Whatever I want

   For years I've had problems with self harm, well more of a problem with quitting it. Alot of things trigger me, and it gets to a point where the only thing I can think of is hurting myself, mainly cutting. I use to do it on a daily basis, but after I started going deeper I realised that I wanted to quit doing it. So for almost 3 years I've been trying to quit but I always relapsed after afew months. The relapses are usually bad and I end up kind of 'binging'.    The scars cover my thighs so much that when I sit with my legs together all I see is white lines up until the point where shorts would cover. Only 2.5 inches or so are left untouched, mainly so I can wear shorts and don't have to worry about them ridding up and showing every one my scars. I'm scared that if I keep doing this that I'll turn my legs into what my shoulder looks like,  or that I'll run out of easily hidable space       But today is my 2 week clean mark. I've said this before, many times. I'm trying again, starting the count from the day after I last picked up a blade. So wish me luck on this cause I'll need it.

Once again I am posting this later than I had planned, 2 days later. I just haven't felt like going on Tumblr or talking very much lately. So this week the scales spoke and said I've lost a pound. I'm 126.0 pounds now. One pound better than last week. Since I'm getting impatient with how long this is all taking, I'm going to be trying alot harder in September. I made a new calorie limit, looked up new exercises, and should be able to get almost all healthy foods.