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the phrases "kill myself" "kill yourself" "let's kill ourselves" are sacred because brands cannot use them. holy in the literal sense

you know what all those edgy teen dramas with drunk partying in them are missing? the trauma of learning for the first time that alcohol tastes bad.

no underage drinking scene will be complete unless a kid takes their first ever sip of wine and goes “what the fuck?”

i love pancakes, i love emotional music, i love women, i love sunlight coming through the window. etc etc

i hope y'all are getting paid to lie about how mint & chocolate tastes good together

Who mans this

Current mood: Sad that I don’t have a rich vampire taking care of me financially in exchange for blood.

why do i want to quit every job i start lmao

Hot girls shouldn't work

tea...... what im doing is sick nd unnatural

i love laying the FUCK down and sleeping

do british people really eat beans on toast as a meal

in america is everyone ignorant

it was just a question damn no need to get hostile go eat some beans on toast

My salary is so shitty 😒

have you tried the bbq ranch chicken salad from Wendy’s?

OMG I THOUGHT THAT SAID SALAD

i wish british accents were real and weren’t just invented for the ppcu (peppa pig cinematic universe)