Alors, c'est moi

god he has all the stupid little tuna melt ingredients prepared in containers in a neat stack in his fridge. he's losing the idgaf war in ways no one has ever lost before. "I was gonna make one for me I can make two" shut up you FREAK with your temperature controlled ginger ale. do you think this is the first time in his life he's actually tried to get someone to stay at his house. like I'm sure sveta has stayed over for a few days or whatever but it's just. baby's first crush. he logicked shane into a corner so he'd run out of excuses to leave and then he put everything in little containers right next to the ginger ale so he could get it all out quickly and smoothly and shane would think he was so nonchalant and wouldn't notice that he just accidentally got a husband. memorized his stupid little schedule. he was pacing around the house before shane got there, putting on his suit in the mirror. he whipped that shirt at Shane so quick HE WASNT EVEN WEARING A SHIRT he put it by the bed so he could put shane in his clothes. oh my god he cleaned his room and left a tshirt casually by the bed. picked out the one he wanted shane to wear. mayor of yearntown. king of yearnia. i think i hauve covid

kinda love this dynamic where ilya's like i get to have sex with anyone i want anytime i want and i also get to tell you about it while you visibly try to repress your feelings. but the second i think you might be having sex with someone else i am going to absolutely fucking spiral. epic crash out. because when I have sex it is empty and meaningless and utterly devoid of real emotional intimacy but you are a rule-following little dweeb who would still be a virgin if i hadn't deflowered you when we were like 18 so i fucking KNOW it means something to you!!!!!! the hypocrisy is delicious