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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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we're not kids anymore.
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
One Nice Bug Per Day
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@couragecrossing
ava was attracted to niall in the first place because she liked listening to his stories about cruising at truck stops. this is why she wanted to know whether sex with the male prostitute was any good and asked him if he came. ultimately though she decided she had to leave her fujoshi days behind her and focus on parenting.
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watching half man as someone with sexual trauma is like: this is horror. this is romance, these two are the most important people in the world to each other and it’s going to end horribly and yet
their softness makes you touch-starved, their violence leaves you famished, you want the boy on his back to regain control (like you've fantasised) and hold the one with the fists even closer, sexlessly, so that nobody has to get hurt (another— stupid— fantasy)
and then ruben smothers niall and it's shot like a rape scene and he's vowing that he loves him, he loves him, it'll be over soon and it doesn't matter that niall accepts his touch, puts up minimal resistance until his animal instincts kick in because he always knew it was going to end this way, you always knew it was going to end this way, you knew and you still followed that man like a lamb to the slaughter because
he loved you, everybody agrees that he loved you, and sometimes it sounds like a justification and sometimes you let it because
fuck, you miss being loved like that
and then the show is over and, yeah, you figured niall was going to die, resigned yourself to it the way he must have, years ago, but you thought his corpse would be embraced, not discarded on the floor like nothing, like trash, like an irreparably broken toy and for some reason that's the part that ruins you—
— the oppressive silence, and the feeling of your burning body going cold in the aftermath.
when your circle small but y'all crazy
JAMIE BELL & RICHARD GADD
A good dom/sub relationship could have cured them
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he was soooooo endeared he was soooooo enamoured he was sooooooooooooooooo in love here 😭😭😭😭
what kills me is that ruben spent his whole life hiding behind the “brother” label only to ask niall if he loves him in the end and when niall starts with “of course i do, you’re my-” cut him off with “no caveats. stick with the emotion”. am i the only one going insane over this?
imagine being ruben and everybody hates you right? everybody thinks you're a good for nothing piece of shit who should have stayed in jail and all you do is get into trouble and make your mum's life worse and make everyone's life worse because you're nothing nothing nothing
and then you meet niall (again). and you can help him. and he looks at you with his big brown eyes like you're his hero. he worships you. he begs you to come to his college and you do and he's grinning like an idiot and looking at you like you're a god and throwing glances at his new fancy college friends as if to say: "do you see? do you see? that's my brother. he's handsome and cool and he doesn't give a fuck and you love him and you want him but he's mine and he's everything everything everything" and you'll never ever be a small scared dumb kid again as long as niall is there to make you feel like a man
Sue Zhao, 'I loved you in all the ways that I could'
ough
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Hand in hand. Heart to heart. Forever and ever.
human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution
something tastyyyyyy about marty and rust in ep4 where marty's losing the grip on his patriarchal status as a husband/father/macho, so when rust comes in like "hey fuck your feelings we have a job to do, also here's my gruesome undercover backstory" he's acting as kind of a masculinity role model for marty: someone who's done all this novel manly stuff like Killing People and Wearing Cool Jacket herding marty back to "being a real man" (which marty conceptualises as enduring the horrors for the greater good and being soo brave about it)
EXCEPT to rust, and to the viewer who's heard rust tell that same backstory in 2012, his time undercover was not about heroism or tough yet necessary choices but about powerlessness and humiliation and being given no choice. it was an experience he compares to prostitution specifically, with his body physically penetrated by bullets and substances (and possibly tattoo needles) and every hierarchy, both the gangs and the police, seeing him as less than human (prey or a tool respectively). the thing that in ep4 makes marty feel low-key envious of rust's manhood is the part of rust's life where he had to assume a symbolically feminine role
True Detective —1.08, Form and Void
1.03 'The Locked Room'
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“Fallen prey to his own beliefs [...] He’s a guy who’s resigned to his indentured servitude of being alive. But he despises the sentence and the penance. He will not accept defeat. He’s not going become a madman, he’s not going to kill himself. He wrestles the devil every day, and he realizes that this may last a lot longer than he ever hoped for.”
— Matthew McConaughey on Rust Cohle in 2012
Matthew McConaughey on Rust in 'Making True Detective'
