corazawn

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR CH.109 OF KOT! I’ll be referring to the translation by @tessenpai​​ if you haven’t read it yet you can find it here

Hello, I am dying, and have been all day, but in a good way. I’ve been freaking out for many hours now, but the more I think about this chapter, the more I have to freak out about.

This chapter was fluff galore. So many funny moments and all my babies were smiling so much, but there was also some serious emotion. I laughed so much I literally almost cried. This might be my new favorite chapter, not that I have only one favorite chapter but all of it was just so amazing! I’m so emotional right now

Anyway, let’s start off with my almost obligatory section of “reading way too much into the title of the chapter.” But like, “Words of Dawn” how freakin poetic is that? To me this applies to the dawn of a new side of relationships. Obviously for Chika and Satowa this applies, like the dawn of a romantic relationship possibly. Or at least the words that finally make them realize they both love each other. I just can’t get over the fact that they both now know that they love each other! But I also think quite literally it dawned on Satowa that Chika feels the same way about her as she does him, so yeah. I also think this applies somewhat to Momoya, maybe. Like, he’s turning over a new leaf with the club and is getting more comfortable with being close to them. Like, parallel him staying over at Tetsuki’s place this chapter with the way he was at practice camp and it’s really different. And, now the club has really secured their chance at Nationals, too, so there’s a lot of hope with this chapter. Overall, the title of the chapter just gives off a really hopeful, almost new beginnings type of feel, and it works really well for the chapter.

So, the majority of the chapter is spent checking in between the girls’ sleepover and the guys’ sleepover. Before that we have a great conversation between Chika and Momoya that gives off such brotherly vibes, but honestly all the second years with Momoya gave off such brotherly vibes and I’m such a sucker for that. I’m so relieved that Uzuki said he really wouldn’t mess with Chika or the club again, like I know at this point that arc is pretty much done with, and we’re in the aftermath of it, but I still like the reassurance. I love Momoya’s entire inner monologue about Uzuki, it shows how deeply he really understands the situation and his emotional maturity. “Sei’s issues have nothing to do with Kudo-senpai. I am sure the only one who would find comfort in an apology would be Sei.” Momoya is really trying to find his place in all this, and it requires a deep understanding of several different people to realize that the above quote is true. I think Momoya is handling the situation pretty well except for the fact that he is yet another club member who thinks he’s just a burden to the club.

I am so here for the boys teasing the hell out of Momoya. I loved it so much, and I need to see more of it from now on. It’s so funny that Yoshinaga is so bad at tests and so everyone pushes him onto Momoya for tutoring and Momoya is absolutely like you’ve got to be kidding me with how bad your grades are. It really does feel like Momoya’s being himself with the group more, and I really like seeing it. And I love how the group reassures Momoya that they want him there by just teasing him a ton. Sane joking about how much Momoya must love them was so hilarious, and I’m not getting over any of it any time soon. When they compared him to an abandoned puppy, perfect. Momoya realizing that he can be himself and that they’ll still be there for him, and if he’s ever lame they’ll laugh about it and him realizing that that’s how they care for people and accepting it was quite touching. And I just love seeing all of them smile and have fun with each other, because it feels like it’s been ages. Like, Chika didn’t cry this entire chapter. It looks like he teared up towards the end maybe, I can’t really see clearly, but my boy was just so happy.

I loved seeing the girls have a study session and sleepover of their own, and I love Satowa and Hiro’s friendship so much, so seeing moments like this is so nice. Both Hiro and Satowa saying that they were just worried about the club falling apart and that they’re happy everyone stuck together made me so emotional. Like, that really was the thing that scared them most and if anything everyone became even closer.

Hiro is a straight up mood and so damn relatable when it comes to all the talk about Satowa’s confession, and Chika’s confession later on. I feel like Chika and Satowa are those types of people that are so hard on themselves but absolutely will not let anyone else be hard on themselves, which is kind of a random thought but what made me think of it is that Satowa absolutely would not stand by as people told Chika he was unlovable, and yet she is also doubting herself big time and that her love means anything to him. I love that this is the depiction of Chika being super normal with Satowa

Like, it’s just so damn funny to me. And Satowa trying not to be a burden to the club by convincing herself that even if her confession didn’t mean anything to Chika then she’d still be fine. Like, I don’t think Satowa was really thinking about the aftermath when she confessed, she just knew she had to say what she felt. And though I don’t think she really expects much from Chika (I’ll get into some of this more later) I also don’t think she expected everything to go back to normal without even talking about it. Because while she may not have expected anything from Chika in return, what she said meant something to her and now she’s worried it didn’t mean much to him. I love what Satowa says though, about how Chika got his smile back and the club is at peace. Once again though, Satowa is putting club stuff above her own emotions, and I think she’s honestly just relieved about it all and glad that Chika’s happy again but pushing her own feelings to the side.

Then we have Satowa bringing up how Hiro likes Takezou, which is just great! I’d always thought that Satowa figured out who it was Hiro liked, so I’m happy they finally talked about it. Hiro just getting all flustered now that they’re talking about who she likes. I love, really love, that the only person in the club the girls are worried about having figured things out is Momoya. They’re not even worried about the rest of the club members, but they single out Momoya as the one person who might know, and I just think that’s absolutely hilarious. Like “Oh, no, am I easy to read? Has anyone figured it out? *thinks about everyone in the club* Maybe I’m good. Oh, no, wait, Momoya can read people well and isn’t an idiot!” But it also brings up the interesting question of if Momoya has realized Takezou and Hiro like each other. Like, Momoya has known since like ch.69 when Chika gave Satowa the flower that those two have liked each other, but I’ve never thought about whether he also knew about Hiro and Takezou.

Random note, I love how much the manga is pushing the fact that Chika really can’t sleep without cuddling something, it gives us such wonderful moments.

I haven’t said this before because I really hate how Momoya spoke about women for a while, but now that he’s become closer to the club and isn’t making those comments anymore, I’d honestly like to see more of a friendship between Momoya, Satowa, and Hiro. I feel like Satowa and Momoya could get along quite well and they all spend so much time together that I’d like to see those friendships developed a bit more.

I love how when Sane, Kota, and Mittsu all want to watch the video Satowa took of the whole Uzuki incident Chika at first was fine with it and then remembered that he’d said he wanted to be with everyone and got all embarrassed, but later on literally confesses to Satowa in front of their entire friend group without even blushing. Like, he really is not at all afraid of telling everyone how he feels about Satowa.

I’m so happy everyone is officially going to Nationals!!! Like, logically I knew the story was leading up to it but damn did it still make me worry.

I’m also happy there are still a couple weeks left until Nationals, because I am not prepared for that arc yet. I’m really still hoping we get a conversation between Chika and Satowa when they’re alone, because they still need to talk, even more so after this chapter.

Even after this chapter, it’s still up in the air what will happen with Chika and Satowa’s relationship status, but I think that it’s really important that Chika and Satowa both talk about it and get to a place where they can play to the best of their abilities in Nationals because if anything is off between them it will definitely affect the performance. And, vice versa, it will definitely affect the performance in a good way if they’ve accepted their feelings. I still think there’s a good chance that they’ll wait until after Nationals to actually get together as a couple, but I think the most important thing really, whether they get together before or after Nationals, is that they both get to a good place with each other and mutually agree on a decision as to what to do together.

As everyone is still celebrating, however, the video is still playing, and Satowa’s confession rings out loud and clear for the entire club to hear.

Everyone’s reactions (except Satowa’s in my opinion) are hilarious. But I love so much how Chika and Satowa immediately look to each other. Meanwhile, everyone starts freaking out. Poor Satowa, I cringed so hard for her. Takezou jumping to the rescue being like “Me too! I love Kudo-kun” I lost my shit at that. Like, everyone’s so precious in trying to jump to Satowa’s rescue and not make it awkward, “Look at that, we all love Chika.” Meanwhile Chika, who knows what Satowa really meant and wants to reciprocate those feelings, is looking around like “oh this is nice and awkward I guess but that’s not how she meant it” and keeps looking back at her. Satowa’s insecurities start to get to her big time. She thinks she’s ruined the atmosphere of the club, that she’s burdened them and made everything awkward at such an important time. My heart kinda broke when I realized how much of her freak out came from being worried about ruining the club. Then, through the chaos, Chika gets her attention, and she’s so damn worried and nervous and upset, and he just smiles and says he loves her too, in the exact same way that she told him.

This moment between them. His smile. He’s so damn happy as he’s telling her he loves her. I can’t believe my baby just did that! I definitely thought, as I think a lot of us did, that Chika would need more time and that we’d kind of see him starting to realize that he loves her and has for a while. I thought there’d be a whole “Oh shit” kind of freak out before he realizes how much he loves her and how happy he is about it. But he just straight up confessed, because he is so sure. If anything, I think Satowa was like “oh shit, wait, he loves me back?!? I didn’t actually plan for this” I loved everyone’s shocked but happy reactions. Even Momoya’s smiling for these dumbasses. I love that Momoya smiled quite a bit in this chapter, like genuinely smiled.

There are almost two big categories as to why I love this confession. 1. For the things it is. 2. For the things it’s not

I’ll start with the second category because it’s much shorter. I love how this wasn’t drawn out for ages. Ch.106 is her confession, and ch.109 is his. There was no misunderstanding as to what either of them meant, and even Satowa worrying about if it meant anything was quickly cleared up. There are many ways this confession, or the lack of a confession, could quickly turn into an annoyance, but it didn’t. Hell, the longest conflict/awkward time between Chika and Satowa I can think of only lasted 3 chapter (ch.29-31), and since then I feel they’ve gotten better at not letting things stay awkward because they mean too much to each other that it messes with them if they’re not talking. So, basically, even though this confession was very unexpected to me, I loved the way it was done, though we will have to see how the aftermath goes.

There are so, so many reasons I love this confession.

I’m so happy to see Chika not only let himself be loved but also let himself love other people. He’s now realized what he means to everyone, and can accept what Satowa means to him. So far, he’s really following through on what his grandfather told him about grasping onto happiness. He’s really going for it, smiling up a storm.

And for those of you worried that he didn’t actually mean love in the same way she definitely did, I really don’t think that’s the case. I think Chika understood what Satowa said in ch.106, and the way he called out to her and then told specifically her that he really loves her, too, which directly parallels the way she said it to him. Not to mention everyone’s reactions to what was said. This was not a friendship kind of love, and Chika may be dense but he knew what he was saying, everyone did. I include this paragraph because I was worried at first, too, but after reading the chapter for myself and even just looking at it I think it becomes pretty obvious.

I keep thinking back to this moment at the end of ch.89 and beginning of ch.90. Much like in ch.90, now, once again, Chika and Satowa’s emotions have kind of come seeping out and they have to face them in some way. They had a chance in the new chapter to do what they’ve done before and try to sweep it under the rug. Chika could’ve kept telling himself he wasn’t good enough for Satowa or didn’t deserve her even if she does love him back, but he didn’t. Instead of trying to hide his feelings or feeling ashamed about them, he very clearly told Satowa that he loves her, just as she told him. In ch.90, neither of them were ready to face how they felt about each other. But in ch.109, Satowa has already confessed and meant it and she’s not taking it back, and Chika is also ready to express the fact that he loves her. With all the stuff that happened recently with Uzuki, Chika is finally realizing that the people around him care about him and want to be with him, so in turn he’s allowing himself to care about them and get even closer and hopefully beginning to think himself deserving of their love so he can love them back fully. Instead of thinking only of how he might hurt them or be bad for them, he’s allowing himself to love Satowa back, and he’s just so happy about it and has come such a long way.

I’m interested to hear what else Chika has to say, but I’m also super interested in what Satowa’s reaction is really going to be. Obviously when she confessed to Chika, she wasn’t really thinking about the aftermath of it, she said it in the moment and that was that. And even afterwards, with her and Hiro’s conversation, Satowa wasn’t expecting Chika to reciprocate necessarily. While Satowa has known about her own feelings for a while, I don’t think she’s ever really opened herself up to the idea that Chika could feel the same way, hence her being so dense in the ch.90 incident. When Chika said that he basically wants to put his hands on her all the time, I think her mind went to violence because it genuinely didn’t even occur to her that Chika might feel the same way about her as she does him. She didn’t think that that could be romantic in any way because she hadn’t opened herself up to the possibility that Chika could love her back. I really think that’s why Satowa didn’t figure out Chika’s feelings in ch.90, because she was so caught up in her own feelings and not letting them ruin everything she didn’t think of his side of it and just assumed he saw her as only a friend and nothing more. Also, she can be just as dense as Chika sometimes.

So even now, after having confessed her own feelings in ch.106, I don’t know what she was expecting Chika to say or do or think in response to that. I don’t think she was really expecting him to reciprocate her feelings, much less confidently in front of everyone. Much like Chika is with people, Satowa is also afraid of hurting people and is very worried about being a burden and causing problems for the club. In her eyes she keeps making Chika apologize for things, she can’t forgive herself for the way she treated him at first (that ch.104 moment still really kills me), so I really don’t know how she thought Chika felt about her. With the club, she truly thought her confession, her letting herself express her emotions she was so afraid to express, could ruin everything. And then Chika confessed, so I’m really interested to see more of her reaction to him saying he loves her, especially after she’d been doubting herself because of how normal things were between them.

I also somewhat wonder whether the reason why things were so normal between them is because Chika realized he’s loved her for a long time and after he realized that he just kind of acted like he always had just without denying that he loves her?

I can’t believe that I love two confessions so much even though they both happened in front of an entire group of people. Usually, I like stuff like this to be talked about privately between two characters, and I still want a one on one conversation between them, but both of these confessions happened in front of a group of people and they were both great confessions. At least with Chika’s confession the group of people actually care about them and didn’t want to, oh I don’t know, hit them with a pipe afterwards. (still so happy I don’t have to look at Uzuki’s face much any more)

But this is a good way to avoid having to figure out how to tell the club about things. Just let the big developments happen in front of them and then you won’t have to explain them later.

I love that Chika saw how worried and embarrassed Satowa was when everyone heard her confession, and just decided to tell her right back, right then and there, almost as an assurance she didn’t ruin anything.

I’m still processing all of this, but I really love how their confessions to each other contrast each other but work so incredibly well for each of them. For each person, I think they heard that statement of love in a moment where they needed it, and I think the circumstances around why the person said it was perfect for each person. For Satowa, I think it was important to have that moment of her defending that love, of her realizing there was nothing wrong with it in the face of the reality of the world. She loves him, there’s nothing wrong with that, and she’s going to do what she can to protect him. For Chika with his confession, I think it was important that it was a moment of peace, not conflict. Satowa’s confession was her finally overcoming her internal conflict with her own emotions because she was pushed to express them from outside circumstances. Those circumstances helped her realize that she needed to express those emotions and that they were nothing to be ashamed of, that they weren’t just a burden, and that Chika needed to hear them. Chika’s confession was so peaceful, and he was entirely sure of himself. Satowa was sure of herself too, but she said it almost to prove that her actions were justified because she loves him and to prove that someone can deeply love Chika. Satowa’s confession was her exclaiming to a world of people who didn’t truly care for Chika that he could be loved. For Chika, it was a simple moment. He didn’t feel any stress over it. He expressed his feelings with the same words she did, but he didn’t have to fight for it or prove it. He could just grasp onto to what makes him happy without feeling the need to deny himself of his feelings or desires or let anyone else stand in the way. I adore both confessions, by the way, but I think the way both happened were important for the characters for different reasons and they were said at times the other needed to hear it. For Satowa’s confession things were very dramatic and there were a lot of strong emotions already happening when she came in with her strong emotion, whereas with Chika’s confession they just locked eyes and he said it. He said it because it came up and that’s how he feels and because Satowa seemingly needed to hear it in that moment. I don’t understand how this manga can be this amazing! Like, truly

Chika has fought so long and hard for the people he cares about and doesn’t always think he’s deserving of their love or just doesn’t want to cause them trouble. Now that Chika has been through all that stuff with Uzuki and had so many realizations, I love that his confession is a reflection of how comfortable Chika has gotten with some things already. He says he loves her in front of everyone, knowing full well what he’s saying. Satowa is so concerned over it all, and just the way he smiles at her. He’s so in love and happy about it, and apparently very readily expressing that. He hasn’t had to defend it, he isn’t telling himself that he can’t love her for this or that reason (because he hasn’t caught up to her, because Nationals is coming, whatever the reason may be) he’s in love and happy about it and I don’t think he has much internal conflict over it. I love how he just immediately looks over to her and watches her reaction when the video plays. I think he knew she meant what she said, but I think her reaction to the club hearing it was even more confirmation that she really does love him and he’s so happy to tell her he feels the same way. These idiot lovebirds, I love them so much!

I’m really interested and already dying a little from embarrassment thinking about what the aftermath of this is gonna look like. I am not at all ready for Nationals to start yet, at least not before Chika and Satowa have a one on one conversation because they still definitely need that. People also still need to figure out how they’re playing this song, because last time I checked “I” was still kind of a mess. I really want to see how Chika and Satowa figure out their solos and duet together after this. I’m really interested to see where they go from here and how they choose to go on from this moment. I’m also excited for Tetsuki to find out what happened.

New collaboration between JoJo and OUTDOOR just announced!

Pre-orders: Jan 27th to Mar 13th, 2022 Estimated shipping date: June, 2022 Price: 9,900¥ each bag

I absolutely love Chika and Satowa's relationship, to the point, it's probably the one I like most in manga. There are several reasons for that: The respect they have for each other, the understanding, the deep care... The way Amu-sensei has developed it over the years makes it one of the best slow-burn romances I've ever seen, one in which it never feels like it's dragging you along. No, they are not an official pair as of yet, but the process and the growth we witness as readers is so beautiful in itself, so inevitable, that you just enjoy every second of the ride.

This topic has come up recently in the Discord KOT server, and I must say it was such an interesting conversation that I had to write a post organizing my thoughts about it.

Skinship is something that any romance fan swoons about. We all love a hug, a caress, a sign of affection when we see our OTP. Skinship is especially important in Chika and Satowa's relationship, and it is something that has developed splendidly while revealing some other complicated stuff.

Going back to chapter 2, Chika and Satowa's first impressions of each other was... not ideal. They fought all the time and didn't seem to see eye to eye. That of course changes throughout the manga, as we all know. However, the skinship between the two, and the meaning of touching each other also changes dramatically.

In the early chapters of Kono Oto Tomare! neither of them seems to feel like touching each other is much of a big deal, yes he notices that her hand is small, but what really interests him is how her hands show her hard work. Touching her, at this point, doesn't really hold any romantic feelings on either side. He even takes care of her fever and stays over at her place, and it was no biggie!! But then a change commences happening.

The first one to change is Satowa. She starts to get to know Chika better, and learns about his kindness and his dedication to Koto, as well as how caring he is towards his friends (took care of her when she was sick, told her she could talk about her family situation whenever she was ready, pushed her to have lunch with her school friends...), Satowa starts being aware of Chika as a man. Things that before wouldn't face her, now feel completely different for her

Chika, on the other hand, still seems fairly unaffected by physical contact with Satowa at this point. He is not a guy that goes out of his way to touch people and is not a touchy-feely person anyways. However, when Satowa falls on his arms and very much reacts, Chika doesn't know what to make of that and mistakes her reaction with anger/embarrassment. When Sane comes through the door and sees them in that position, he scolds Chika, but Chika isn't really listening to him and instead is trying to understand the reason for her reaction. In the end, he concludes he must have touched her breast on accident and decides to receive Sane's punishment in silence. Because for him there is no other reason for her to react that way... it was a very innocent exchange on his part after all.

It all changes after The Incident. Yes, it requires capital letters and bold cursive letters, because when Chika's lips end up in Satowa's brow, a huge turn is made in their relationship. It was a very innocent accident. No real meaning behind it. But at this point, Satowa, who was doing fine in ignoring the awareness and keeping Chika as only a friend and clubmate, is unable to do so any longer. She didn't expect it, and she did not know how to react to it. For her, it was not only physical awareness anymore. And she had no way to ignore the feelings that were developing towards him.... although she gave it an honest try there, much to Chika's dismay, who couldn't understand why Satowa was suddenly avoiding him.

Let's take a moment to remember Chika is a kid that grew up with a parent that blamed him for everything that went wrong in his life, he was blamed for the trashing of his grandfather's shop, and he carries a lot of self-blame for his gang days when he used to hurt people on the daily with his fists. So of course, the only reason he can think for Satowa's sudden avoidance is that he must have hurt her. Tetsuki, an innocent bystander, tries to be a supportive friend and recommends Chika to give her time.

You see, ever since he first heard Satowa play the koto, Chika has had as a goal to be able to stand by her side. For him, there is no one above her in the koto world and, the way I see it, Chika believes that if he can be acknowledged as fit to be a koto player by her side, then without a doubt he has earned the right to play it. After all, if he caught up to the person he most admires, anyone who said differently was not worth listening to. So when suddenly Satowa pushes him away, not only is he surprised, but he is hurt and lost.

After the school festival, Satowa is able to put in order her feelings. Hiro does this by "turning her feelings into her strength". Satowa's way leans more towards "the competition is near and I can not be distracted by these feelings. I don't even know what they are and I don't want to think about it. Koto and club come first anyways". Chika is giddy that their dynamic is back to normal. She has "forgiven" him and is not avoiding him anymore.

As with music, Chika is a step behind Satowa when it comes to the milestones in their relationship. While Satowa was very much aware of Chika as a guy, he just admired her as a musician. But The Incident not only was a turning point for Satowa in realizing her feelings... But for Chika as well to start being very much aware of Satowa.

It is interesting to see the difference in this awareness compared to Satowa's. I believe Chika's feelings go hand in hand with his admiration towards her. The more he admires her, the more she observes her, and as a consequence feelings develop. But with that comes one thing Satowa did not have: the urge to touch. Satowa was always aware of why she was flustered and of course, would not willingly put herself in a situation where she would not be able to handle her feelings (by touching him). Chika on the other hand does not really understand the why of his sudden impulses, but he is VERY aware he has them... Because he needs to control them or otherwise Satowa could start avoiding him again.

He becomes acutely aware of wanting to touch Satowa all the time because he fears her rejection. He fears he can no longer be by her side if he gives in to his impulses. And we see several examples of this happening.

Chika, in fact, believes him touching her makes her scared/uncomfortable with him. So any time he does end up touching her, he is very scared he has hurt her or scared her because he was careless.

In this second incident, Satowa for the first time assures him that she is NOT scared of him. Granted, she was surprised, but not SCARED. "We spend all the time together, I am not scared of you in any way". And the relief Chika feels by her words is so sweet! He did not hurt her or scare her in any way, and she is not pulling away!! But of course, this was just an accident, not Chika actively giving in to his impulses. So he STILL has to control himself.

This second incident lets us know where Satowa stands where skinship with Chika is involved. What she says while running IS significant: "When you don't even know how I feel---". The problem is not Chika touching her (even though hugging/cuddling in bed might have been a little too much too soon for her), but the fact that that touch does not mean the same for him. From Satowa's perspective, Chika is still unaffected by the physical touch, while SHE IS IN LOVE WITH THE GUY and can barely contain her feelings as it is. Little does she know Chika does think touching her is a huge deal. To be clear, boy can barely keep his hands to himself half of the time. And only because the other half his hands are busy playing the koto.

And then, The Third Incident happens. It is so huge it shall be referred to as TTI. Yes, it gets it's own acronym:

There is so much to analyze here. Oh boy. I'm going to give it my best attempt.

First off, this scene is parallel to the first time they touched (the first pic in this post). We have come a long way since then... They were two strangers at that time... In fact, they didn't really like each other. But now... They VERY MUCH like each other now. While Chika only knows he wants to touch her so bad that he has to stop himself from doing it because he does not think it would be welcomed, Satowa is aware of her own feelings and Chika's and does not find his touch unwelcome per se... is just that it would be better if they were on the same page as of what it makes her feel. What a catastrophic combination, because as a result Chika pushes her hand away, and Satowa thinks he is rejecting her. And when they are at granny's it all blows out.

Satowa is unsettled because he is suddenly physically rejecting her. Chika is once again scared of having hurt her. And he says aloud what his problem is: "It's for me, so I don't put my hands on you all the time".

Satowa... didn't really get his meaning. We all collectively facepalmed with Hiro and went together to scream into the void when Satowa said "Don't lie, you are not the kind of person who hits girls". But she DID get what he said afterward, or more like, what he did NOT say. When Chika apologized and stated he was "the germ", Satowa was absolutely heartbroken that her attitude made Chika apologize and think he had done some terrible thing to her. So the next day, and after reflecting on what to do with her feelings to not hurt him nor the club anymore, she tells him that he didn't do anything wrong that the TV program put her on edge and she dumped it on him. That he has never made her feel uncomfortable, not at all.

While, as an audience, we tend to focus more on Satowa in this scene, and how she is going by what Hiro went through when she tried to suppress her feelings for the sake of the club, this is a deal changer for Chika. And it's EVEN MORE of a deal changer after going to Satowa's house.

Remember when I said Chika is always one step behind Satowa?

Well, it's still true:

These panels have so much significance... Chiharu asked Chika what he thinks of Satowa... And we can follow Chika's train of thought and how he derails it. He can only think about her when she received that flower, that moment when he could barely contain himself from dragging her to him... and then the "Win the Nationals" club poster flashes through his mind. Chika is not exactly the same as Satowa here. Satowa knew in a way what was going on with her but didn't want to acknowledge it. Chika on the other hand absolutely cuts that train of thought as soon as it goes in that direction. Is not that he doesn't want to acknowledge it... It's that he won't even allow himself to think about it. And it's to be expected from a guy who struggles to see himself as fit to play koto besides her... how to allow himself to openly be in love with her?

And somehow, Satowa gets it... Not that he is cutting the train of thought that leads to "I am in love with her", but the fact that he sees himself as below her. And she understands the only way for them to be together is for him to feel like they are on equal footing: "You have to catch up to me by Nationals. Catch up."

You see, in the same way The Incident made Satowa realize very real feelings were getting involved while for Chika it made him be aware of her physically, TTI let us see Satowa really wants Chika to be besides her... not just following behind her, while for Chika, is his moment to realize very real feelings are involved. See? One step behind. Hiro pushes Satowa even further when she helps her treasure those feelings instead of suppressing them.

But back to skinship... What did TTI do for their skinship? Well, after TTI Chika allows himself to touch her, and we can see him being more open on his protectiveness and how touching her, or her touching him brings him calm:

And post-TTI/conversation with Hiro, we have a Satowa who is very aware she is in love and fully embraces those feelings as something beautiful. Uzuki's incident has even pushed her to STOP letting go of Chika's hand, physically and metaphorically. This is not the Satowa who would cower because she could not handle her feelings when he touched her... this is the Satowa who will grab Chika's hand no matter what. And following the theme of "Chika being one step behind", I wouldn't be surprised if one of the conclusions of the current arc is Chika acknowledging the fact that he is in love with Satowa. Letting himself feel it, without derailing that train of thought.

That theme is also the reason I believe Satowa will be the one to confess first, pushing Chika on the final step for them to be on the end line (or start line depending on your perspective). But it could also be Chika the one to confess, representing him having caught up to her... Symbolism, symbolism everywhere.

BONUS TRACK: While rereading the whole manga to put in order my thoughts for this essay, I just find hilarious how Luka hugged Satowa out of nowhere and Chika went: "Oh heck no, I have to control myself all the time and this dude comes and does WHAT?". Then, Luka referred to Satowa without honorifics, and Chika was downright IRKED (Chika, you don't use honorifics for anyone sir...). Is worth noting Satowa uses honorifics for absolutely everyone except Chika. To be fair, everyone uses honorifics with her, except Chika.

To read the scans, use an AdBlocker to avoid NFSW content

Scans

Page 1

Chapter Title: #109 Words of Dawn

Chika: After what happened yesterday... Was everything alright on your end?

Side text: Chika taking care of Natsu...

Natsu: Kudo-senpai, good morning

Chika: Ou

Natsu: I'm sorry for not calling

Chika: That's alright

Momoya: ...I talked to Sei for a bit before his parents arrived.

Page 2

Natsu: He said that he won't approach Kudo-Senpai or the club anymore

Chika: ...I see

Natsu: ...

Natsu: Um, Kudo-senpai

Chika: Hm?

Natsu: -----

Natsu: Are you ok with exams coming up? They are almost here

Chika: You idiot

Page 3

Chika: Why would you suddenly pop such a terrifying question?

Chika: I completely forgot!

Natsu: Glad I was able to remind you before it was too late

Chika: You brat...

Natsu[thoughts]: "Would you give Sei a chance to apologize?"

Natsu[thoughts]: This is not something I can say.

Natsu[thoughts]: He destroyed everything important to him. Then framed his of that crime and exposed him to the world...

Page 4

Natsu[thoughts]: Sei's issues have nothing to do with Kudo-senpai.

Natsu[thoughts]: I am sure the only one who would find comfort in an apology would be Sei

Natsu[thoughts]: For me to stay in the club in the first place...

Chika: Hey, Momoya-kun

Chika: You got work today?

Natsu: Not really...

Chika: Great, then you are coming with me

Natsu: --Eh?

Page 5

Sfx: Tan

Sfx: Ta Dan

Mittsu: Introducing ☆ Tecchan & Takezou-senpai's intensive exams studying session!!!

Kouta: Give a warm welcome to Momoyan on his first participation!!!!!

Page 6

Sane: My sources have told me, that Momoya happens to have really good grades.

Mittsu: I have heart that just paying attention to class he has an average of 85 points.

Kota: He is at teacher's level. He is Momo-chan-sensei!!

Chika: With that being said, we leave Yoshinaga in your care.

Natsu: Nononono, what?

Sane: I'm sorry, Momoya, but the situation is dire. You see, Yoshinaga...

Sane: He said his average in middle school was 40 points, but when I calculated properly, I realized his average was actually 33 points, and 40 points was his best score.

Natsu: ...Are you freaking serious right now...?

Tetsuki: Kurata-senpai and I already got our hands full with this guys

Takezou: It would be really helpful if you could handle Yoshinaga-kun...

Page 7

Yoshinaga: I will be in your care!!!

Natsu: ...

Hiro: --Right about now, the guys must be in the middle of their studying session in Takaoka-kun's house.

Satowa: Momoya-kun and Yoshinaga-kun also joined them

Hiro: It's something I wouldn't have thought of when I met them.

Hiro: But really, I'm just glad we are not falling apart. That was what scared me the most...

Page 8

Satowa: Me too

Hiro: Hey, Hozuki-chan. Why don't stay sleep over?

Satowa: Eh?

Hiro: I will lend you a change of clothes

Satowa: I don't want to be a bother...

Hiro: Not at all! Moreover, I would happy!

Natsu: So, for now on Math. This, this, and also this. Drill them into your head.

Page 9

Atsumu: Yes!!

Natsu: You can just discard all of this

Atsumu: Eh!?

Natsu: The test is designed in a way you can get a pretty decent grade if you hold down the basics.

Mittsu: It feels like watching the old us with Tetsuki.

Chika: There were times like that for us as well...

Tetsuki: Why are you talking like it's any different now?

Atsumu: But Momoya-kun, you are so good at studying! I had no idea.

Natsu: Not really...

Atsumu: Ah, but if you think about it your brother also goes to Meiryo--...

Page 10

Chika: That's right, he does to Meiryo. So both brothers are smart, huh.

Kota: That!

Sane: Both my older sister and younger sister are good at studying tho--

Mittsu: By the way, didn't you have the option to enter Meiryo?

Natsu[thoughts]: I'm being a bother again...

Sane: What are you talking about Mittsu. If he did that then Momoya wouldn't have met us, whom he loves so much--

Mittsu: Ah there's that too!

Natsu: Eh? Us, whom he loves so much?

Page 11

Sane: Hm? You love us, right?

Natsu: ---...

Sane: I mean, after all

Sane: Just looking at your face when we discovered you were Uzuki's little brother. You looked like an abandoned puppy.

Kota: That!!! He was totally a puppy!!

Sane: He looked so heartbroken. That was the moment I thought "This guy really love us"

Kota: I feel you!!

Mittsu: I should have taken a picture of that...

Page 12

Natsu: ----guh...

Sane: Momoyaa!! What is this, you are completely red!!! Bahahahaha

Sane: I am so sorry-- I was absolutely right in everything I said!!!

Kota: Momoyan is blushing---

Mittsu: Yes! I took a picture!!!

Natsu: Wai- Sto-

Sane: Hey, look over here Momoya.

Natsu: Stop it, damn it!!

Page 13

Sane: That's no way to talk to your seniors!

Natsu: Leave me be!!

Sane[flashback]: You too, if you need something, lemme know.

Sane[flashback]: Moreover, I'd like if you showed a bit more your lame side!

Page 14

Natsu[thoughts]: ...Ah- Dammit...

Sane[flashback]: We will make sure to laugh at you about it.

Hiro: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH

Page 15

Hiro: You told Chika-kun that you like him!!? That you LIKE him!!??

Satowa: Hi-Hi-Hiro-senpai shhh, shhh!!

Hiro: Aaaaah, so-so-sorry

Hiro: Something unimaginable suddenly just happened, my heart cannot take it.

Satowa: I am sorry.

Satowa: I didn't expect it would turn out that way either...

Satowa: Those guys just kept going on about how Kudo was lonely and not loved by anyone. And Kudo too was just accepting that...

Satowa: ...I got really angry

Page 16

Hiro: And what did Kudo-kun say?

Satowa: Just after that you guys came to help us

Hiro: aaaah, I see...

Satowa: But today he acter suuuuper normal, too. He might have forgotten already.

Hiro: No, there's no way...

Satowa[thoughts]: That too might not have held any special meaning after all...

Satowa: Even so, I am ok with it.

Satowa: It's such an important time before the tournament. Kudo was able to regain his smile. If the club is at peace, then that is enough for me

Page 17

Satowa: Speaking of, Hiro-senpai do you plan on confessing to Takezou-senpai...?

Hiro: ...Eh? Di- Did I ever sa-sa-say that the person I like is Kurata?

Satowa: Ah, no... I kinda thought that must be the case... Since you said Takinami-sensei found you out...

Hiro: No way--!!! I am so easy to read!? Does everyone else know!!?

Satowa: Ah, no... I don't think the guys have realized...

Hiro: Isn't Momoya-kun really good at reading people?

Satowa: Geh... Bu- But Momoya would keep it to himself...

Page 18

Hiro: Aaaaaaah---- but I see... aaaaah---

Satowa: I- I am sorry?

Hiro: No...

Hiro: I am happy.

Hiro: The truth is, I have always wanted to have this kind of love talk with you, Hozuki-chan

Hiro: Eeeh--- That kind of thing happened!?

Mittsu: Tetsuki's curry is delicious, right--?

Page 19

Hiro: We got too caught up talking---

Natsu: Your answer columns are off

???: Chika fell asleep---

Hiro: Is the size alright?

Kota: rock scissors paper to decide bath order!

Natsu: Wait, are we staying overnight?

Sane: Of course!

Kota: ---Huh?

Kota: Momoya fell asleep?

Sane: Yeah-- so it seems.

Page 20

Kota: Even though he kept saying that he never slept at other people's houses

Mittsu: Our voices must have been like a lullaby

Sane: Shold we paint on his face?

Takezou: He must have been really relieved

Takezou: What happened this time must have been tough on Momoya-kun.

Sane: That's right

Chika: But my plushy...

Tetsuki: It's not yours, to begin with

Chika: I cannot sleep without it

Tetsuki: Just hug a normal pillow

Page 21

*No text*

Page 22

San-baka: Yes!!! We all passed our tests!

Kota/Mittsu: We did it, we did it!!

Atsumu: Momoya-kun, I got 40 points in everything!!

Momoya: ...I see

Sane: Yoshinaga is a loyal follower of Chikaism

Hiro: That's a relief!

Takezou: Yeah. There's only the matter of whether we are allowed to go to the Nationals or not left

Sane: It's fine! There's also have that proof video that Hozuki-san took!

Kota: Speaking of--- I haven't seen that video yet. What kind of video is it?

Satowa: What kind, you say...

Page 23

Kota: I wanna see, I wanna see!

Satowa: Umm...

Natsu: It's fine by me

Chika: It's not like anything interesting happened...

Chika[flashback]: I want to be with them.

Kota: Eeeh this is really well taken!

Hiro: The Hozuki-chan that when first got her smartphone just knew how to take photos in burst mode has come so far...

Chika: Y-you guys I think that's about enough

San-baka: Oh?

Kota: What is this, Chika-kun? Is there something you don't want us to see?

Chika: No, is just...

Sane: For now, let's just kick up the volume

Chika: Stop messing with me

Chika: Give me that phone!!

Kota: Hey, Mittsu, pass!!

Mittsu: Hey, Kota!!

Chika: Give me that, Kota!

Kota: Say no to violence!

Page 24

Takinami: What is this fuss all about?

Kota: !

Kota: Suzu-chan!

Takinami: You guys are so energetic.

Takezou: Sensei! Wh- What happened with the Nationals!!

Chika: Are we going? We are going, right?

Takinami: Calm down.

Takinami: As planned---

Page 25

Takinami: Nationals are in half a month

Everyone: Let's goooo, we are going to Nationals dammit!!

Page 26

Kota: Uh? The video is still going The screen is dark tho...

Satowa[in video]: Because I love him

Page 27

Satowa: ---Eh?...

Satowa[in video]: Because I really love Kudo!!!

Page 28

Kota: -----... This... is... Hozuki-san...

Sane: Ummmm...

Sane[thoughts]: I think we just heard something we really had no business hearing

Satowa: !? !?

Hiro: AAAAAAH----!!? Th-th-that is.. You know... That... You know..

Hiro[thoughts]: Hiiiiiiiii!!!!!

Takezou: M- Me too!

Takezou: I love Kudo-kun!!

Chika: !

Hiro[thoughts]: Kurata----!!!

Takezou: In the way you love a cute kohai!

Sane: ... Ye-Yeah!

Page 29

Sane: I love you too, Chika!!

Mittsu: I love you as well!!

Kota: Yeah, Iove you!!!!!

Atsumu: Me too!

Sane: Momoya, you too right!?

Satowa: Eh...

Satowa[thoughts]: No way...

Satowa[thoughts]: I recorded even that!? I cannot believe this, I want to dissapear.

Kota: Look at that, we all love Chika!

Sane: You are so popular!

Takinami[thoughts]: What in the world...

Satowa[thoughts]: I made everyone really uncomfortable.

Satowa[thoughs]: Just now that we are going to the Nationals...

Satowa[thoughts]: To bring this weird atmosphere...

Page 30

Satowa[thoughts]: What do I do... If I ruined everything...

Page 31

Chika: Hey, Hozuki

Page 32

*No text*

Page 33

Chika: I really love you too, Hozuki!

Page 34

Satowa: ---Heh...

Page 35

Natsu: pff

Everyone: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH???

Side text: No worries about going to the Nationals!!