COFFEE + ILLUMINATI ( autoplay. )

‘  and  then  i  remembered …  i’m  a  naughty  bitch .  ’

‘  because  i  love  you …  i  think .  no ,  i’m  pretty  sure .  yeah ,  i  love  you .  ’

‘  birth  is  a  curse .   existence  is  a  prison .  ’

‘  girl ,  you  are  a  messy  bitch  who  loves  drama  and  i’m  into  it .  ’

‘  holy  motherforking  shirtballs .  ’

‘  i  am  revved  up  and  ready  to  learn .  my  brain  is  horny !  ’

‘  i  came  to  apologize .  there …  i  did  it .  i  apologized .  ’

‘  i  could  kill  them  right  now  and ,  you  know ,  that  would  be  easy .  ’

‘  i  could  never  get  close  to  anyone .  i  never  even  told  a  boyfriend  i  loved  him .  ’

‘  i  don’t  know  how  to  describe  it …  like ,  a  different  zone  of  time .  no ,  that  sounds  stupid .  a  different  clock  land .  ’

‘  i  don’t  know  how  to  tell  you  this ,  but  i’m  dying .  i  mean ,  we’re  all  dying ,  slowly .  when  you  think  about  it ,  we  started  dying  the  day  we  were  born .  ’

‘  i  don’t  know ,  man .  maybe  just  tell  her  that  you’re  gay .  ’

‘  i  don’t  need  you  to  respond  because  i  know  you  have  trouble  saying  how  you  feel .  ’

‘  i  feel  like  you  always  understand  about  20%  of  what’s  happening .  ’

‘  i  got  a  flu  virus  named  after  me  because  i  kissed  a  bat  on  a  dare .  ’

‘  i  just  have  some  worries ,  as  well  as  some  concerns  that  could  potentially  turn  into  outright  fears .  oh ,  there  they  go .  they  are  fears  now .  ’

‘  i  love  you .  and  i  don’t  need  you  to  respond  because  i  know  you  have  trouble  saying  how  you  feel .  ’

‘  i  was  a  good  person  for  six  months .  that’s  like  five  years .  ’

‘  i  wasn’t  worth  changing  for .  ’

‘  i  will  literally  see  you  all  in  hell .  ’

‘  in  the  words  of  my  actual  friends  :  ya  basic !  ’

‘  is  everything  okay ?  i  mean ,  other  than ,  you  know …  everything .  ’

‘  is  this  why  you  came  here ?  to  scold  me  on  the  metric  system ?  ’

‘  i’m  gonna  eat  all  this  chili …  and / or  die  trying .  do  you  want  any ?  ’

‘  i’m  gonna  miss  you ,  bud .  ’

‘  i’m  outtie ,  see  ya  in  hell !  ’

‘  i’ve  gained  a  lot  of  new  skills  recently .  for  example ,  i  learned  how  to  be  passive  aggressive .  totally  fine  that  you  guys  didn’t  notice .  ’

‘  love  isn’t  a  triangle ,  it’s  a  five  dimensional  blob .  ’

‘  more  guys  should  be  bi .  it’s  2018 .  it’s  like ,  get  over  yourselves !  ’

‘  none  of  your  exes  have  gotten  over  you .  ’

‘  oh no !  now  the  thing  i  said  after  we  kissed  will  always  be  ‘ hot  diggity  dog . ’  oh  well ,  it  was  an  honest  reaction  and  i  stand  by  that .  ’

‘  somehow ,  i  never  want  to  leave  you .  ’

‘  that  broke  me .  i’m  done .  ’

‘  that’s  not  a  present .  that’s  just  common  decency .  ’

‘  the  other  possible  medical  diagnosis  is  that  you’re  just  a  bit  of  a  dick .  ’

‘  their  bodies  are  made  very  poorly .  they’re  mostly  goo  and  juice .  you  just  take  the  juice  out  and  then  they’re  dead .  ’

‘  there’s  no  point  to  anything  and  you’re  just  gonna  die  so  do  whatever !  ’

‘  ugh ,  of  course  your  hugs  are  amazing .  ’

‘  wasn’t  he  banned  from  disney  world  for  biting  buzz  lightyear ?  ’

‘  what  a  creep .  why  was  i  friends  with  him ?  ’

‘  whatever  progress  i  have  made  it’s  because  you  and  i  have  become  friends .  ’

‘  whenever  anyone  tells  me  a  story  about  their  life  i  imagine  all  the  people  as  being  super  hot .  otherwise  i  quickly  lose  interest .  ’

‘  who  the  hell  is  this  chick ?  ’

‘  why  do  bad  things  always  happen  to  mediocre  people  who  are  lying  about  their  identity ?  ’

‘  why  is  it  every  time  a  new  thing  is  invented  humans  immediately  try  to  use  it  for  porn ?  ’

‘  yeah ,  i  love  you .  ugh ,  that’s  embarrassing .  i  feel  so  itchy .  ’

‘  you  are  too  selfish  to  ever  be  a  good  person .  ’

‘  you  got  it ,  you  piece  of ...  butt .  ’

‘  you  need  to  ghost  her .  disappear .  block  her  number .  bonus  :  anything  she  left  in  your  apartment  is  now  legally  yours .  ’

‘  you  are  brilliant ,  charming ,  obviously  gorgeous .  ’

Season 1

“When the sun sleeps… the wolves begin to howl.”

“Holy Toledo, he ripped on him!”

“Traitor! Dirty bastard traitor!”

“Let’s take this slow. This is my first time.”

“Oh yeah, the pain. It’s not so bad. I hacked up some blood a couple of minutes ago and there was this pink chunk about the size of, uh… one of those little kiwifruit, but I don’t feel anything missing, so I’m not too worried.”

“What’s got into you?”

“What the hell are you smiling at?”

“Holy dammit Christmas!”

“ It craves… purity… it devours… purity… it seems to be… What the hell is this thing made out of?”

“There are four puddings in the fridge. You may enjoy the contents of one of them. Dinner at six.”

“Violence isn’t the answer. This is a think tank; we’re the most powerful minds on the planet! Let’s act like it!”

“I will remember these last few days with you as the happiest of my life.”

“Apparently this is the reward I get for years of screwing with super-science. In short, I pissed in God’s eye, and he blinked.”

“I had to sleep in my clothes. Now I feel gross wearing them two days in a row!”

“Why haven’t you tried the world domination thing? You scared of the big leagues?”

“With every fiber of my being I stab at thee, as long as blood flows through this heart I will hunt you down. I will be the stuff of your children’s nightmares.”

“When the sun sleeps… the wolves begin to howl.”

“Oh my god, look at this place. It’s like a museum of failure.”

“Why is it every time I need to get somewhere, we get waylaid by jackassery?”

“Consider this your final warning. You do not know the risk you are taking. For a whisper from my lips could open your mind to a world of arcane tortures!”

“Okay, this is getting nuts.”

“Have you seen my juice-box?”

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!”

“Okay, then who haven’t you slept with? I’m sure that’s a shorter list.”

“Th-th-th-this is most unorthodox.”

“Who wants PIZZA ROLLS?”

“Get me my cloak!”

“Consider this your final warning. You do not know the risk you are taking. For a whisper from my lips could open your mind to a world of arcane tortures!”