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In front of you, the demon pranced about with his golden fans. 

A particularly harsh cough burst forth from your throat, your hand gripping the nichirin sword in your grasp tighter as you propelled your feet forwards. Gotta keep moving. Can’t stop moving. The dewy grass beneath you turned to dust as you narrowly avoided another one of the demon’s attacks. You took a wide berth around the demon's form, trying to allow time for you to control your breathing. It became glaringly clear that this was no inconvenience for the monster.

“Now, now. Why put up such a fight?” The white-haired beast crooned, his eyes tracking your every move as you came to a stop, legs no longer able to fully support you. “If it’s any consolation, you’re not the first hashira I’ve killed. Oh no, far from the first. You know, you’re very pretty. It would be an honour to carry you with me for eternity…”

A crazed look crept onto the demon's face as you ground your teeth together, shaking your head to clear away the dark vignette bordering your vision. You ignored the throbbing pain in your ankle, forcing yourself not to stop. Every inch of you screamed for reprieve - begged for mercy. But you could not give in. 

You had long since discarded your blood soaked haori, your sword was one strong blow from breaking and your vision was swimming with big black, ink-like blots. 

You knew that one wrong move would spell the end. 

Under the moon's guidance, you sought far into your soul, searching for a way to get out of this alive. Anything. From the deep nothingness of your mind popped a face, much like your own. 

“My darling baby. Don’t stop. Never stop.” You blinked blearily at the person in front of you. Were you hallucinating? Is this what death felt like? Two warm hands cupped your cheeks, and suddenly you felt four years old again. “You need to snap out of it. You’re not going to die - not my girl. Not today.” 

Your mothers voice was ringing in your ears. But as you went to grab for her, she vanished, leaving only the forest and carnage behind. A sob bubbled out of your mouth, wet tears dripping down your cheeks and mixing with your blood like some twisted painting. It had been too long since you had seen your family. Since they had…you vanquished the thought. You must have looked like a wreck as your gaze pinned onto the demon. His eyes widened in a childlike wonderment, his lips curling into a soft frown. 

“Tears? Human emotion -” 

You didn’t let him finish his monologue. Mustering all the strength left in your body, you darted forward, hair whipping everywhere as you recited the forms that you had said a thousand times before. A slicing pain came from your abdomen but you paid it no mind, just like the rest of the cuts and bruises now littering your body. You got closer and closer, each breath hurting like a jagged knife to the heart. But you didn’t stop, couldn’t stop. The final words of your twelfth form ripped from your lips and you barely registered as you swung your sword in an arc above your head. You were so close. The demon's neck was so close. From here, it would be like cutting cheese. It should’ve been like cutting cheese. 

Solid force bashed against your sword, a loud metal THWANG echoing through the silent woods. Blood rained over you like a shower, hands shaking as you severed through the demon’s neck. The momentum drove you forward, and you were left stumbling onto your knees, head smashing against a rocky outcrop. Screaming was impossible, your throat felt so raw and stripped of skin that even muttering became impossible. Your body was on fire, burning you apart from your toes to your scalp. You couldn’t keep up your constant breathing anymore, lungs constricting rapidly inside your shuddering form. Something sharp poked inside of you. Maybe a broken rib or two or six. You could feel that your ankles were both broken, and your arms were like cooked ramen, floppy and useless. 

The stars in the sky dimmed, or maybe that was just your vision slowly fading. Whatever it was, you welcomed the darkness. With the upper moon dead, you could resign yourself to death peacefully, knowing that you’d contributed to the efforts to defeat Muzan Kibitsuji. Or that’s what you thought.

“Oh my, you sure are stubborn.” Said a voice, breaking through the hazy cloud that had settled over your mind. “You nearly got me, you know? Pity that your sword couldn’t keep it up any longer.” 

Terror hugged you like a ghost. He wasn’t dead. You hadn’t killed him. That sound…it had been your sword breaking. It didn’t make sense. You had felt the blood spraying your skin, had felt the sword cutting through his flesh. How…? 

“Don’t be afraid, little one. You will live on through me. Or well, in me.” The demon was giggling to himself, his pants brushing against your corp uniform as you lay broken on the ground. You had lost. This was the end. All your efforts had been null. You should’ve known that you would never truly make it as a demon slayer. The only reason you had made it this far was luck. If the universe hadn’t been playing its stupid tricks, then you would have been massacred like the rest of your family. 

Yeah, so much for being a Hashira. 

Laying on the cold grass, you questioned how you had ever been strong enough to qualify as a pillar. To be considered ‘the best of the best’. What a load of crap. 

You couldn’t feel your legs, or your arms. Something heavy was pressing against your back and suddenly your body was forced to its feet. The arms looped under yours were the only thing keeping you standing. As much as you wanted to fight, you physically couldn’t. Hours had already passed since the upper moon first arrived. What you first thought was a simple mission had escalated far more than you could ever imagine. It was only you and him; everyone else was dead or well on their way. Your heart cried for the junior members of the corps. They hadn’t stood a chance. 

Dark. Everything was so dark. Sharp tingles of pain were creeping up your neck, your body felt like it was being moulded into something else. 

Dark. The dark was here. 

You couldn’t die like this. 

Dark.

Tears were streaming down your face. Were they? Maybe you were just imagining it.

Cold.

You needed to fight. You needed to fight. You needed to fight.

Tired. 

The most you could do was pry a single eye open. 

Through your squinting vision, you saw the large white moon, so far away up in the sky. The trees whistled with the wind, swaying gently in your peripheral. The demon was elsewhere. Behind you? Was that what the pain radiating from your back was? Maybe. Maybe not. You didn’t know. Everything was numb. A voice whispered into the shell of your ear.

“I can hear your heart slowing down…you sure don’t wanna die, huh?” 

You stared forwards, towards the trees. Was there someone there? What was that sound? 

A warm hand clasped yours. You couldn’t see her, but you knew your mum had come back. And she was tugging, tugging. Tugging you away somewhere. You let your eye fall shut again, just wanting this to be over. Your mum was taking you home, everything would be okay. 

No. Something muttered deep in the black depths of your mind. Look. 

“I just want this to stop,” you tried to say back, but your vocal strings were fried, your life was slowly slipping from your grasp. 

The voice came again, this time with a fiery barrage of anger.

Look. 

So you did. 

Your gaze narrow and shaky, you watched as a roaring snake blocked out the moon. And there was pink, pink everywhere. The pressure on your back suddenly disappeared and your body was left to tumble to the ground. This time, nothing could stop your descent into darkness. 

“Mmh,” a groan rumbled in your chest. The ground was rapidly moving beneath you, your arms deadweight on your chest. You were floating - no, someone was carrying you. You tried to move your body, but the flaring pain immediately stopped you.

“We’re nearly there,” a quiet voice mumbled somewhere above you. If you weren’t in so much pain, you would have flinched at the sudden noise. Where were you? What was happening?

Peeking your eyes open, you managed to make out the mismatched coloured eyes of the man carrying you. Something silky slid along your neck. 

You tried to say his name but failed, eyes blinking once, twice and then falling shut again as the darkness returned. 

The next time you woke up, it was to a dimly lit room. A plush pillow was situated under your head and a soft blanket was draped loosely over your lower half. Your whole body ached like a buttcheek on a stick, that was for sure. When you tried to move your legs, nothing happened. Your eyes grew wide, but you winced, your skin feeling tender around your left eye. Huffing a breath, you wiggled your way so that you could sit upright, staring in horror at your legs. Were you…?

“Don't get ahead of yourself. Your legs are in casts for now, they’re just broken.” 

Head whipping to the side, you saw Shinobu situated off to the side of your bed. You gaped like a fish, eyes darting between her and your unresponsive legs. A small smile covered her lips. 

When you tried to speak, your mouth was too dry. You only managed to cough.

The Insect Hashira got the hint, picking up a glass of water from the bedside table. You took it graciously in trembling hands, gulping down the liquid like a dry sponge. It became clear that you were about to choke, and Shinobu did nothing as you did just that, water sputtering from your lips as you hacked up your lungs. When your coughing fit finally ended, you handed the glass back, slumping unceremoniously back onto the pillows. The room stayed silent for a moment, your heavy breathing occupying the space. You were in the Butterfly mansion, that much was clear. However, you didn't know how. The last thing you remember, you were on the cusp of death and hallucinating some wacky-ass snake covered in love hearts. 

“How…” you rasped, making eye contact with Shinobu. “How’d I get here? Am I dead?” 

Shinobu stifled a giggle into her haori, magenta hair flying around as she shook her head no. She smiled at you, getting up from her seated position. 

“Well, Obanai and Mitsuri brought you back here. Poor girl was crying too much to explain what happened and you know how that damn Snake Hashira is.” 

You narrowed your eyes, trying hard to remember the past events. As you did, Shinobu made her way to the door. You raised a brow in question, but she only smiled again and slipped out of the room, silence following in her wake. You groaned. So much for asking questions.

For the next couple of minutes, you dwelled on your thoughts, eyes slowly drooping shut. Just when you thought you would fall back asleep, the door to the room burst open. Loud yelling instantly invaded your ears. 

“Yahhh! You’re awake, oh, you’re awake! Do you know how scared I was? Oh! You were bleeding everywhere and you wouldn’t respond when we were saying your name! I thought you were dead. I thought you…” You could only blink in shock at the love hashira. Her yelling quickly quieted down to sobs as she ran over to wrap her arms around your neck. Gargantuan tears rolled off her face and onto your prone form. “Never do that again, okay! When Obanai and I found you, we thought we were too late. Nyahh, why would you fight an upper moon demon alone you dummy!” The crying girl reached a new crescendo as she started yelling again, her voice causing a new throbbing to start up in the back of your head. 

“Okay, ‘Suri. I’m alright,” you whispered, hoping to soothe her screaming. Two big green eyes stared at you for a moment, a steady stream of tears still rolling from them. She went to open her mouth again but you sighed, reaching a hand to stroke her bubblegum hair back from her face. A red tint now accompanied the wet stains on her cheeks. She bit her lip hard, eyes darting all over your face before she wailed one last time and slumped over you like a cat. 

Internally, you cried at the pressure that she put on your ribs, but covered it with a small smile on your face. 

“Oi, you’re hurting her.” 

Mitsuri leaped off of you in an instant, hands covering her mouth. With her no longer obscuring your view of the room, you could see Obanai stood motionless in the doorway. He quietly entered, closing the door behind him. His dull eyes roved your form for a second, before settling on your face. 

“How do you feel?” 

You bit your lip to stop from saying how you really felt. That was, complete and utter shit. Instead, you managed a small grin, watching as he came to sit on the edge of the bed. Mitsuri followed, climbing up onto the sheets and snuggling up close. 

“Fine. How long have I been out?” 

Mitsuri hung onto your arm for dear life, and you watched as her bottom lip wobbled. 

“Two weeks now. I didn’t know if you were ever gonna wake up.” She said sadly, burrowing her head into the nook of your neck. From the side of your eye, you watched as Obanai rolled his eyes at the girl's words. With your free hand, you patted the love hashira on the back, hoping it gave her some sense of comfort. Craning your neck to the side, you averted your stare back to the Serpent Hashira, knowing he’d at least answer some of your questions without bursting into tears.

“What happened back there? I mean, I thought I was dead for sure.” You ended your words with a small laugh, but he didn’t seem to find them very funny. 

“When Kanroji and I arrived, that demon was absorbing you from behind.” That explained the numbness in your back. “You looked as good as dead, hell you were dead. But somehow we managed to ward him off long enough to grab you and get you back here.” 

He stopped talking, gaze assessing the look on your face. At your prolonged silence, Mitsuri popped her head up to look at your expression. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“You didn’t kill it?” you asked slowly. Next to you, Mitsuri gulped. Obanai just looked at you. “You let it get away?” You insisted, neck cracking as you raised up onto your weak forearms. Mitsuri uttered words of warning but you ignored them, brows pulled tightly together. Your eyes flew between your fellow hashira, lips opening and closing in disbelief. 

“That wasn’t the priority.” Obanai said simply. Your eyes focused on him. Besides you, Mitsuri hummed her agreement. 

“Why?” you growled. “How was that not the priority? I fought that damn demon for hours. Okay? Hours. The two of you together could have beat him no problem, upper moon or not. And what, you just let it get away? This is our job! This is what we do! If we don’t kill these demons when we get the chance, how the hell are we supposed to ever stop Muzan, huh? Ubayashiki won’t be happy to hear this. I’m not happy to hear this!” 

Mitsuri ducked her head, but Obanai’s gaze didn’t waver. 

“Ubayashiki knows.” 

You grit your teeth. “‘He knows’, that’s all you're gonna say? Why not explain your actions then! Explain why you let an upper moon get away when you were in the prime position to kill it!”

The raven haired man stayed silent this time, eyes finally falling to his lap. 

But you weren’t done with this, no way. A heavy pressure bared down on your chest, stopping you from getting full lungfuls of air. All the pain did was remind you of what happened. Remind you that you nearly died. And for what? What did you almost die for, if the demon got away in the end? You said exactly this, watching as the two avoided meeting your eye. 

“I swear to god,” you seethed. “You better tell me that you know where that demon went, or so help me…” 

The silence gave you your answer. 

Mitsuri sat up fully, eyes brimming with fresh tears. She took hold of your hand, bringing it close to her chest.

“We did it for you,” she babbled, tugging on the sleeve of your hospital jacket. “Please don’t be angry.” 

You wrenched your hand away.

“Well I am! I am angry! How can you say -”

“Stop it,” Obanai suddenly snapped. Both Mitsuri and you shot your eyes to where he was now standing up. His gaze had hardened, fists clenched by his side. “Don’t get mad at her. She did nothing wrong. We had two options: kill the demon or save your life. Now, I don’t know if you have some suicidal tendencies or something but we made our decision and we chose you. It’s up to you if you can accept that or not, but there’s no going back, so just stop.”

“Obanai…” Mitsuri whispered but he kept his steely glare directed at you. 

“That’s the problem,” you hissed, recovering from your initial shock. Out of all the hashira, Iguro was one of the quietest - rarely did he raise his voice or get angry like this. Nevermind that though, the beating in your head and the irritation you felt urged you on. “You made a dumb choice. That demon is gonna go and he’s gonna kill hundreds of more people. Why? Because you had a severe lapse in judgement? Is that why, Obanai?” 

Obanai met your words head on, his eyes narrowing. 

“Maybe it was a dumb decision,” he growled. “But it was our decision. Mitsuri and I. We chose you. You were more important in that moment. What about that can’t you understand?” 

“Oh, I understand perfectly fine! I understand that there are two incompetent hashira among us that don’t understand where their priorities should lay. How's that for understanding?” 

Mitsuri gasped quietly next to you but you didn’t dare tear your gaze away from the serpent hashira. If you could have seen his mouth, you swore he’d have been sneering at you in this moment. You watched as he took a few deep breaths, eyes shutting in what looked like exasperation.

“You.” He declared lowly. “You are our priority. And I am not going to apologise for saving you. Nor is Mitsuri. So, get. over. it.” The last words sounded like they were spoken through gritted teeth. Your nostrils flared. 

“I am not your priority.” You argued, eyes blazing. 

“That is not up to you to decide.”

“No? Well I just did! If you think… “ you started, voice beginning to rise. “If you think that my life is more important than taking down Muzan, then you're delusional. You’re crazy!” 

“Do not put words in my mouth!” Obanai hissed back, Kaburamaru copying this sentiment. 

Your eyes shot open as you laughed mockingly. “I’m not putting anything but the truth in your mouth!” 

“Stop it!” Mitsuri cried, now standing as well. “Stop it, the both of you!” 

Both your heads whipped towards the pink haired girl, who now had her hands clasped together as if she were about to get on her knees and beg. 

“Mitsuri,” Obanai said softly, his tone doing a complete 180. “It’s her, not me.” 

It’s a miracle your neck didn’t break at the speed in which you turned to glower at him. Your throat, still not completely healed, scratched with every word. 

“Me? Are you kidding? It’s ME?” You were hysterical at this point.

Obanai didn’t concede. 

“I don’t understand what your problem is. Really. This is pointless. What you’re saying is pointless!”

You were going to murder this man. You were going to have to commit seppuku for the war crimes that you were about to commit against him.

“Why!” You finally exploded. “I just want to know why you think saving me was your priority! Especially, when we both know that the right thing to do would’ve been to ditch me and kill that son-of-a bitch!”

This time, Obanai didn’t respond. You were panting, glare prominent on your face. Your ribs were hurting and all the shouting hadn’t helped the headache you were sporting. Off to the side, Mitsuri whimpered.

“Tell her, Obanai,” she murmured. He glared at her, then at you.

“No.” He said.

“Tell her,” she urged again. 

You could quickly feel the rage swelling in your belly.

“Tell me what?” you croaked, voice ran raw. You wanted to shout and scream and demand answers, but you were so tired. 

Obanai stayed quiet. Your eyes darted to Mitsuri now, who squeaked at whatever she saw in your gaze. Her hands fumbled nervously with the front of her uniform, teeth gnawing on her bottom lip. She shot a look at Obanai.

“We, um…” she started. On your other side, Obanai said something quietly. You didn’t hear, but Mitsuri clearly did as she grew a determined look on her face. 

“‘Suri…”  You warned.

No one spoke for a moment, before…

“We love you!” Mitsuri wailed, volume going unchecked as her face turned as red as hot coal. 

You blinked, suddenly stumped for words. “Huh, you mean…Huh?” 

Mitsuri started to cry again for whatever reason. You could only stare dumbly.

“I love you,” Mitsuri babbled between sobs. “He loves you too but he won’t say it!” She continued to cry. 

When you looked back at Obanai, he refused to meet your eye. 

A sudden knock on the door shocked you out of your stupor. Shinobu peeked her head inside, but immediately stopped as she took in all of your faces. Without a word, she quickly retreated, door slamming shut.

The room went dead silent, aside from Mitsuri’s quiet sniffles as she tried to gain control over her emotions. 

Slowly, you started to speak, directing your words at Obanai as you did.

“Tell me that’s not true. It’s just Mitsuri being Mitsuri, right? Right.” He still didn’t look at you, silently shaking his head. You felt your chin wobble. “Don’t say that,” you protested. “Don’t say that!” You grew angry again, poking a finger into the snake pillar's chest. Your body turned to Mitsuri. “‘Suri you don’t mean that. Don’t say that, please. Please.” 

She only smiled sadly. One of her hands reached out as if to comfort you, but you backed away into the pillow behind you. Your eyes widened in horror. 

“Get out,” you crowed. “Get out, now!” 

“What?” Mitsuri whispered.

“Get out of my room.” You stated, curling in on yourself. Mitsuri stepped forward, looking as though she didn’t know what to do with herself. Her eyes stared into yours, but it was like she wasn’t actually seeing you. 

“You don’t mean that. You’re just tired, you need time to recover. You don’t… After everything, you can’t possibly mean to say…” 

You choked on a sob, pulling the blankets higher over you. Bound by the cast, you did what you could to turn away from the both of them. Mitsuri said your name one last time but you covered your ears, tears finally springing into your eyes. 

“Get out…” you murmured, too tired to do anything. Too tired to beg or yell or cry. 

You heard as Obanai moved, saying something quietly to Mitsuri. Footsteps, then the door to your room closed and you were left all alone again. 

Alone.

Maybe that’s all you’d ever be. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Do we want a part two to this? I kinda do lol