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@commvndr-blog

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i see you're lurking, lovely miss lee.
â ăâăhow did you knowâŚ
             I    DONâT    FEEL    SHAME.     shame is something Y O U create âââ FOR ME?     SHAME  IMPLIES  THAT  I  THINK  ABOUT  YOU.     (                 WHICH,   I   DONâT.               )

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@commvndr.
âAt one point, we should really talk this out, Hana. Iâm not twenty anymore, you arenât twenty anymore, weâve both outgrown whatever phase we were in back then. Donât you think itâs time to at least listen to my side of the story?â
He was pushing it, and Chiwon was aware of it. But shouldnât he be given a second chance? He hadnât come here to demand answers, or to shove her around the way he used to. In fact, all he was seeking for was a quiet, calm discussion about the things that had happened in the past, nothing less, nothing more. Chiwon didnât look for a confrontation, least of all with the woman he once upon a time used to cherish more than anything or anyone else. Which, in retrospect, did sound quite hypocritical considering the abuse she had to face at his hand, but that was an aspect he would prefer not to think about at this point in time.
âLook Hana, I know Iâve made mistakes and Iâve paid for them. In fact, Iâve paid for them dearly, and I know you did too, so letâs just talk like the grown ups that we are. Just talking to each other, no strings attached, nothing. Canât we agree on at least that?â Truly, he wasnât asking for much, just a chance to clear up the things he had done wrong, to give her some type of closure that Chiwon knew, Hana surely must be seeking for. That much he owed her anywhere, he figured. âPlease.â
â ăâăThe burning anger she feels towards this man is quite visible through her piercing gaze, but, she has enough respect for herself and who sheâs become to bite her tongue and shut up as he pleads out to her, her arms crossing meekly over her chest. Although, in her mind, the conflict is warring, suddenly gaining all the flashbacks to times heâd realize what he did wrong and come back apologizing to her, reassuring her that his intentions were only for her benefit and that he truly did love her, despite the physical, mental and emotional abuse. Even with the memories flooding back, Hana doesnât scoff or make a sound of dismissal, which is odd, considering her usual fiery personality that can easily be provoked. Sheâs actually quite taken aback by his words, and finds herself musing as to whether to really listen to him or not, but the word, âpleaseâ seems to be so foreign to him; to the person she last knew. The way heâd changed, he was never one to ask outright for anything. For permission, to respect the boundaries between two people. No, the old him would simply take, take, take. Without even murmuring a word to her. Finally, after a few more beats pass, she exhales slowly and cautiously, her gray eyes coming up to level to meet his own. â Thatâs the first time I ever hear you say âpleaseâ in the longest time. â Are the first words that come spilling out of her mouth, tilting her head as her silver locks cascade down along her shoulder. Her body language proves her to be quite stiff and defensive, but when she speaks next, her tone is the complete opposite, careful, even. â If youâre being serious, then fine. A talk, and nothing else. Donât make me end up regretting this,  â And with that, her toneâs back to being sharp, turning on her heels to walk off the other way. â Come on. Letâs do this, once and for all. âÂ
Send my muse one of the following questions to see how they react:
âWould you rather be a PokĂŠmon Master or a wizard?â
âCan I shave your head?â
âWhy are your eyes so bloodshot?â
âCan I lick your face?â
âIs that today?â
âCan I copy your homework?â
âAre you a fucking moron?â
âIs it⌠is it dead now?â
âWill you just shut up and kill the damn spider for me?â
âAre you wearing lipstick?â
âCan you just not be your stupid self right now?â
âWould you rather walk through the middle of town naked or have to eat a live cockroach?â
âDo you believe in magic?â
âCan we have sex tonight?â
âWill you read me a story?â
âWhy did the chicken cross the road?â
âDo you have anything to eat?â
âWill you give me a kiss?â
âWhat did you break?â
âWanna have a sleep-over this weekend?â
âWill you pray with me?â
âYouâre not afraid of the dark, are you?â
âTruth or dare?â
CL - 160121
i love it when bestfriends finally get together. i pray that you two will always be happy together, forever. - shipper
     YâNO WHATâS FUNNY? i actually was never fond of the idea of a friendship, like a bestfriendship endinâ in romance. well, âleast not in movies anâ stuff, âcause thereâs always that thought that what if shit fucks up anâ then you not only lose a lover, but a friend. but with hana, i donât have that fear, really. i mean, we dated before all this for a short, short time, but we ⌠i guess, ultimately decided we were better as friends. but iâm not scared that thisâll go up in flames. like, even if somethinâ does go wrong, i know iâll always have her as a friend, no matter what.      plus, we been beatinâ around the bush for a legit year anâ a half, so ⌠i donât think anythinâs left to come to the surface anâ spoil how things are. she knows all about me, she knows all my secretsââwhich, you might not know, is some pretty ⌠er, crazy shit, actually, anâ she still loves me, so ⌠iâm not worried.      i think this is where all the lookinâ for someone stops, forreal. i really do love her, shipperssi. sheâs my person, iâm sure of it.
â  đđ đ˝đđ.
          Thereâs various sounds in this city that mildly remind her of New York.   The buzz of traffic along the streets is one, a notably familiar one that really, will easily be found in any populated cityâs downtown area. The only real difference is that, thereâs less road rage in Seoul, and the few bits that are thrown, are obviously, in Korean, and not in English. The second essence thatâs painstakingly close to her home is the intertwining aromas of the street, ranging from the garbage cans in the alleyways to the various scents of freshly-made food, such as kimchi, bulgogi, rice cakes, ramyun noodles, all coming from the vendors that were sprinkled throughout the sidewalks. The presence of grand buildings that stretch god-knows how far up are also quite similar to her home city, but she notes that theyâre much shorter compared to any Empire-State-Building type she knew of. No, not at all.   In the end, this city wasnât at all the Concrete Jungle she knew like the back of her hand, but here she was either way. Eighteen years old, Hana Lee roams the streets of Seoul, with perhaps, enough KRW to help her survive for a few days, if she made sure to stay on a budget. Sheâs carrying her school backpack, thatâs full of clothing, personal hygiene materials, her CD player along with CDs to actually put in the thing, a small teddy bear that her brother had given her, and a blanket. As for her clothing, she has red Chuck Taylors on her feet, a pair of black sweats on, with a dark purple zip-up hoodie, her favorite snapback on backwards and a pair of dark sunglasses on the bridge of her nose. Sheâs doing her best not to seem like such a tourist, or foreigner. Which, in reality, wasnât all too difficult â she was Korean, after all. Well, Korean-American, if she were to be precise.   Either way, she was already here, a lone teenager in search of a place to stay for a while. Funny. She herself didnât even know how long âa whileâ consisted of. As long as it took for the bruises along her side, the semi-fresh cuts at the base of her neck and shoulder to heal. When she looked back on it, she thought it was a bit astonishing â how quickly sheâd gone from head-over-heels in love with Lee Chiwon, to suddenly, afraid and submissive, not even one to look her own boyfriend in the eye anymore. Some part in her conscience, she knew it was wrong of her to stay with him. She knew it was extremely unhealthy on her part, taking both the physical and mental abuse, day after day. It was terribly wrong, but she didnât necessarily budge because, the other part of her knew. Even if heâs the one that initially put her in her specific...occupation, he loved her, and he hadnât always like this. Although he has his moments, he ends up apologizing now and then and treats her like...a jewel. And, apart from that, he knew her extremely well, and knew how to deal with her. That, among many other reasons, was why she stayed.   The young woman stops mid-thought once a familiar pang rises in her stomach, gurgling to signify one of the basic actions of the human body that are given to aid in survival: hunger. Glancing around with monochrome eyes full of confusion and curiosity, she eventually spots a small cafĂŠ a few shops ahead, and sheâs full of happiness for those few seconds, the thought of food stealing away the previous war she had in her mind.   Once she walks in, she immediately feels like some sort of outcast, the place lively with people of all ages speaking Korean without a flaw while she, herself, could only pick up a few key words and sentences, but was extremely rough on the language, having been used to pure English. Hana bites on her lower lip and fiddles with her thumbs nervously, and after a few minutes of no hostess coming to greet her, she just assumes itâs a free-for-all and makes her way to a lone seat by the window, plopping down and finally taking the backpack off her shoulders, the first time in the whole day. Nimble fingers rub at her temples, and she sighs, a frown forming on her graceful features.                   â What did you get yourself into, Lee... â

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â frankly speaking, i wanna give up. â
* Â six-word sentences. [ x ] * status ; accepting.
â ăâăâ hey, now! â hana suddenly exclaimed, perhaps a bit louder than she firsthand intended to, but, nonetheless, she walked up to the other female, her arms crossed over her chest.   â thatâs no way of speakinâ! look around youâ â and as if on cue, she began to wave her arms around to the area that surrounded them, from the nature of the outside world and the sky, all the way towards the chitter-chatter that came from the buzz of civilians.    â this may sound cheesy, granted, but just the simple things in life, like theseâŚtheyâre something that should keep you goinâ, you know? the natural beautyâŚthe energy, the vibe. â
sends in my name, me, hana lee.
( SEND ME YOUR MUSEâS NAME AND IâLL MAKE A PLAYLIST BASED ON THE LETTERS.* ââstatus: ACCEPTING. )Â
H ââ HIGH HIGH, gd&top.A ââ ALL DAY LONG, partynextdoor.N ââ NO CHURCH IN THE WILD, kanye west & jay z. A ââ A SKY FULL OF STARS, coldplay.Â
L ââ LEGEND, drake.E ââ EAT, zion.t. E ââ EARNED IT, the weeknd.
" Life's too short to care anymore "
* Â six-word sentences. [ x ] * status ; accepting.
â ăâăthe dancer stays quiet as he speaks, narrowing her eyes slightly and scrunching her nose, her frown apparent. she fiddles with her chubby fingers for a few moments, clearing her throat then speaking.    â well, dependinâ on whichâŚcontext you use that phrase in, it can be true, but can also be false. so, whatâs that you ainât wanna care about anymore, mm? â

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âthey love me cause iâm hot.â
*Â six-word sentences. [ x ]Â * status ; accepting.
â ăâă we goinâ hard to 2NE1 now? `she ponders with a quirk of her eyebrow, her usual smirk spreading across her lips before she clears her throat, continuing on;Â Â Â they love me cause iâm cold~!Â