This Is For ME

good morning! remember every day is a chance to begin anew [breaks off and sits on the edge of the bed staring blankly for 23 minutes before running a hand down face like a tortured movie protagonist] my god where did it all go so wrong

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

*puts my cigarettes out on you*

*wuickly smokes it all before you can reach me*

oh a wise guy huh? *rolls up my sleeves* why I oughta…

*wuickly rolls your sleeves back down before you can hit me*

best trope: "ugh I guess I'll tolerate you for the time being, but this is a conditional, tactical alliance, and the second I get what I want, we're parting ways" to "you are the only good in the world and I will protect you to my dying breath"

okay you know those posts that are like "this male character archetype would be better as a woman"? you know what we need more of? female loudmouth braggart hero antagonists. women who are cocky and comedically vainglorious and beloved by the public and also objectively suck so fucking bad. I'm not kidding. I don't care how sexist the audience would be about that. I want to see a woman who should be played by whoever the female equivalent of Nathan Fillion is.