Bird Enthusiatic

2. The point of this genre of children’s entertainment is very important. It’s to Practice feeling Big, Difficult Emotions, but in a safe way where the dangers or risks or loses are softened. Our brain doesn’t differentiate between “my grandparent died” sad and “oh no that character’s Mommy died” sad. It is easier to process the former sadness if one has practice via the latter sadness.

Because we can practice with a safety net, in the emotional Holodeck of fiction, we can be prepared for the painful, scary, difficult parts of real life.

One time, when I was having a very hard time, bad enough that I admitted I was struggling to my mother. My mother looked at me and told me: “Don’t make big decisions in February.” 

I was very confused, because it was not February at the time, but she explained that one year, when she was younger but old enough to live on her own, she was having a very hard time, much like me. She found herself feeling especially low and especially stressed in February. And she decided she wouldn’t make any big changes for the rest of the month.

And the month went by, and she had a hard time, but time passed and it happened that by the beginning of March, she was feeling a lot better. And she was able to make big decisions she had avoided in February.

So now it’s a mantra for me: Don’t make big decisions in February.

February being whenever I feel down or angry or stressed. 

Boss or coworkers being crappy? Don’t make big decisions in February.

Feeling lonely and it’s 2am and you have a bottle of hair dye just sitting on your bathroom sink? Don’t make big decisions in February.

Give yourself space to think through your decisions. Bad moods rarely give you the best judgement. Anxiety disorders, depression, and other mental illnesses will try to convince you the wrong decisions are the right ones, and in the moment, they sound very convincing. 

So give yourself time to figure out if that’s what you actually need, what you actually want, and what would maybe feel good in the moment but have consequences you’re not willing or ready to deal with.