Tumblr? I don't know

I need you to understand this on a deep, personal level. Don't just get this, grok this. You do not. Ever. Fuck with the Waffle House.

Waffle Houses are a tradition running back to mid-20th century Terra. At a glance, they weren't anything special. They were stand-alone breakfast restaurants open 24-7 where the real star of the show was the loaded hash browns - sorry to the waffles, they're good, just not that good.

The thing is, Waffle House took hospitality seriously. Fucking seriously. How seriously? They prided themselves on being the only place open when disasters struck, a place for the community AND disaster relief workers to eat. At least one ancient Earth governmental agency had a scale called The Waffle House scale to determine how bad a disaster was based on how many Waffle Houses were closed in the area and how long it took them to get back up.

This was not just a casual thing. This was truly SACRED hospitality, in a very, very ancient manner. Waffle Houses did not just serve you food, they were the great melting pot of humanity, where no matter who you were, what you'd been through, or how inebriated you were - you could get a waffle at 2 AM.

Now consider this: What happens when sacred hospitality is abused?

That's right. You catch some hands. Waffle House cooks and waitresses developed a rep on ancient Terra. If you wanted to see some shit fly, you messed with them. And then you hoped they wouldn't break TOO many of your bones. Spoiler alert: They're going for the high score every time, because you decided to interrupt the sacred mission of slinging hash to humanity and/or decided to fuck with the vibes.

Waffle House, of course, survived the diaspora into the stars. Most of the Great Houses have them in at least a few worlds. And yes... they are still unchanged, all these years later, assuming you don't count the compact fusion reactor powering the griddle.

So the old advice is still good.

Don't fuck with a Waffle House cook unless you want to die painfully.

And if that Waffle House cook is - against all odds - possessed of a mech?

Do everything in your power - bend over backwards, literally if needed - to keep them happy.

I need you to understand this on a deep, personal level. Don't just get this, grok this. You do not. Ever. Fuck with the Waffle House.

Waffle Houses are a tradition running back to mid-20th century Terra. At a glance, they weren't anything special. They were stand-alone breakfast restaurants open 24-7 where the real star of the show was the loaded hash browns - sorry to the waffles, they're good, just not that good.

The thing is, Waffle House took hospitality seriously. Fucking seriously. How seriously? They prided themselves on being the only place open when disasters struck, a place for the community AND disaster relief workers to eat. At least one ancient Earth governmental agency had a scale called The Waffle House scale to determine how bad a disaster was based on how many Waffle Houses were closed in the area and how long it took them to get back up.

This was not just a casual thing. This was truly SACRED hospitality, in a very, very ancient manner. Waffle Houses did not just serve you food, they were the great melting pot of humanity, where no matter who you were, what you'd been through, or how inebriated you were - you could get a waffle at 2 AM.

Now consider this: What happens when sacred hospitality is abused?

That's right. You catch some hands. Waffle House cooks and waitresses developed a rep on ancient Terra. If you wanted to see some shit fly, you messed with them. And then you hoped they wouldn't break TOO many of your bones. Spoiler alert: They're going for the high score every time, because you decided to interrupt the sacred mission of slinging hash to humanity and/or decided to fuck with the vibes.

Waffle House, of course, survived the diaspora into the stars. Most of the Great Houses have them in at least a few worlds. And yes... they are still unchanged, all these years later, assuming you don't count the compact fusion reactor powering the griddle.

So the old advice is still good.

Don't fuck with a Waffle House cook unless you want to die painfully.

And if that Waffle House cook is - against all odds - possessed of a mech?

Do everything in your power - bend over backwards, literally if needed - to keep them happy.