🌿

I love tumblr more than IG bc IG feels like I’m posting looking for a job but on here it’s like I already lost the job and my wife and the house and I’m just sitting on the curb talking to myself

never take for granted the moments when you’re not nauseous

how do I explain to people that I genuinely and with 100% sincerity think that the greatest love story in all of fiction is a 6.5 minute dnd podcast monologue about a character named barry bluejeans and his hot elf girlfriend playing music and holding hands

literally the only difference between terriers and herders to me is that if a terrier is bored they cause problems on purpose and it’s with the purpose of starting a fight (metaphorically). herders cause problems on purpose as well but it’s with a goal of like. white collar crime. terriers would start a bar fight out boredom just for the sheer glee of chaos and bc they wanna smash a bottle of vodka on someone’s head. herders would do stock manipulation for fun. just to see if they could

the petrova task force runs out of money and Stratt has to sell Grace to one direction

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

“Do you ship...” Buddy I will ship almost anything if I think about it too long. I love love and situations

My friend's been getting me to watch episodes of Game Changer, and I think Sam Reich might be some kind of Fae Trickster, and Brennan Lee Mulligan is trying to prove that fact with the same energy as Dib from Invader Zim.

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s