𝙎𝙥𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙇𝙞𝙢𝙞𝙩 𝟲𝟵

DO NOT DOWNLOAD TUMBLR it will install a virus on your device called tumblr

@connerysquare

Accurate. I’m too neurotypical for this shit.

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

I will never ever get tired of seeing bredlik poems. It is really one of the seminal art forms of the century. I am not being sarcastic. 

If I ever don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead and archaeologists are licking my bones.

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

what they don't tell you about being bilingual is that you won't be smarter and more eloquent in one language over the other. instead you get to be stupid twice.

byelingual

Haha @thetiffanylampklausbroke

actually stop

@thetiffanylampklausbroke Let’s do this

we don’t go to buccees because the kids get lost

I’m not sacrificing anyone except maybe you

WoaH ok

I get it, but nonetheless it's damn amazing that you've been together for so long, I mean I'm not a sappy person but this made me go 'aww' in my mind

Touching grass is not enough; I need to travel far over the misty mountains cold.

I would like to do that as well, I’d love to see the dungeons deep, and the caverns old.