FULL NAME: Kim Eunjae
NICKNAME / GOES BY : Eunjae, Jae
GENDER & PRONOUNS: cismale, he/him
AGE & BIRTHDAY: 29, September 27th
ZODIAC: Libra
TIME IN INTERCEPT: local
STRENGTHS: cheerful, selfless, caring, gracious
WEAKNESSES: naive, manipulative, insecure, self destructive
tw: parental neglect, eating disorder, internalized homophobia
Growing up, Eunjae had everything he could possibly ask for β the type of life that only someone with parents as rich as his own could lead. From the moment he was born, he was spoiled with luxury items and clothing, all the toys he could want. The one thing he did not have, however, was the love and attention from his parents. The stream of gifts was there to pacify and distract him. You see, his parents had never meant to have kids and when his mother had fallen pregnant, their strict religious beliefs had been the thing forcing them into this life. For as long as Eunjae could remember, he was getting passed around to babysitters, nannies, au pairs β anyone available for a paycheck. At the time, he felt loved. Especially since he hardly had to ask for anything to receive it. It was only as he got older that he started to understand what it meant to be raised by someone who got paid to look after him. This was also around the time it started to hit him how much it sucked to constantly grow close to people who inevitably left after a few years; sometimes months.
He became clingier, which in turn made it harder for people to stick around. Eventually his parents stopped finding caretakers at all, convinced he was old enough to fend for himself. All this time alone meant more time to overthink β time to sit and wonder what was so hard to love about him. In school he wasn't very well liked, despite his best efforts to make friends. He was too much, too clingy, too demanding. Occasionally he would make friends, but it was hard to keep them. Slowly but surely, Eunjae started to feel like maybe this was all because he'd gotten bigger and took up too much space. After all, people had adored him when he was little. So perhaps if he was smaller, he would be liked more.
It started as an innocent diet, but escalated over the years. He was hardly eating, convinced himself that it made him more attractive and desirable. Aside from that, it became one aspect of his life he was able to have full control over. Because once the secret interest and crushes on other guys started to invade his brain, it just added another insecurity to his damaged system. Having grown up with his ultra religious parents, he knew all too well how they would react if he allowed himself to give in to his desires. So he kept them firmly hidden; lying to anyone who inquired, lying to himself until he'd cry himself to sleep.
Cue Maxxie Moon. Eunjae vividly remembers the first time he met Maxxie β it had been an ordinary day, although one that would change his life forever. Maxxie was unapologetic, fearless, confident. To Eunjae, he was terrifying, he was everything he had missed in his own life. All he knew was that he was mesmerized.
The feeling was entirely one-sided.
To Maxxie, Jae was a pathetic little doormat β existing for approval and attention, willing to do anything to be liked by others. And yet no amount of off-handed comments could scare Eunjae away from him. He couldn't help but feel magnetized, as if something supernatural was pulling them together. Fate? Neither of them believed in such a thing, as much as Eunjae would love to believe in soulmates. The more Maxxie tried to push him away, the harder Jae tried to win him over. And somehow? It worked. The more Eunjae revealed about himself, during unsolicited yap sessions, the more Maxxie started to understand the person underneath the desperation. And while it took two whole years of pining, of trial and error, one day he miraculously found himself titled 'Maxxie Moon's boyfriend'.
It was under this title that he slowly gained the confidence he had always been looking for. Over the past six months of them dating, Maxxie got him to start eating a little better, helped him feel less terrified of his sexuality. And while he has a long way to go in both departments (he is still unable to openly show up together in public) he's improving a little bit every day.
