meh

woo

good fucking morning *levitates towards you with ill intent*

they should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up and feel rested

So I just made a joke that "more women should poison their husbands" to my cool boss and then immediately found out that he got divorced because he was poisoned by his ex-wife

self discipline is so hard like. i know the sucker who's in charge...a pushover who hates authority and loves hedonism

literally every day i say to myself “wow i’m having a really bad one today” like girl i think this is just your life.

Do you ever like physically feel yourself pass your mental breaking point and then all you can think is “oh these next few days are going to be interesting”

Like you’re just sitting there silently and on the outside you seem fine and gathered but in your head you’re like “oh this is gonna hit me like a train any second”

Glad to see all 19k of us are clearly fine and okay

how much longer is mercury in the microwave I don’t think I can handle this any longer

why did God give me these battles (getting dressed and leaving the house)

*taking out the trash at night* what if there was a monster. lol *walking faster*