Sivi˙⋆✮

My toxic trait of occupying myself with a lot of work altogether so that I don't get lost in my thoughts. I am tired? Yes. Do I need a break? I do. But I refuse to do that because I carry a lot of pent up emotions, I carry guilt, I carry regret and I carry grief. My emotions and thoughts feel like a tangled yarn, with no free end. I don't have the energy to sit and untangle all of them, because I know I'll end up breaking the threads of the yarn. I miss myself, the version of me who could breathe freely without tears welling up in my eyes the moment I took a deep breath. I miss doing the things which I once loved. When I sit with those very things, I feel a detachment. I feel detached from my roots, my core.