Conscious and Thinking

There is a raging spiritual war for our souls between the forces of light and darkness, and the almighty has sent us His Spirit to guide us off the battlefield, but we must be willing to take the journey step-by-step, we must have hope. Battered and bruised, tripping and falling along the way, giving up becomes tempting. And then the Spirit turns to us and says, “Remember”. “Remember,” the Lord said, “what I have done for you. Remember my promises.” He instructed the people of Israel to hold certain festivals and to devote themselves to His Word. Why? Because the sounds and sirens blaring around them would easily draw them away. In remembering, we grab a hold of God’s promises, of the hope which goes before us and anchors our soul in the midst of the storm. And grounded in this hope, we find comfort and the courage to take another step. Remember.

I enjoy enjoying things. There was a time in my teenage years where I didn’t enjoy enjoying things. My distaste for hedonism, the life governed by pleasure, resulted in living a form of anti-hedonism, where joy is weakness and suffering is commendable precisely because it is unpleasant. All it really ended up being was a glorified insensitivity, and aside from hurting myself I tore down those I loved the most. In hindsight, I can see that this deadly mentality was rooted in my theology, of the beginning and the end. We were created to enjoy things. When we read of the golden calf that Aaron made for the Israelites in Exodus 32, we suddenly become self-aware of all the things in our own lives that have the potential to become idols. In my case, I panicked. There are hundreds of things in my house, my community, and my life that have idol-potential. Knowing I couldn’t physically alienate myself from it all, I sought to emotionally alienate myself from it. If I didn’t enjoy anything, it was less likely, in my mind, that I would idolize it. Ever wonder why the Israelites had enough gold to build that calf? I never did. They were slaves in Egypt. Why did escaped slaves have this much gold? God took it from the Egyptians and gave it to them (Exodus 12:35-36). Ponder that for a second. God, who commanded them to not have idols (Ezekiel 14:6), gave them gold. What this told me is that it is possible to enjoy things without idolizing them. The act of idolatry is not enjoyment of something, but thanklessness. When we become thankless, we make the ends of our blessings the means of our sustenance, in place of God. And so to enjoy things in Christ means to be thankful for what we have. When we do so, we incline our ear to the Provider rather than to the blessing itself. We were created to enjoy Him. Our Provider not only blesses us materially, but gives us the joy of sharing our blessings with others. He does not only grant us joy, but is the source of all joy Himself. And what is eternal life? Knowing Jesus Christ (John 17:3). If you read the Psalms, you will find people speaking of praising God left, right and centre. Why this passion? They praise Him for who He is. They love Him. And so, they enjoy Him. And in eternity, we will enjoy being in His presence forever. We will enjoy joy itself.

Satan seeks to build up strong holds in our minds early on in our lives where disobedience and moral relativism can thrive from tendencies to habits and addictions. With such a frivolous mindset, pornography and other secret addictions take over our mind, our affections, and our physical bodies and we go through the motions day in and day out as enchained slaves. When we come to a saving faith in Christ, we start a journey of daily sacrifice that requires discipline to, as Colossians 3:5 states, "[p]ut to death what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry." The Puritans, which are largely accredited for the foundation of America, had a theology of mortification to deal with just that. Mortification referred to this very thing: to put to death the earthly. And they based this theology of mortification on putting on the Whole Armour of God (Ephesians 6:10-20). I know I myself have made the mistake in the past of believing that the journey would not be a struggle demanding of effort and discipline, a battle every sunrise that I could not opt out of. Let's not make these mistakes any longer, friends. Let's become disciplined warriors, because there is a war for your soul and not taking responsibility for your spiritual growth is like going to war without armour. Put on the Whole Armour of God. Thanks to Dr. Emil Bartos for sharing a very encouraging message tonight on spiritual warfare.

If you go to any church in your community, you will likely find there a ministry, supported by the finances of the church and directed by church members, to aid the poor and those in need. It has almost become customary to have a ministry to the poor. Make no mistake, we are in dire need of them and the church is called to reach out to the marginalized. Yet, what you will also find are footprints of this ministry. The concept of "carbon footprint" is well-known enough, but that's not what I'm referring to. I'm referring to the trail of problems left behind by such ministries. Where does the food come from? The food we purchase is likely produced by companies who abuse animals with such lack of care that it would make even the die-hard bacon-lover cringe to watch. These are the companies that make many meats cheaper than a head of lettuce. Let me pause for a moment. Here you may say, "What are we supposed to do about it? Buying locally-grown meat from farmers and ranchers we trust treat their animals with dignity is just too expensive. We will just have to ignore it and continue our ministry as it is." Well, since you asked, I will tell you what we can do about it. Avoid meat and/or buy locally from a farmer. Unthinkable, isn't it? Maybe not as you might think. A vegan diet is not the end of the world, in fact I rather think it is the beginning of true culinary artistry. And paying a few extra dollars for meat can help an honest farmer of integrity pay the rent and raise a family. Who cares? We need to ask ourselves what we're trying to do in ministry work: are we trying to make a difference? You see, the industry that abuses animals also provides poor working conditions and low pay for workers. This in turn leads to not being able to pay the bills and thus needing to rely on ministries that distribute food and clothing to the homeless and needy. By leaving this footprint, we end up propagating the injustice that we seek to resolve. This is just one case where two ministries (the homeless ministry and the animal justice ministry) become a vicious cycle where our solution to one feeds into the problem of the other. Round and round we go.  Are we ready to get off the carousel?

The burden that makes us weary. A Greeting to What Continues by Daniel C. Moholia There was and is, a place we know Hidden in the moon-bathed woods. A conifer spreading out its wings But to never fly, always reaping what it sows. We saw, we sow, we will, we would. Branches and cones -- a host of these Lying, as we did, never true. If I could ask them a question I would ask you, "Are we foes?" Before the dawn breaks anew. The same shoes tread the path, Snagging that root, pulling back, The trees calling my name for lack Of other means to expel their wrath: "Wait, wait, listen to us moan." Listen to the rustling doubt you've shown. From among decrepit pasts, rooted in And shining out: an ominous shadow Of a doubt slays the beasts that prowl around. Slays and slashes and summons the sin, Piercing through the soul's stained window. One more creature in our midst. Veins are weakening, leaking for The vain words spewing from my core, Scratching the itch with this blade, Seeking them before they begin to fade To give them up so you may see The silhouette figure that is me.... I walk these parts of my soul, Away from your eyes, unseen, But the stained window hiding The horror of this coal- Etched figure for you to greet: Two circles rubbed away, with a Swinging arc below: One more day, another smile, Another walk, one more show, One more, one more One more lighter left to sow.

Flirting With Time by Daniel C. Moholia There lingers time along our way As sordid tastes now come awake. But 'tis not time that falters, nay. Strutting the alleys on our heels, Draining the feelings our head feels. Pure madness and what else may Come about with great appeal. "Sit down and wait," 'tis patience we say. Waiting to walk on our own merry way, Searching for harbours of indecision To harbour this lot of unformed clay Docks creep up yet never we pray: "What price, my Lord, did You pay?" When I was hither, and there, and everywhere, Body held together but by Thy grace What shall I answer as You ask Of this ol' frozen heart of clay? Incision, decision, not quite similar but the same. Games of chance we risk, bidding our souls away, With intentions feigning sanity, Cutting corners, trimming edges. Planning a "correct" route to the grave. Are these things truly correct, per say? Sweet coals and bitter ashes, Our absent shame to inflame? Yet for now, there's no need for sorrow. Sparkling wine, come mar our sight. Behold, I am sure of blessing 'till morrow. Lest our time appear by night. And in appearing steal it away, To form our frozen heart of clay. From clay, To clay Earth in satin, Left unchanged. One day bringing us to our knees. One day.

Humility by Daniel C. Moholia What are we, without humility? We are leaders with no cause. But to destroy our sensibility, To charge life without a pause. Creating efficient verity, Making goals, our pride to thicken. "It must be beautiful, with amenity." Humility absent, we've yet to awaken.

William James

Light by Daniel C. Moholia Seeing, knowing, awakening to the light Brightness, beauty, warmth is here Feeling, thinking, contemplating the sight Wondering: "Why did we ever fear?" The light that shines into the night Making evil naked, making bare The light that reveals our desperate plight Realizing pride, "Why did we not care?"

Peter Marshall

We were meant to live for Christ. Seeking Change by Daniel C. Moholia People have, they have sought change They know, know a difference must be made But society, them it does estrange Set to make them wait and wade I, I have sought to prevail They, they started to derange I blame no one, yet I wail "Did I ever really change?"

We ended it two days ago. Two and a half years of trying to try harder all came to a instantaneous halt on the morning I came to visit without even the faintest intention or impression that it would be my last. We were each other's grotto, where the walls were faintly chalked over and spattered with the blood and tears of our memories. Our backs towards the Sun shining through the opening, we cast shadows of ourselves that we secretly embraced and adored. We ended it so that we would be forced into the Sun, be forced to turn our backs on our shadows. But why turn your back on it when there are so many grottoes nearby? One closed will leave more time for the rest. A shadow is a shadow, no matter what grotto. We hide now in different places, casting our shadows just as before. Perhaps one day the Earth will open up and swallow us whole. Deep down there, there is no light, no shadow, no grotto. All we will know is which way leads us to the Sun. And that, my grotto-wanderer, is all we need. It won't happen because we left each other's grotto. You will learn to love your friendly grotto well, because your shadow is just as enticing to you, regardless of which grotto you project it upon. Wandering without you won't make my shadow any less appealing. Farewell my fellow grotto-wanderer. I pray you are swallowed up whole.

Abraham Lincoln

Ignorance by Daniel C. Moholia Finding no reason to live, Nothing to die for, fitting our ways. Finding complacency, decisive, Getting entangled, an endless maze. Searching for more, a King to lead, Finding ourselves, in our defiance. Searching for escape, searching for peace, Finding ourselves again, ignorance.

Winston Churchill

There is so much evil to be frustrated about, whether it be abortion, rape culture, or consumerism, it all flows from a denial of God's authority to define what is right and wrong. We feel like strong, Gospel-centered men and women need to become leaders and reach many people far and wide with the Gospel that redeems the souls of the young and old. Sometimes we wonder why, despite all our labour, there is no fruit to bring glory to God. We rationalize it away as it being "a seed planted" or "it requiring patience and persistence," ...but what if God is frustrating our plans on purpose? "That's ridiculous," we first think. But if we search our own hearts we know it's true. God isn't working through us, because we're stubborn and rebellious. We want to take a plank out of everyone's eye while blinded by the planks in our own eyes. I feel far away from God and rejected in my work, because if I had my way and became a respected leader, I would lead God's people into destruction. And God has the grace to frustrate me for my own sake and for the sake of others, that my rebellious pride be exposed and I would repent of my hypocrisy. Thank you, Lord, for your unfailing mercy.

Unexpected Doom by Daniel C. Moholia Waging war and war is waging, Seeking mere men to consume. Climbing numbers, plane descending, Towards our decorated tomb. Towards darkness we are ascending, Seeking a runway, just its loom. Finding nothing, yet colliding, With our unexpected doom.