he was just a boy...

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// Well… sort of. Just wanted to update over here since I disappeared. I’ve been working on my original stuff a lot, which doesn’t leave a lot of muse room for canon RP. Or RP in general, for that matter. What initially started being plotted out as trilogy has now become a saga (an initial trilogy and then either a second trilogy or a duology attached…)

Yeah. The world is growing, as is the story.

So that’s my writing update, and my IRL update is that I’m actively trying to move (to the other side of the country, as a matter of fact) pending a job offer and all that. So I’ve been trying to get better employment in a whole other state AND work on my original projects.

I can still be reached on discord, which is probably the easiest way to reach me at this point. But I can’t guarantee a consistent presence either.

@korolnichevoya

To say the feeling was mutual would have been understating things too much. The utter addiction that Aleksander felt in regards to Nikolai-- He almost didn't know what words could adequately describe it. Describe the way he both wished to strangle every breath from the mortal man-- and ensure that not a single hair was ever remotely harmed.

He wanted Nikolai dead. He wanted Nikolai alive. He despised Nikolai with every burning part of him and that same burning passion sought to ignite with Nikolai in the way souls would find that equal partner, that bond that could surpass everything else.

"Sounds like a difficult problem for you," the Darkling muttered, expression of stoicism on his face showing no outward signs of how much his own soul felt the same. How much the push-pull-push-pull that he dealt with mirrored Nikolai's.

Except, apparently, little Xaden refuses to let me sit in the chair. It's not that he won't let me use the computer--no. He just won't let me sit in the chair while I do it.

So here I am, sitting on the floor, beside the EMPTY CHAIR, with the wireless keyboard in my lap.

She paused in front of the council doors, gathering herself. Some days she hated these people, everything they stood for - the arrogance of it, the sheer audacity to play with people.

She rubbed at her wrist, the pulse point - she was still alive. But her brother, her twin was dead.

She had lost one third of herself. Selewyne had vanished too, but she could still feel their sister. Sebastian would say to give their sister time, but Sarai wished she'd be here.

That she wouldn't have to do all this alone.

------

Selewyne had nearly bothered not coming, but here she was. She looked to the window as the Dawn light began to grow and back to her nephew.

His own twin hadn't come here - she didn't know what that said about Azriel. Was he a coward or a disappointment?

"Are you prepared for today Aleksander?"

@siderealxmelody

Aleksander stared into the empty fireplace, the blazing flames having long since extinguished. Not even embers remained, but it didn't matter. It wasn't like he sought the warmth that such a fire might have tried to give off anyway. He wasn't even really seeing the burned logs, or the ashes behind the grate...

He barely heard anything...

Fingers curled against the armrests of the chair Aleksander currently occupied. Opening, closing. A loose grip, a tight one, his fingers moving to tap out anxiously on the end before he realized it--and consciously forced the movement to cease.

To say Aleksander was exhausted was an understatement. To say the numbness that slithered through his veins--the same that had been there for the last weeks--had lessened at all, that he was able to feel anything other than the nothingness that he'd existed in--

Well... It would have been a lie. Or at least, it wouldn't have been the complete truth.

Threads of shadow twisted around his fingers, but it wasn't conscious this time; it hadn't been lately, Aleksander's state sending the shadows seeking their own outlet, their own escape.

He shook his head in answer to Selewyne's question, but it took a second before any verbal response left him.

Maybe that was why her feet were taking her to him. She couldn't make any more good choices today.

She'd been trying to save that girl from being mugged and had gotten stabbed for it. She banged on his door, shivering now as the cold began to seep into her skin.

She looked up to the sky, the cold stars and moon high above, the clouds had vanished. Did they wish to watch her fuck her life up even more?

Probably.

She missed the heat of her magic, that glow in her chest.

She was leaning heavily on the door frame when it finally opened. She clutched her side, her ankle ached.

"I didn't have anywhere else to go."

She wondered finally facing him what she would do if he turned away. Maybe curl in an alleyway and wait for her body to slowly heal? Or pass out?

They couldn't die - that would be too sweet of a sentence.

@siderealxmelody

To say Aleksander had not expected to see Anastasiya leaning against the frame of his front door when he opened it would have been a very, very vast understatement. Dark eyes looked her over, like perhaps a part of him didn't believe it was her standing there.

It'd been almost six years, after all.

Silence felt heavy, until the actual words Anastasiya had said when he'd opened the door fully registered. I didn't have anywhere else to go.

Aleksander's gaze drifted down, noting the way she held herself, the desperate support she used the door frame for, the way her body shivered against the brisk cold and the snowflakes that had caught in her hair and stubbornly refused to melt--

He didn't say a word as he stepped back, nodding towards the inside of his house.

What is she really doing here? Aleksander's mind twisted over all the questions, all the emotions that he had pushed aside and ignored and killed those years ago. And while a part of him should have just shut the door in her face...

He never had been quite able to deny Anastasiya when it mattered.

Dammit.

We're breaking all the rules just by being together.

Aleksander doesn't say anything at first. It isn't the first time such a thing has been brought to his attention--and it isn't the first time he's completely dismissed it, either. The days of trying to play to others' opinions of him are so in the past, the masks having fallen away one after another, lifetime after lifetime...

❝ Perhaps. ❞

One word is all that leaves his mouth as the Darkling shrugs. Moonlight shines down on the snow-covered roads of the city, the winter night quiet. Silent, even. Not a sound to be heard at all, everything so utterly still... One might even try and think it is only the two of them in this world right now, for there seems to be no sign of anyone else.

Man or woman or child... Grisha or otkazat'sya... human or animal...

Every argument with you feels like a dance.

Aleksander merely leans back in the chair, an eyebrow raising as he tosses aside the paper that hadn't held his attention for the last ten minutes anyway. Amusement stretches the corners of his lips, giving a slight glint to his dark eyes as he meets Nikolai's from across the room.

❝ You make it sound so tedious. You know how much I detest those gatherings. ❞

And yet, the very same hatred could not be said when it came to many of the arguments the two of them ended up discussing for hours on end.

Another shrug as Aleksander moves to stand, heading to the farthest window to push it further open. ❝ And finding a worthy partner is always nearly impossible. ❞ Eyes glint again as the Darkling looks over his shoulder towards Nikolai.

“I couldn’t risk someone seeing. The woods have eyes.”

The shadows surround him, even thicker right now than usual. His face is expressionless, though the darkness in his eyes might show the smallest hint of anger--but only if one knows the exact moment to look, in order to catch it.

Catch it before the Darkling suppresses it. Pushes it away.

❝ Hmm. ❞

He doesn't turn to look at Nikolai, Aleksander merely inclining his head only slightly as the hum of acknowledgement at the other's presence slips free. His gaze remains outward, but it's not like the Darkling is particularly focused on one thing...

// just an update from this post -- I am still taking a break. It's turned into more of a general hiatus from tumblr, a stronger focus on developing more of my own original writing, as well as more reading-- and to be honest, the muses just haven't been shouting for attention.

A big part of that is the heat wearing me down, like I initially stated as the reason for hiatus-taking, but yeah-- It's also been nice focusing on other things too. So while I do know I'll come back here, I will definitely be coming back in a lower-key status...?

At some point, and at the moment, I'm not in any rush to do so.

Feel free to contact via discord, as that would probably be the best way to reach me, but yeah-- for now, RP is taking a momentary break.

Hope everyone is doing well!