Random thoughts & Advice

the long distance girl broke up with me.

because hindsight is 20/20 I see now that being with her made me depressed and I had lost 15 pounds because I couldn’t eat. I would get depressed waiting to talk to her after days of not being able to. Also knowing she was super horny didn’t help any. How she broke up with me was I sent her a text in the morning  saying like “good morning“ and she proceeded to block me on the phone, facebook, instagram, any way she could without seemingly any warning or explanation. So me getting desperate thinking everything was fine it was just a computer error found a way to call her. Man she was pissed and gave me a fake reason why she was breaking up. I figured out the real reason must be she needed someone closer in distance partly because she is real horny.

But Then

I really truly did meet the best woman for me.

She is awesome in every way and wants to be with me always and forever. She has 2 kids (2 years & 8 months). She is already calling me their Daddy. She wants me because I actually try to be the best for her & our kids.

She isn’t in school but always makes sure I do my schoolwork.

someone needs to make a cheat sheet for men. Then a man can put them like next to the TV, in the bedroom, a short one in the car.

for example:

She says “I’m thirsty.“ -> go get her something to drink.

She says “There’s Ice cream in the freezer“ -> go get her the ice cream and a spoon.

I got an amazing girlfriend now the only issue we have is distance.

She is awesome, beautiful, and everything I could hope for. She works hard for what she gets. I love how she brought up the possibility of marriage first and wanted to talk about if we have a future together. Our plans for the future seem to work together. What we think about marriage and parenting has matched almost exactly every time. Even our personality’s mesh it seems. I see that when someone has weakness the other is strong in it. The only issue is the distance which we already have a plan to make it an inconvenience.

Soon after starting to talk she said it seems to be God’s plan we started talking. She said it first but I already knew it. I just didn’t want to be the one to say it first in case it might scare her off. Then the more we talked about our future plans we both thought it is almost definitely His plan.

Our plan is for us to see each other as much as we can in person, skype, talk on the phone, text, and always try to stay connected. Then once I graduate if we get married, I will look for a job up there so we can be together and she can finish school. In an apartment we will have a shih tzu dog. Then if she decides on teaching we look to get jobs at the same school. Once we settle on work we’ll try to buy a house with a good size yard. No matter what money we have coming in we will work together on a budget for the money.

She also offered to do my band budget. She would also want to come to all my band events. I didn’t ask. I told her what I wanted to do and she said she would want to go with me and the band.

It actually means a lot that she wanted to talk about the future like this. I always love game plans. And it’s great that our plans seem to mesh or at least our general idea for it. It means a lot to me that she wants to try whatever we can to make it work. 

I think it’s “We need to talk.“ I think a man who is crazy about you starts to wonder “Talk about what?“ “Did I do something wrong?“ “Does she want to break up?“

meanwhile she could want to say “I love you.“ “I want your help with...” “Can we get ____ for dinner?“ “I want you to meet someone“(which is stressful but not bad)

I would suggest alternative phrases to “We need to talk”

(Since that last thing failed I decided to try to get back out there.)

That I did and got a girlfriend the only downside is she lives over 100 miles away, but it is worth it if we keep trying to make it work.

She is

Amazing

Beautiful

Sweet

Our personalities mesh

she is a Christian

loves to cook

of course loves music

likes hockey

She is everything I can ask for in a woman and later wife

The best part about her was that before we met and started dating. We talked for almost 4-8 hours a day (this was before we started classes back). In that time she brought up what if we got married and we discussed and we believe we have a pretty solid plan for it. We even discussed how we would make it work before we met. Then we met and I officially asked her out. We are trying every way we can to make it work.

It feels rough though because I miss her so much. People suggest that I go occupy my time with distractions so I don’t drive myself crazy. Honestly I’m a dork and don’t do much and the stuff I do doesn’t take my mind off her. She’s fine because she has her best friend (she is another girl and also married) there to have fun with. All my friends are busy or I’m busy with work or class. So it ends up at my sales associate job that I miss her the most then because it’s so mundane.

Ideally we would be in the same town or at least within 30 minutes driving. When we first discussed the distance we felt like it was God’s plan for us to be so far apart so we can stay focused on stuff like going to class.

This is what one of my friends thinks of herself. She has been hurt by a bunch of dirt bags. She thinks the problem is her weight, but she's not obese. She believes she is. And now I’m dating a girl who was terrified of meeting me because she thought I would be disappointed in her weight. She’s a beautiful girl she just had been hurt too many times.

I'm going to go ahead and say to all the Ladies out there. Your weight doesn't matter to gentlemen.

I've actually conducted an extensive survey and discussion with all types of men, who will remain anonymous. The mix included as many types I could of race, religion, personality, jocks, nerds, different ages. The ones I know are bad news were the only ones to say they knew what size Woman they want, but these are the type of guys that are heartbreakers. The rest of the survey said basically that it is a mix of how the woman feels about herself or just something we couldn't explain how we felt about a girl but thought she was beautiful in our eyes. Sometimes you see a girl and think she's really beautiful and your bro says she's all right. None of us could really explain it but we all agreed some girls were more attractive and it never had to do with her weight, height, or whatever. Unlike what women may think, men in general do not have a set type that is the sexiest.

We can blame the media all we want but it wouldn't be right. The blame falls on Men and how we treat Women. There's a difference in not liking a girl and treating her like crap. No one deserves to be treated that way. Our duty as Men is to treat any of your girlfriends, girl friends, or just girls you think of dating as you want to treat your wife to varying degrees.

Those girl friends you help then with whatever they need and you check on them to make sure they're okay. You would help your bros whenever they ask, but with girls it seems we have to ask if they need anything then maybe they still wont tell you. I have found that girls at least like that you check on her and offer to help her with anything. If you offer help you better follow through with it.

I was in a relationship once where basically the day my now ex left from visiting me cheated on me with her ex.

The way being cheated on feels is like: Someone gives you a puppy then after you fall in love with it. They straight up murder your puppy in front of you.After this traumatic experience, you still love puppies but any time someone one offers you one. You are anxious that they will kill your puppy.

In your mind you know that in your new relationships, they are not the same person as the puppy murderer but when you are in a relationship if they don’t talk to you one day even once you start to flip out. And if you’re like me you panic and nothing can calm you down except that person saying something to you, as long it’s not “Goodbye“ or “Don’t talk to me.“ etc. I also know it makes it hard for your partner because you seem to flip out over a seemingly little thing.

Being put in the friend zone is like some one said they are hungry for their favorite foods.

So you cook all day, you cook all their favorites and call them to eat.

They say something like “I don’t want that right now put it in the fridge.“ and maybe “I’m going to eat this unsalted peanut instead.“

But as the cook you don’t throw it away or really put it in the fridge.

you keep it warm and fresh because you know they are still hungry.

Let’s say they go away for a while.

Then you pack up the food and work on perfecting each dish.

The next time they say they are hungry, you will prepare an even better meal for them because you’ve been working on it.

Now most people would say “Well this cook worked harder than anyone to prepare me a meal I should at least try the food.“

but the friend zone doesn’t work this way.

In the friend zone they say “OH LOOK ALL MY FAVORITES COOKED TO PERFECTION. but I don’t really want it because you cooked it.“ or “but I don’t want that put it in the fridge.“

Eventually the cook gives up and the one he was cooking for never gets that perfect meal.

but in the friend zone it always feels like there’s a chance for you to cook for them. You may cook for other people it may take some time but eventually you stop letting tears fall into the food.

It takes a long time to get over someone. Especially if you are still close friends. You still have all your cooking supplies ready at a moments notice. You keep everything clean, sharp, and rust free. Sometimes you make just one dish to cheer them up because in your mind that one dish might make them want a full meal from you.

Maybe their craving change or maybe they get so starving they want the meal form you. I think they want to keep you around as a friend because the meal is an option but an option they don’t want just yet.

How much I care for her.

How much I would do for her.

I helped her with classes

helped her with food stamp application

helped her try to find a new job and fill out apps

literally offered her my apartment once when her roommates kicked her out

walked her to her car when she was scared

stayed on the phone to keep her awake while she drove til 2am

stayed on the phone with her when she was scared

When she gets sick I just about beg to try to make her feel better. Which actually made her smile and laugh a little, but drove me crazy.

I would get her what she needs

I like her a lot. I don’t know why I just do.

How much seeing her hurting bothers me.

I would do anything to keep her safe

When I see another guy has broken her heart it makes me mad at him.

How scared I am of losing her.

I think I can keep her around as a friend but there’s got to be something to make her want to be more than friends.

How much I’ll try to spoil her.

treated her to Olive Garden

I gave her a box of candy to comfort her anytime she needs. It also has a picture of a puppy, a few Bible verses to help, motivational messages, and a spot for her Mom, best friend and my phone number to call to talk to someone.

Gave her a rose and card because I thought she had a bad night

almost bought her a Christmas tree

When she has to work in the mornings I would bring her breakfast or coffee even if I don’t have to be up til later.

I would cook for her & I already did. She’s better at it though.

I would try to write songs for her

Give her random gifts

Make her gifts. Like how my Dad made mom a heart shaped nightstand when they were dating and she still has it.

How much I feel I need her. She feels like the one for me & I would love to see if I’m right.

That I would do anything to get her to be my girlfriend

That I would do anything to keep her around as long as possible.

How much I pray about her living a successful life even if it doesn’t include me for now. (I’d rather be included though haha)

How compatible it seems we are

We agree on almost everything religiously & politically.

We have the same favorite restaurants, foods, candy, drinks.

Whenever one complains the other listens and supports

We’re both country folk at heart.

We’re both pretty smart. She doesn’t realize how smart she is though.

We both want to work with kids in some way. She wants to be a neonatal nurse. I want to teach.

Our dream jobs are actually near the same cities. We both narrowed it to 3 cities which all 3 match but the top 2 are either near her family or mine.

We picture our dream homes the same. Nice white house with a picket fence, you know the old American dream.

She wants to be the best wife & mother she can. I want to be the best husband & father I can be.

We both when married would work to avoid divorce at all costs.

She seems nearly perfect to me.

This summer I started a journal to my future wife. It has evolved into what seems to be a romantic gift.

It has

my prayer for her currently and for the future.

My promises to her or better yet vows ;)

and the journal of my thoughts about who she might be (which if I am wrong I will edit out) and random plans on what I will try to do for her.