Stranger

“I do love you and we’ve known each other since we were 16 and I have never once seen you look awful.”

        “Because you’re growing babies, which takes a lot of energy and you’re stressed. Regardless, you look beautiful.”

@kevin-howarth

“It’s insane. I literally went through two jars last week. I was hoping the craving would go away after a bit, but it’s only gotten worse with each passing week.”

“God I know. I feel like I’m just this huge whale that just wants to fart and eat peanut butter all day.”

“Oh gosh, I can’t even imagine. How far along are you? If you don’t mind me asking.”

      “oh, um… okay… I’m sorry. I’ll just… see myself out.”

     “Yeah! And an ovary since they’re hermaphroditic! Honestly, they’re really cool. Actually, the reason they stick to boats is because, during their larval stage, they produce this cement-like substance in their ovary that they secrete through their antennae. It’s actually an incredibly strong adhesive.”

     “I’m doing research for a lesson on barnacles, and since they have the largest penis in relation to body size, a lot of information available on them is about their penises.”

      “Please distract me, I just read way too much about barnacle penises.”

      “That’s still impressive. I could never do it. And congratulations on finally being married!”