THE MERCS- DO WE LET THEM COOK?
(or just a bunch of cooking headcannons for everyone lmao)
Scout
Scout can't cook very complex things, usually just relies on MannCo rations and copious amounts of bonk to get himself through the day. Occasionally he'll find himself a packet cake mix, bake cupcakes and chuck it in the fridge with a sign that says "SCOUTS DON'T TOUCH". Either nobody can read his handwriting or they don't care because they're usually gone by the end of the day.
Pyro
Don't let them anywhere near the stove. The fire is more entertaining to them than the cooking. Would probably taste decent if it wasn't burnt.
Soldier
Soldier survives exclusively off MannCo food, stuff cooked for him and War rations. Doesn't matter how far back its from, how expired it is, hes chugging down ration packs from Vietnam, WW2, WW1 even. Kinda shit you'd see on Mrs Fallout. He has a stomach of steel and has yet to get sick from anything that he's eaten. Medic is confused and intrigued. Has yet to cut open soldier to see whats going on in there.
Demoman
You know those white woman kitchen signs that say things like "i cook with wine. sometimes i even put it in the food!". That's Demo. He makes nice meals that are heavy and comforting but the wine has not been cooked off in the slightest. A little more than a food coma may ensue.
Heavy
Fat stews. And they're so good and warm and delicious when its cold. But after the 5th day of eating nothing but the same stew it gets a bit boring. Heavy's used to cooking for people with bigger appetites.
Engineer
He often forgets to cook or eat, being too caught up in his work. The team has to drag him out of his workshop. Although whatever the fuck is wrong with him be damned my boy can work a grill. Usually one of the better nights on base when it's Engie's turn to cook.
Medic
Banned from the kitchen. Not a practical question of "can he cook" but an ethical question of "should he cook". Like yeah, the food tastes fine, but halfway through the meal he starts asking about side effects and now nobody's hungry.
Sniper
Nothing flashy, but good at making something decent out of not much. Tinned foods and long life things are his jam. Think of the sort of thing you'd eat while on a camping trip.
Spy
Spy can cook, except he will cook one serving and if you ask why he'll tell you that you should have told him that you wanted him to make dinner for the team and not just himself. Besides, he buys the ingredients with his own money. MannCo rations will not suffice. Sometimes he'll sneak off base to go to restaurants, but not often as there aren't many in the area.
germansingergirl
blakekathryn
snowghoul
jacobvanloon
theartofmadeline
gummygunk
dailybridgerton
vaporwave