i just found out that ansel (transfaguette) has been found and my heart is aching. another beautiful transmasc who deserved more time, more care, and more softness than he was given in life.
it's impossible to separate this grief from the larger one. too many trans people are carrying impossible weights: discrimination, disability, poverty, isolation, houselessness, inaccessible healthcare, violence and the constant threat of it, and the exhausting labour of having to justify our own existence and right to material support over and over again. none of this exists in a vacuum. our dead deserved better than thoughts and prayers. our living deserve better than bare minimum survival.
i had very limited interaction with ansel over the years but he did touch my life and i am mourning him. every time this happens i find myself mourning every trans person who never got the chance to grow older, to find safety, to find consistent shelter and healthcare and the means to thrive. i'm mourning the futures that keep being stolen from our community. may ansel's memory be a blessing and may we keep fighting for disabled trans people every day.
trans people, every one of you, please know you don't have to carry the weight of this life alone. i want you all the way alive. and i love you so much. i love you because our lives are bound together in ways this world refuses to understand. i love you because every trans person who survives and becomes a trans elder makes this world larger and better for all of us. i love you because your life has value that no government, no headline, no stranger or corporation's cruelty can erase.
please stay. stay for the morning you catch your reflection and recognise yourself and smile. stay for the name that feels like coming home to yourself. for the outfit that finally sits on you the way you wanted it to. for the laugh that leaves your ribs aching. for the scared trans kid who'll see you and know that there is hope for them and they aren't alone. stay because there are versions of you that haven't had the chance to be born yet. i want you to outlive everyone who profits from your despair. the future needs you, and we haven't finished building the world we deserve together. i don't want to imagine the shape of it without you.





















