i think im in love with my dp and im real scared im going to push him away on accident or on purpose because i need him and i wish i didnt need him as much as i do
Self fulfilling prophecies are a curse, it's very important to remind yourself every reason you shouldt push them away, it's not fair to either of your happiness. Try to communicate in nonaccusitory ways.
Ie "When this happens, i worry that you will (feel negatively/do something negative) because ..." writing these things down before addressing them sometimes helps me slow down, organize and rationalize so I can find a way to address my fears that won't hurt my fp in the process. I hope this advice helps













