Four score and seven beers ago

I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom

My dick has been on fire for over an hour

I told my chef what happened and he was like “you only make that mistake about fourteen times”

He tells me this story about this time he had gotten out of a chili class in which he had been cutting habenjero peppers all class and he goes back to his dorm and starts finger blasting his girlfriend and she stars SCREECHING.

She he fukin SPRINTS to the dorm prep kitchen and gets a gallon of heavy cream and runs back to the room. He starts pouring this shit all over her Cooze right, and she’s like shoveling cream into her hole. And he’s freaking out. Like he’s so sure that this chick is don’t with him forever.

So they deal with this thing and the cream works and he’s like massaging it into her pussy for like a half an hour because you have to constantly soak it to nullify the habenjero oils or whatever. And she gets INTO IT.

She fucking CUMS

>tell my girl i love subs >she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed >god damn i love sandwiches

>tell my girl i love subs >she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed >god damn i cant stand dubbed anime

>tell my girl i love subs >she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed >god damn i hope my real teacher never comes back

>tell my girl i love subs >she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed >i’m 20,000 leagues under the fucking sea

this is how donald trump won over the alt-right

hell? empty. all the devils? here.

omg this wasn’t a “dick? out” joke this was a shakespeare quote don’t be crass

Hell: empty Devils: here Dick: out

I am forcibly removed from the Globe

@cold-warrior

hey here’s a fact for all of my followers who follow me.  butter, ice cream, milk, and cheese all come to us from the same animal.  i cant remember which animal it is right now but i know for sure its the same one

Ill give you a hint, it moos

thanks yeah it’s the moose

@q2qcomics