I reblog shit

I hate the UTDR fandom.

I think there’s a serious issue with transphobia, non-binary erasure (OR insistence), false allyship, and a need to be ‘right’ instead of being true allies.

I’ve seem that for now a literal decade. People yelling at each other over the gender of fictional characters so much, and the conversation is never about serious respect of non-binary characters. It’s about ‘I am RIGHT’ and ‘this is what makes me more COMFORTABLE’.

But the thing is, one side is convinced they have the moral high ground because ‘IT’S OBJECTIVELY CORRECT THEY ARE NON-BINARY!’

And they’re RIGHT! But not for the reason they think they are! The arguments are NEVER about non-binary erasure. It’s about ‘this is how I SEE them and I am correct!’, and CONSTANTLY in conversations that gets exposed.

And that’s not necessarily wrong! Until you start hiding behind ‘if you don’t agree? You are a BIGOT.’ You are not being an ally. You are making non-binary a fan fiction and pretending you’re doing something righteous. And when you bring this up in this fandom?

You are shouted down. You get hate. There is a dogpile towards people who are saying the way the fandom handles this is HORRID.

We are stuck in 2016. And not calling it out is going to allow it to continue.

Kris is CANONICALLY non-binary because Toby says they are. Not because that’s your headcanon. And if someone else with a different gender identity headcanons them to be different to better reflect their identity? That’s not wrong of them. That’s not them being a ‘bigot’.

It’s them wanting representation. And that’s not wrong either.

And if you read that and purposefully misconstrue it to be ‘SO YOU’RE SAYING CISGENDER PEOPLE CAN ERASE NONBINARY PEOPLE?!’ when that’s clearly not the intent, you are part of the problem.

I am a survivor of sexual assault, grooming and blackmail.

I have read 2 accounts of 20+, to be absolutely fair, and this document is going to take a WHILE to read.

But the absolutely reprehensible things shayy has been alleged to do (sexual assault, potential (?) grooming being among them)have been muddied by things such as:

- They refused to buy me a car.

- They misinterpreted what someone meant, and it made the other person uncomfortable.

- They did not throw away trash.

I am not saying Shayy did nothing wrong. Far from it. In the first 2 accounts, there is SEVERE evidence they were at best a toxic partner who actively committed sexual assault, a crime, if the facts are as they truly are presented.

But this also reads like a slander piece, which is why I have to use that “if” word.

This is not how I would have presented my sexual assault.

This is not how ANYONE I know that is a survivor would have.

The details would never be muddied by “…and also, they didn’t buy me a new car.”

This reads like a hit piece where they try to find anything Shayy did wrong over a years long period due to a bad breakup of a relationship that was toxic.

I HIGHLY encourage everyone to read this document.

I am not saying Shayy is innocent. Far from it. They at the LEAST need to take a break from content creation.