PROPHETIC DREAMS

a laugh escapes him before he can even realize it was bubbling out. of course. of course stefan doesn't like him LIKE THAT. maverick is fuckable, sure, but not someone to date. not someone to be seen in public with. he runs a hand over his face, amusement in his voice as he speaks, "we could have done the fuck buddy thing, but... but i'm not fucking—committing to being a boyfriend if you can't stand the thought of dating me." it's a lie mostly. he's never had multiple partners, not at once, but he's angry enough to imagine it. imagine sleeping with someone else just to push it in stefan's face.

 〝 nobody asked you to, 〞 he intercepts, hands are shoved into his pockets. 〝 you know i'm thinking this thing has run its course. 〞

maverick shrugged, he really hadn't ever thought of having kids, like not an actual consideration of them until right now really, but he figures that should have been a decision made longer ago. "i don't know," he shrugs, honestly this time. "i think all that died long ago."

  〝 what are you talking about? we're not even thirty yet. there's plenty of time just to decide. 〞 beat, a tone more empathetic. 〝 it might not feel like it but we have our whole lives in front of us. 〞

"sorry, i was a little preoccupied." the woman sighed as her eyebrows raised and her fingertips came to her temple. "she ran into the back of me/ i don't think i stopped suddenly... she seemed very apologetic, a little angry though as her front looked a lot worse so i didn't want to make it any worse."

  〝 she rear-ended you, that's good, that means she's liable. 〞 he summarises, sounding more like the parent than the offspring. 〝 and you swapped insurance? 〞

" has it been a crazy couple weeks because your grandma died, or like, a crazy couple weeks because you worked a couple late nights? " invasive, maybe, for someone she's only been on a couple of dates with, but it's said firmly, and seriously — her reaction, really, is dependent on the severity of the mess that had left her, well, ghosted. something she didn't like to be, and, if her affirmations in the morning were to be believed, was something she was too pretty, too smart to be. one of the most important calculations in life was figuring out the balance between empathy and self-respect. she takes a sip of her beverage.

 〝 a friend of mine just got out of rehab, 〞 disingenuous that, friend. only he doesn't know what else to call her, with ex girlfriend being reserved for something a little more serious than a relationship dating back to high school. 〝 and i've been trying to be there as much as i can. 〞

" responsibility for what? i'm great. ask anyone. they should give people reviews, like yelp. ava, five stars. "

 〝 you mean like when you got kicked off uber? 〞

his laugh comes easy, both at sawyer's shock, and at the suggestion. maverick liked kids, but he was never going to have his own. he'd babysit for her and lou forsure, but stefan didn't seem much of the father figure himself, and maverick was going to take what he could get. "now where am i going to get a baby, soy ? "

 〝 one thing at a time, 〞 she pivots. 〝 do you want kids? 〞

he thinks about his own mom, her wine tendencies after work. he'd never had the same taste for those things, most evenings after work spent de-stressing in the gym. the relationship he had with his parents was atypical, at least compared to that of the people he used to attend high school with, but it had never been a bother. they made things work, all living parallel lives unbothered, but he always thought it was interesting to see the other side of things. he realizes he's drifted when she speaks and he's not sure what mj is referring to. "close to what ? "

 〝 perfect, 〞 she repeats, smaller now, in voice and stature. 〝 and i'm not just saying that to, like, butter you up or something. 〞

"i didn't ask you to. i just thought you liked me." it's pathetic, maverick loses steam with each word, but he stands his ground, tears dried up. he feels like he's back in high school, flirting with the adult he shouldn't. this all feels like confirmation of things he already knew and if he could go back in time and live in ignorance again, he would. easier that way.

 〝 not like that. 〞

" d-do you think we need a manager instead of d-doing it a-aall ourselves? " the question, then, is if they can afford a manager, or if they'd have to rope someone in to doing much less for them on some kind of volunteer basis. briefly, he wonders how embarrassing it would be to ask his mom. he knows juli won't let him suggest it to sawyer, if she even had the time.

 〝 and take the pay cut? no way. 〞 they're not rolling in it as is but he needed the cash. minimum wage workers, they all did. 〝 no point getting screwed by some colonel parker wannabe when we've gotten this far on our own. 〞

"Or did you mean just the summer after we graduate? We can do whatever you want." Especially since they'd probably be moving to wherever his internship end up being after.

 〝 that's it? marriage and a 9 to 5? 〞 she's not even twenty-two. 〝 no … mounting everest or starting your own or seeing the seven world wonders or, i don't know, join the circus? 〞

" fundraisers, claire, determine funds. it's in the name. funds are money, and money is how we do things like, maintain our status as charitable gift givers, and host awesome fucking parties with everyone on campus where you can get sloppy drunk off wine coolers and play hot-and-cold handsy games with preston in the corner, and buy cute little matching pink tee shirts for whenever the next fucking fundraiser is. and alumni are connections. connections are routes to the future. so. let's make sure there aren't any more broken necks this semester. yeah? "

 〝 not everyone can compartmentalise like you. 〞

" see, oli? that's your problem. you don't want to take my advice, and it's good advice, so you make up shit i never said to reject it. you heard me say 'only have kids with a man who's responsible, and future oriented — beyond when the next time he gets his dick sucked is' and you go: 'oh, so you doom me to a life of socks on, lights off, thirty-second sex and driving a mini van.' there is an entire world of futures beyond stepford suburbia and someone who couldn't care if you live or die. "

 〝 it's good advice for someone with a future. great for anybody who planned one. 〞 she doesn't mean to sound defeatist, not when she's content in her reality. 〝 i love him, sienna. there's no reasoning your way outta that one. 〞

"bad things happen to good people. it's what makes us who we are. shapes us and moulds us." he hasn't had cancer, he sure hasn't lost a limb, he's spouting something that makes his insides twist, a nagging feeling that he should just shut up, but also feeling like he should still push a little more. "i think you're part of god's plan for me."

 〝 yeah? 〞 he stirs, green eyes fixed on sonny, smile ghosting.〝 you gonna save me, church boy? 〞

" yeah, yeah, you're a man of the fuckin' people with your rolex. "

 〝 it was a gift, 〞 he argues, although not exactly negating jay's point. 〝 from your mother, actually. 〞

"I'm young at heart. Is she really twenty now? We're getting old!" But that's not really what he wants to talk about. "Okay!" He's a little surprised about it but — okay! "And how is that going?"

 〝 fine, 〞 benevolently, odette spares him the details. 〝 still haven't told ava. gonna be a lot less fine when i do. 〞