suddenlyssad

back online to say my soul is crushed for a man i once loved. nine years after the band ended it truly now feels like one direction is gone and i am devastated for the younger me and me now. i have no words.

if i can live through the fears of my nightmares i can get through the day. the sway of my hands and legs as i nervously shake really will never fade away. how will i know who you are if i don't know myself. how will i know anybody if communication is a spell i cannot teach myself and learn. lonesome here. lonesome there. lonely everywhere. the creaks in my fan remind me that even inanimate objects have life in them. where one point they will stop working. much like humans except we have a so called 'soul'. who is the creator and why. my mind is a vast ocean where i haven't been discovered like the majority of the sea. the loch ness monster ready to be, ready to feed. the knowledge from school the power it brings. no, it will never be me. i lie in bed at night thinking of all this wondering if i will ever have a passion, settling with maybe it wasn't meant to be.

well … haven’t been here in a while