The Humble Disney Fan

And perhaps a first listen too...

And as you can see it is not like instant death, they too are just animals and they are often just gently curious about the presence of humans! But people who study and dive with sharks will tell you you're safe as long as you stay calm and know what you're doing. The world's leading professional night divers and experts on these squids, specifically??? Stress in every interview and article and paper they write in that you simply do not fuck around with these squids. They know what they're doing and they still all have at least one story of being attacked, in some cases having to be hospitalized. Considering just how rarely anybody puts themselves in the pitch dark nighttime ocean on purpose, let alone during a squid feeding frenzy, it sounds like they're quite a bit more likely to consider you potential food than other marine predators. We also don't know how many fatal attacks might have ever happened, because what humboldt squid like to do with large prey is just drag it away into the darkness forever. The two worst attacks ever proven involved two or three squid at a time latching on to a diver (in BOTH cases they were professionals and knew the risk!) and jetting straight downward with enough force that both divers suffered injury from the sudden pressure change alone, including burst eardrums, nearly passed out and they probably would have died if they hadn't broken free. In general, people who die drowning in the dark open ocean are either never found, or they're found in pieces picked over by enough scavengers that the precise cause of death can only be narrowed down to "the sea." But now you know ONE of "the sea's" possible murder weapons :)

There's a short section on Humboldt squid in Wikipedia's entry for Cephalopod attacks on humans:

And if you can get past some of Animal Planet's hokey presentation style, this video includes a bit of interview with one of those professional experts who still got nearly squidded from existence:

There is of course some debate about all this, with some arguing that all proven documented attacks occurred on people with reflective diving equipment, which they say the squid must have mistaken for the shine of fish. However, there are lots and lots of people who have to fish around these squids to survive, who do not have access to that kind of equipment, and also have a consensus that if you fall in the water when big squids are out hunting you might disappear without a trace or perhaps just get your head bitten open. With many modern science guys agreeing with this sentiment, this is one case where the "they're just misunderstood sea friends" crowd is kind of outnumbered. The sea at night is theirs and not ours is all. It's not ours during the day either but since we are neither marine nor nocturnal animals we are double fools in the eyes of the squids, which by the way are these eyes:

No for real:

Also because I can't reblog every addition together:

Was nobody gonna tell me they had a storyboard of Dolores reenacting the velociraptor kitchen scene with Bruno and Mirabel?!

I mean look at this

Me seeing what actually happens:

Bane:

“I

Humans have a much higher percentage of body fat than most other land-dwelling mammals, we’re much closer to various aquatic mammals who rely on that fat for buoyancy & insulation.

We may have lost most of our body hair because it would have created drag as we swam through the water, but kept most of our head hair because it would protect our scalps from damage from the sun when we would come up for air.

We’re one of the only land-dwelling animals that are able to hold our breath.

Human infants instinctively know to hold their breath underwater, keep their heads up, and try to swim upwards (they’re not strong enough but they do the motions correctly), whereas the infants of other primates simply panic and drown, suggesting this isn’t simply due to having spent 9 months in the uterus.  

Children who swim very frequently are able to contract their pupils at will, something that is helpful in seeing more clearly underwater.  This can especially be seen among children of the Moken tribe from an island off the coast of Thailand who rely on this ability for catching fish and clams, but can be trained in children anywhere.

Humans are the only primates who retain some small amount of webbing between our fingers and toes, some people more than others. 

Females have permanent breasts with fatty tissue that doesn’t assist in milk production but does assist in buoyancy that would be ideal for breast feeding while floating on your back.

Our dependence on iodine for proper brain and metabolic function is highly unusual for land dwelling animals but would not be an issue for ocean dwelling creatures.