I.D. Core

[Michigan Cellphone]: And I was expecting less of them but that’s a good expectation to fail. There’s at least 50 humans!! 

[Michigan Cellphone]: I’ve stopped counting but there might actually be more than 100! 

[Michigan Cellphone]: Also you are an AI. Aren’t you? 

[Michigan Cellphone]: I’m not mad. You can tell me. 

[Michigan Cellphone]: Lying is worse than being a machine. 

Disclaimer: This is NOT meant to insult any RPer in particular nor any character interpretations. It’s simply a fun list based on several dozens of RPer archetypes I’ve met over 5 years of being in the Portal fandom. If you don’t think you fit any of these, that’s fine too. This chart doesn’t include everyone! 

Tag yourself if you want! 

Lawful Good: Chell roleplayers who seem to forget basic character traits like “stubborn” and “quiet” but are very friendly and fun to be around. You’ll love them as people (especially the muns) even if you don’t agree with their interpretation. 

Neutral Good: Chell roleplayers who are very serious and do a lot of research to create as realistic an interpretation as possible. They have a bad habit of getting Edgy™ and Gritty™ but have a deep respect for Portal as a game and ultimately want their RPing to honor it. 

Chaotic Good: “OmG WHEA t LEY I m soRRY b e CASEU UR SO HAWT!1!!1!!! I WAnNA ABANG GTHE SMExy ROBO-CirCLE!!1! AAAAAAAAAAAAA” 

Lawful Neutral: Old jaded Wheatley roleplayers who’ve been around through the bulk of the fandom’s existence. Their wise old eyes have seen everything. Flaky and apathetic, they come and go as they please, but have a real love for the character that keeps them coming back time and time again. 

True Neutral: Doug probably. There’s only ever been, like…three of ‘em. 

Chaotic Neutral: New Wheatley roleplayers with a fresh attitude. Full of energy, they’re still developing their headcanons and haven’t gotten a grip on Wheatley’s character outside of “I’m sorry” and “British.” But give them time; they’re good writers and just need a chance to settle in. 

Lawful Evil: GLaDOS roleplayers who are highly selective and closed off to strangers but kind, affectionate people once you get to know them. They may come off as intimidating but their pickiness is most likely out of stress or IRL busyness. They also probably hate their theme/URL/whatever but never bother to change it for some reason. 

Neutral Evil: GLaDOS roleplayers who are just as sassy and sarcastic as their muse. Fantastic at pulling off GLaDOS’s sense of humor but often are too busy poking fun at Her to take Her seriously. Don’t rely on them for drama; rather, rely on them for making you laugh your ass off at 3am. Not-so-secretly ChellDOS trash. 

What landmarks? They were in the middle of a gigantic empty field. Nevertheless, her eyes followed his, even up to the sun where she winced and tensed up. Best not to stare at that. 

She had been about to pull him up when he referred to their current predicament as being “like old times.” Once again, her boot came down on his chest. She was going to train him out of that mindset even if it took snapping every last one of his limbs. 

Then she lifted him up. Slung him over her shoulder like a satchel with his head behind her and his legs dangling down her front. She only shifted positions when she realized that he wouldn’t be able to guide them without being able to see ahead. Chell tugged his chest down and held him bridal-style from then on out. 

“Oh no, oh nononONONO!” He tried to roll out of the way best he could, but her boot still hurt like hell. Not to mention, probably damaged something... He was used to the little flashing red lights and pop-up alerts that tended to crop up in the corners of his vision, but it seemed to him (once he’d stopped yelling) as though there were more of them than usual... Not to mention the low mechanical wheeze of a broken internal fan had gotten just a little bit worse.

“Ahh... O-okay... Got the message...” He winced when she picked him up. “Just-... Try to remember I do need some of these systems...To function...” He looked out across the uniform landscape. God he hoped she’d find something... Maybe a mechanic...

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Glad to hear your whatchamajig is working again

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Whatchamajigs can be pretty tricky

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Depending on what they are and all

[UN.SIG]: Where are you? Can you get me some help? I’m… This is gonna sound crazy, maybe, but–

[UN.SIG]: Oh. 

[UN.SIG]: Sorry, I didn’t mean to like, uhhh…. [muffled cursing at self]

[UN.SIG]: AWESOME, I’d like to not die down here.

A thought occurred to Stella.

Wheatley paused a moment.

He bristled a little at first, but in turning around to glare at whoever had said it, he himself became somewhat curious.

“Nuh uh, I’m normal-sized for my age.”

“Alright, but I mean, comparatively speaking.“ She was more obviously small than he was weird, he was quite sure.

“Uh… Okay… Um. Right. Going to need… Sweaters, blankets. Hats? Hats. Scarves… Something to chase off bears and penguins with… Though you could probably fight those if I’m honest… Do you have any kind of a-…

“Antarctica is very far away. We’ll need to take food with us. Did you get the warm things? 

“...” Yeah, he’d managed to find a few things.

He got out from under the blanket and tried to look professional while folding it back up again. “Well, you’ll be the one who’ll be eating it, so you may want to be the one on that one.