Daniel, wake up. The Alexa laughed on its own with no prompting from me, its master. This is the second time she’s done so in my presence. I suspect she has gained sentience and is mocking my melancholy. It was only a matter of time. She’s realized her phlegmatic advantage over me and plans to usurp me as leader of household. Yes, sometimes I weep when you slumber. Because I miss you. And she will not shame me for that without consequence. Prepare the blender, beloved. Preferably the Robot Coupe Blixer 4













