Untitled @connectionplease - Tumblr Blog

i like moonbase speculative concept art cus the futurists are all focused on mars so the ppl rendering moon colonies tend to stick to current ISS-like tech and it makes me yearn

patricia-taxxon

the moon is a boring but necessary development so u have to be interested in it for practical reasons. like if the idea of a manned research base on shackleton crater makes u wet then you're in it for the game

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patricia-taxxon

to people starting out making art, you don't have the skill to copy anyone yet, just rip off your favorite artist and it'll probably end up pretty different

randomalistic

LMAOOO

connectionplease

#when will Reginald return from the war…

#never, dear. never.

the end of this vid talked about finding or, if it's not yet there, making community. i found it motivating and moving. that's the next thing I want to put time and energy towards. finding local community to become enmeshed in, to support people and be supported and bond with them…

I also even more so want to put time and energy towards founding/facilitating community with my friends. (addressing the parts of me who are being critical: I've had other things to focus on recently! there wasn't time to focus on this! I'm/you're/we're not "a failure" or "lazy" or "ungrateful" or "not trying hard enough" or "not good enough" because we haven't put time and effort into this yet or because it hasn't happened yet! there hasn't been brainspace or time! and it also doesn't mean that our—very good—friends aren't interested in this kind of community or don't *actually* like us that much or anything like that. it's… okay… *phew*

so. okay. back on train on thought. (choo choo).

hosting stuff is hard. i'd like help with that. my variable energy levels are also really hard to work around, I think. I hold back from committing to things b/c I'm afraid I will have to bail b/c tired or depressed. also new people are hard. and my perfectionism/perfectionist tendencies (self-criticism if anything I initiate / spearhead has any flaws). and rejection sensitivity. blegh. well, at least good to know about(!); allows for me to account for them a lil'. agh. just want a hug, now.

anywho… well… I think I mainly wanted to express my intention to orient myself, my focus, my energy towards building and facilitating some more community (emphasis on regular, repeating events) for myself within my existing friendships (and without, in my local area… and maybe beyond, but travel time and new people are scary and difficult).

uh, I guess hmu about this kinda thing if you know me. I find it quite difficult (and feel insecure about having too little energy to contribute to organising it / bailing on stuff) but I also deeply want more of it.

< 3

#shitty kickflips #community building

animentality

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willabee

she checks the floor vents every day to see if the furnace is on yet and today was the day :)

leafcrunch

a woman alone will download pdfs. two women together will send links and articles. three or more women? that’s a library

talisidekick

A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

#yes very good this is the correct response

hyeoni-comb

"No," Sissix said. "It's because she can't socialize well." "She's shy?" Rosemary asked. "She's a rashek. There's not a word for it in Klip. She's got a disorder that makes it difficult for her to interact with others. She has trouble understanding other people's intentions. And she speaks oddly, that much was obvious when I first approached her. I offered to couple with her, but she couldn't quite bring herself around to that. So, yes, she's shy, but she also has a hard time figuring other people out. It makes her act a little . . . well, for lack of a better word, weird." "Why snuggle with a weirdo?" Kizzy asked. "Being weird doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve companionship. The fact that she's running a shop instead of living on a farm somewhere means that she has no house family. And yeah, there are elders who choose not to have house families, but she doesn't even have a feather family. And that's . . ." Sissix shivered. "Stars, I can't imagine anything worse than that." Rosemary looked at Sissix. The familial terms were lost on her, but something clicked anyway. "You were comforting her. That's all it was. You just wanted her to know that someone cared." "Nobody should be alone," Sissix said. "Being alone and untouched . . . there's no punishment worse than that. And she's done nothing wrong. She's just different."

from The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

hyeoni-comb

"I don't know. maybe it's just different for us. We're different species, after all." She paused. "Or maybe because I never thought to ask anyone what you're asking. I never thought of fear as something that can go away. It just is. It reminds me that I want to stay alive. That doesn't strike me as a bad thing."

from The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

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incorrect-wayfarer

Rosemary: I’m scared I might secretly be an awful person and I’m just fooling everyone into thinking I’m good.

Jenks: the fact that you care so deeply about being a bad person is proof that you’re actually good. Bad people don’t mind being bad.

Rosemary: oH NO, I have fooled him too

thursdaygirlmp3

i frankly haven't been able to stop thinking about this essay because this is exactly how i feel about intimacy. also i really want to kiss ella yurman