a   gentle   smile.   Her   apology   had   him   canting   his   head   to   the   side,   wondering   what   exactly   she   was   apologizing   for.   

               A   SENSE   OF   EXCITEMENT   WASHED   OVER   HIM.   Chrissy   was   going   to   come   to   his   house   for   something   other   than   drugs   and   he   was   thrilled.   As   much   as   he   tried   not   to   get   his   hopes   when   it   came   to   @scarednotscary,   he   had   anyway.   He’d   had   a   crush   on   her   since   middle   school   though   her   being   his   girlfriend   had   been   a   pipe   dream.   He’d   moved   on   from   that   middle   school   crush   for   the   most   part   since   he   never   though   he   had   a   chance   in   hell,   but   something   had   fundamentally   shifted   between   them.   They   had   been   brought   together   by   circumstances   he   could   barely   wrap   his   mind   around.   

❝   Oh,   okay.   Great.   Uh…my   uncle’s   working   tonight   so   you   want   to   come   over   around   eight?   I’m   not   much   of   a   cook   but   I   make   pretty   good   mac   and   cheese   if   you   think   you’ll   be   hungry?   ❞   In   the   time   he   spent   with   Chrissy,   he   never   really   saw   her   eat   anything   but   he   never   really   thought   much   of   it.   Girls   were   weird   about   food   sometimes.

☾⋆ ‒‒‒‒‒  The universe had a funny way of working. When she’d been younger she had believed in God because that’s what she had been raised to do, and maybe it had given her some sort of comfort to think that a higher power had a purpose for her, that all the suffering and misery she was going through was going to mean something one day. Chrissy got older. She started thinking for herself, started to question things and one of those questions was why God would make a little girl suffer so much when she’d never so much as hurt a fly? So now? She believed that things just happened for a reason. Vecna tormenting her had lead her to Eddie and in turn she had found happiness in the most unlikely of places.

               IT   WASN'T   HIS   PLACE   TO   PRY   INFORMATION   out   of   anyone   and   especially   not   Chrissy.   Eddie   trusted   her   to   tell   her   when   she   was   upset   about   something   or   if   she   was   struggling.   They   had   formed   a   foundation   of   trust   between   them   that      neither   of   them   seemed   to   have   had   previously.   The   only   time   Eddie   would   ever   attempt   to   get   information   out   of   her   she   wasn't   comfortable   sharing   would   be   if   he   felt   like   she   was   in   danger.   Despite   what   most   people   thought,   he   was   observant   and   he   noticed   small   things   about   people.   Things   that   others   might   overlook   simply   because   he   had   a   tendency   to   hyperfocus.   So   yes,   he   had   noticed   that   Chrissy   didn't   eat   much   but   he   wasn't   sure   why   and   he   was   afraid   of   jumping   to   conclusions.   

❝   Great,   then   eight   it   is.   ❞   Eddie   shook   his   head   with   a   grin.   ❝   Just   your   pretty   self.   I   got   everything   else   covered.   ❞   He   leaned   over   and   kissed   her   cheek   before   they   parted   ways,   already   unable   to   wait   for   the   next   several   hours   to   pass.   

               HE   CAN’T   MOVE   HIS   ARMS   with   the   straight   jacket   in   place,   the   belts   so   tight   around   him   that   he   feels   like   he   can’t   breathe.   He’s   so   tired.   It’s   been   hours   and   hours   since   the   Hyde   finally   retreated   and   it   was   only   Tyler   left.   The   exhaustion   that   follows   being   taken   over   by   the   genetic   nature   passed   onto   him   from   his   mother   leaves   him   practically   limp   against   his   restraints.   He   doesn’t   want   to   move   anyway.   It   takes   too   much   energy.   He’s   barely   able   to   lift   his   eyes   to   the   raven-haired   girl   before   him.   

She’s   going   to   stay.   Tyler   can’t   help   but   feel   a   trill   of   excitement   flutter   in   his   chest.   He   never   wanted   to   hurt   her.   He   likes   @taleswritten.   Laurel   Gates   just   managed   to   fuck   everything   up.   

❝   Do   you   hate   me?   ❞   he   asks   softly.   Even   speaking   seems   to   take   a   lot   of   energy   from   him.   ❝   Please   don’t   hate   me   Wednesday.   It’s   not   my   fault.   I-I   don’t   know   how   to   control   it.   How   to   make   it   stop.   ❞

Is   this   why   they   killed   his   mother?   Because   she   couldn’t   control   the   Hyde   and   it   wasn’t   worth   trying   to   help   or   save   her?   Tyler   may   never   know.

A part of her, deep down within her cold heart, feels bad for him. This was not a life he asked for and he is trapped within that straight jacket like an animal. If she didn’t know any better, if she wasn’t who she was, she thinks she may have let him out by now. Until he can prove to be trustworthy, she will do no such thing.

“Hate you? Hating you implies I care enough to feel such an emotion.” She’ll deny that she does care, that the way things had turned out had stung. She will not admit to such pesky feelings, it is entirely unbecoming of her and not who she is.

               HE   LAUGHS   SOFTLY   AT   HER   FIRST   RESPONSE.   It's   exactly   the   response   he   expected   because   she's   Wednesday   Addams.   Tyler   knows   that   behind   all   the   bravago   and   aloofness   that   she   cares.   If   she   didn't   care   then   she   wouldn't   be   here   with   him.   He   closes   his   eyes   when   she   continues   to   speak,   lamenting   that   she   hates   how   things   turned   out.   ❝   Yeah,   that   makes   two   of   us...❞   he   says   softly.   Imagine   how   he   feels,   strapped   to   a   bed   and   unable   to   move   an   inch.   He's   never   felt   more   like   some   kind   of   caged   animal   than   he   does   now.   

❝   I   never   wanted   to   hurt   anyone,   ❞   he   continues,   his   eyes   remaining   closed   becase   he   can't   look   at   her.   He   can't   stand   to   see   the   disappointment   on   her   face.   ❝   The   Hyde...I   don't   know   how   to   explain   it.   I   don't   know   how   to   convince   myself   that   we're   not   the   same.   ❞   He   doesn't      know   if   they   are   or   if   the   Hyde   is   a   manifestation   of   the   darkest   parts   of   him.   He   wonders   if   Laurel   Gates   had   never   gotten   to   him   if   the   monster   would   have   remained   dormant.   

@courtofmuses / alina

i’ll be getting over you my whole life.

𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐇𝐈𝐌. They shouldn't bother him. That she would wish to get over him at all, it should carry no impact to him. He'd used her for what he needed, and while it could have backfired--

❝ Then I made a lasting impression. ❞ He smirks, with an almost self-knowing, self-satisfied expression crossing his face. ❝ I told you once, Alina. There are no others like us. And there never will be. ❞

She might have clung to her tracker, to her otkazat'sya past that she harbors, but it is false. All of it.

               OH   HE   VERY   MUCH   DID   LEAVE   A   LASTING   IMPRESSION,   one   that   she   knew   would   always   and   forever   be   engraved   onto   her   heart   and   her   mind.   She   couldn't   deny   the   attraction   to   her,   the   very   way   he   made   her   heart   beat   an   entirely   new   rhythm.   As   much   as   she   had   tried   to   deny   those   feelings,   tried   to   transfer   them   onto   Mal,   it   hadn't   worked.   He   was   right   -   there   were   no   others   like   them   and   if   they   did   not   work   together   the   Grisha   may   not   survive.   

❝   You   did   not   have   to   deceive   me,   Aleksander.   That   is   the   part   that   hurts   most,   ❞   she   admitted   softly.   ❝   We   have   all   made   mistakes   in   our   lives,   done   things   we   are   not   proud   of.   You   didn't   have   to   hide   that   from   me.   ❞   Alina   sighed   as   she   moved   away   from   him,   toward   the   window   of   the   room   where   the   light   was   streaming   through.   

                  THE   UTTERANCE   DOESN’T   GO   UNNOTICED   and   Eddie   frowned,   though   before   he   had   the   chance   to   say   anything,   Steve   is   snuggling   into   him,   saying   he   didn’t   want   him   to   leave.   Eddie   wondered   if   he   ought   to   ask   what   the   brunette   meant   by   that,   but   he   also   didn’t   know   if   that   was   prying   in   some   form   or   another.   For   now,   he   chose   to   let   it   go   and   just   make   @kingsnack  feel   more   secure   about   the   fact   he   wasn’t   just   going   to   hit   it   and   quit   it.   He   hadn’t   exactly   planned   to   sleep   with   the   other   man,   but   it   just   sort   of…happened.   It   felt   like   all   the   pieces   were   falling   into   place   and   Eddie   was   loathe   to   mess   it   up.   He   probably   would   since   what   he   did   best   was   be   a   fuck   up.   Maybe   he   could   just   lose   himself   in   the   fantasy   for   awhile   and   worry   about   it   later.   That’d   be   okay,   right?   

❝   Relax,   Harrington,   ❞   he   said   with   a   soft   laugh.   ❝   I   wasn’t   just   gonna   sneak   out   in   the   middle   of   the   night   like   some   douchebag.   You’re   my   pal.   I   think   you   deserve   better   than   that.   ❞   Yeah,   they   were   just   pals.   Pals   who   apparently   were   sleeping   together   now.   

Eddie   turned   on   his   side   so   he   could   face   the   other   man   and   took   hold   of   his   chin,   tipping   Steve’s   face   up   so   he   could   kiss   him   eagerly.   ❝   And   if   you   want   a   round   two,   all   you   gotta   do   is   ask.   ❞

               SOMETIMES   EDDIE   WASN'T   THE   GREATEST   WITH   SOCIAL   CUES.   It   wasn't   that   he   was   being   purposely   oblivious   or   anything,   it   was   simply   that   Eddie   didn't   think   anyone   could   well   and   truly   fall   for   him.   He   was   a   lot   to   handle   with   his   inability   to   pay   attention   all   the   time,   his   loudness   and   bluntness.   He   could   barely   stand   to   be   around   himself   most   of   the   time   so   he   couldn't   imagine   anyone   else   wanting   to   be   around   him.   The   way   he   felt   about   Steve   was   complicated   only   in   the   sense   that   they   could   never   truly   be   out   in   the   open.   Their   relationship   would   have   to   be   in   the   shadows   for   their   whole   lives   and   Eddie   didn't   think   Steve   deserved   that.   Steve   deserved   someone   that   could   hold   his   hand   in   public,   kiss   him   whenever   he   wanted   to   be   kissed.   

Steve held his hands up in mock defense, before resting them on his hips, eyebrow raised. "That's like, kind of the point. I mean really, you could do anything in here, but I thought that kissing would probably be...easiest?" It was dark enough that if he closed his eyes, he could maybe even pretend that Jonathan was a girl. Jonathan was short enough to pass as one, at least. Not to mention, it was just a kiss. No homo, all that shit.

               THE   LAST   THING   HE'D   EVER   EXPECTED   was   for   Steve   to   kiss   him,   and   then   to   learn   that   he   actually   wanted   to   kiss   him?   Jonathan's   mind   was   totally   blown   at   the   moment   and   he   didn't   know   waht   to   say.   They   could   have   just   sat   there   for   seven   minutes,   mussed   up   their   hair   and   pinched   their   cheeks   to   make   it   look   like   they   were   flushed   from   kissing.   But   no,   Steve   had   actually   kissed   him   and   he   was   now   suggesting   they   continue   to   kiss.   It   was   on   the   tip   of   his   tongue   to   tell   Steve   no   and   leave   the   closet   immediately.   Something   held   him   back;   however,   a   part   of   him   that   was   far   too   curious   for   his   own   good.   Steve   had   always   been   attractive   even   if   he   was   a   complete   dickhead   at   times.   

❝   Fine,   ❞   he   said   softly.   ❝   Y-yeah,   okay.   It's   fine...let's   just   get   it   over   with.   ❞   Jonathan   drew   in   a   shaky   breath,   steeling   himself   for   a   second   kiss   to   come.   There   was   a   strange   nervousness   inside   his   belly   that   he   knew   ought   to   have   been   disgust.   It   was   so   far   from   that,   though.   In   fact   he   was   nervous   and   excited   which   he   hadn't   expected   at   all.   What   did   that   even   mean?   Jonathan   had   always   known   he   was   different,   that   his   attraction   to   men   was   abnormal   and   unacceptable.   He'd   never   told   anyone   about   these   feelings   and   he   didn't   plan   to.   This   meant   nothing.   It   was   just   a   game.   

“That’s not fuckin’ fair, Steve.” Why the hell is Steve insisting on putting words in his mouth? Insisting on telling him how he feels and honestly? He doesn’t know what the fuck Steve is talking about. He had thought things had been going good so what the hell had he done this time?

“You know, instead of pointing fingers and accusing me of shit, how about you tell me where I fucked up?” He gets enough of accusations and finger pointing at home, which is probably why he sounds irritated as much as he does. It reminds him of his dad far too much for his liking.

“Haven’t I made it obvious what I want?” Fuck. Does he really have to spell it out for him? The fact that he hasn’t ended this or ran away from Steve when he had plenty of chances to do so, should tell him everything.

               MAYBE   HE   WAS   BEING   UNFAIR   and   asking   too   much   of   Billy   knowing   that   he   struggled   with   things   like   committment   and   relationships.   When   this   whole   thing   started   he   was   well   aware   that   Billy   was   probably   bad   for   him,   that   there   was   potential   it   wouldn't   work   out.   They   were   two   very   different   people   that   shouldn't   work   but   god,   did   Steve   want   it   to   work   out   with   them.   He'd   told   himself   not   to   get   attached   to   someone   that   couldn't   possibly   want   him   back   emotionally.   But   Steve   wore   his   heart   on   his   sleeve   and   he   routinely   set   himself   up   for   heartbreak.   He'd   done   it   with   Nancy   and   now   he   was   doing   it   again   with   Billy.   He   was   beginning   to   think   that   he   was   absolutely   the   problem   in   his   relationships.   

The   brunette   sighed,   defeated,   and   let   his   hands   drop   to   his   sides.   "I-I'm   sorry..."   he   said   softly.   He   hadn't   known   that's   how   Billy   feels   and   he   wishes   they   could   have   had   a   conversation   about   it.   It's   his   fault,   at   least   partially,   since   he   could   have   approached   this   differently.   He   could   have   come   off   less   aggressive   and   angry.   He   just   hates   seeing   Billy   flirt   with   girls   when   he   desperately   wants   his   attention   at   all   times,   even   if   it's   risky.   

❝   I   shouldn't   have   just   come   at   you   like   this   I   just...I   guess   I   didn't   know   how   you   were   gonna   react   if   I   told   you   that   I   can't   fucking   stand   watching   you   flirt   with   other   people,   ❞   he   admits.   ❝   I      just   want   you   to   want   only   me   and...I   guess   I   just   needed   to   hear   you   say   it.   I   know   it's   pathetic.   ❞   He   really   does   feel   ridiculous   about   the   whole   thing.   

               MAYBE   HE   WAS   BEING   UNFAIR   and   asking   too   much   of   Billy   knowing   that   he   struggled   with   things   like   committment   and   relationships.   When   this   whole   thing   started   he   was   well   aware   that   Billy   was   probably   bad   for   him,   that   there   was   potential   it   wouldn't   work   out.   They   were   two   very   different   people   that   shouldn't   work   but   god,   did   Steve   want   it   to   work   out   with   them.   He'd   told   himself   not   to   get   attached   to   someone   that   couldn't   possibly   want   him   back   emotionally.   But   Steve   wore   his   heart   on   his   sleeve   and   he   routinely   set   himself   up   for   heartbreak.   He'd   done   it   with   Nancy   and   now   he   was   doing   it   again   with   Billy.   He   was   beginning   to   think   that   he   was   absolutely   the   problem   in   his   relationships.   

The   brunette   sighed,   defeated,   and   let   his   hands   drop   to   his   sides.   "I-I'm   sorry..."   he   said   softly.   He   hadn't   known   that's   how   Billy   feels   and   he   wishes   they   could   have   had   a   conversation   about   it.   It's   his   fault,   at   least   partially,   since   he   could   have   approached   this   differently.   He   could   have   come   off   less   aggressive   and   angry.   He   just   hates   seeing   Billy   flirt   with   girls   when   he   desperately   wants   his   attention   at   all   times,   even   if   it's   risky.   

❝   I   shouldn't   have   just   come   at   you   like   this   I   just...I   guess   I   didn't   know   how   you   were   gonna   react   if   I   told   you   that   I   can't   fucking   stand   watching   you   flirt   with   other   people,   ❞   he   admits.   ❝   I      just   want   you   to   want   only   me   and...I   guess   I   just   needed   to   hear   you   say   it.   I   know   it's   pathetic.   ❞   He   really   does   feel   ridiculous   about   the   whole   thing.   

His hesitance spikes Chrissy’s anxiety, has her feeling dejected before he’s even speaking. She’s expecting rejection, expecting distance to be created and it’s starting to feel like a common occurrence. The vast majority of her friends barely speak to her now, cruel notes shoved into her locker and Chrissy doesn’t know how to handle the zombie queen moniker.

               EDDIE   WASN'T   REALLY   EXPECTING   THAT   REACTION   and   a   soft   laugh   leaves   him,   his   cheeks   heating   up   and   he   can't   believe   he's   blushing.   It's   a   little   embarrassing.   He's   supposed   to   be   the   scary   freak   everyone   thought   was   in   league   with   Satan   and   here   he   was   blushing   like   a   school   girl.   Ridiculous.   ❝   Hey,   you're   one   of   my   favorite   people   to   hang   out   with,   too.   ❞   He   wasn't   sure   if   he   should   read   between   the   lines,   if   Chrissy's   words   held   more   meaning   than   just   surface   level.   He   didn't   want   to   assume.   

               EDDIE   WASN'T   REALLY   EXPECTING   THAT   REACTION   and   a   soft   laugh   leaves   him,   his   cheeks   heating   up   and   he   can't   believe   he's   blushing.   It's   a   little   embarrassing.   He's   supposed   to   be   the   scary   freak   everyone   thought   was   in   league   with   Satan   and   here   he   was   blushing   like   a   school   girl.   Ridiculous.   ❝   Hey,   you're   one   of   my   favorite   people   to   hang   out   with,   too.   ❞   He   wasn't   sure   if   he   should   read   between   the   lines,   if   Chrissy's   words   held   more   meaning   than   just   surface   level.   He   didn't   want   to   assume.