coffeeNbraces•

Sooooo… this is what happens when I enter a bookstore ✨ 📚😌

1. Three Daughters of Eve

2. Cold Enough for Snow

3. Open Water

4. Tess of the d’Urbervilles

5. Giovanni’s Room

6. The Blood of Others

7. Near to the Wild Heart

8. The Book of Goose

9. Heart the Lover

10. My Year in Paris with Gertrude Stein

My previous trip to Istanbul made me buy this book, and I’m obsessed ! 💛🤌🏻 📒 🍒

“No matter who we are or where we live, deep inside we all feel incomplete. It’s like we have lost something and need to get it back. Just what that something is, most of us never find out. And of those who do,even fewer manage to go out and look for it” 👀✨

“Choose love,Love! Without a sweet life of Love,living is a burden—as you have seen.”

It’s 12:32pm. My head randomly started producing thoughts about matcha, and here it goes.

Currently, I’m trying to tolerate caffeine because of my anxiety. I love coffee. I love, love coffee. But sometimes I wonder.. maybe coffee is just a habit? Maybe I’m addicted to the taste. Or maybe I’m just bored without a cup in my hand. Or… is it just a trend?

I drink a cup of long black every morning. It’s my happy time. I’m genuinely happy just making it. And not iced — hot. I prefer it hot.

I don’t like ice, though I do drink iced coffee maybe once or twice a year.I used to drink up to 4 cups a day. I was used to it… but not anymore.

Caffeine triggers my anxiety. I was diagnosed maybe 2 years ago, and since then I’ve been trying to love my body more.

“No more than one cup a day!” I said.

Did I lie? Of course.

But only on special days — maybe twice a year. Especially during holidays.

Then matcha happened.

Sometimes at night, I crave something warm. So I thought, a cup of matcha latte… it’s not going to harm me, right?

That night, I couldn’t sleep.

I kept wondering — why can’t my brain shut down? Why?!

I did fall asleep… but around 2–3am. And at my age, sleep is my priority.

If I sleep at 10–11pm, I must sleep. No thoughts allowed.

That’s when I started taking magnesium to help.

The next morning, I googled:

“WHY CAN’T I SLEEP”

“DOES MATCHA CONTAIN CAFFEINE”

Turns out… yes. It does.

Even more than coffee sometimes. NO WONDER.

Since then, I never drink matcha at night.

Actually, I only drink matcha maybe twice a year.

Why?

Because long black is my priority.

If I drink matcha, I can’t drink coffee — because then I’m doubling the caffeine. What kind of math is this?!

So now, it’s coffee on my table every morning.

Pretty black coffee in my pretty cup.

My morning euphoria.

I don’t want to argue with myself anymore — with all the “why” and “what if.”

I just follow what my body wants… even though, technically, my brain is controlling it.

How messed up is that?

If I choose coffee, I won’t drink matcha.

If I choose matcha… I end up drinking dirty matcha — matcha latte with espresso.

To be honest, it tastes so damn good. Oh my God.

But my heart starts racing all day and night.

So… no more matcha. In my head.

Then one day, a TikTok video showed up.

A lady making matcha — beautiful bowl, whisk, everything aesthetic.

Her recipe included a pinch of salt and maple syrup.

The matcha powder was from a London-based brand.

In my head, I thought: that’s nice.

My hands kept scrolling… then suddenly I found a matcha bowl set.

I thought, okay, nothing serious.

Then I typed: “matcha tools set duck.”

A duck bowl set appeared.

I couldn’t believe it.

And then I started arguing with myself again — WHY and IF.

…“Add to cart.”

So how does it end?

Did I buy it?

Not yet.

Then I started searching for matcha powder.

So many options. Umami this, ceremonial that…

I’m not even a matcha drinker — how am I supposed to know?

So yes, I put my phone away.

And went back to drinking my coffee.

I’ve finished The Unworthy and it was a bit meh for me

I rated it 🌟🌟🌟/5

June book haul 📚

My bank account is crying but my bookshelf is smiling ✨🤌🏻📔 💸

Drive Your Plow Over The Bones Of The Dead - Olga Tokarezuk

The Unworthy - Agustina Tokarezuk

Doppelgänger - Naomi Klein

I Who Have Never Known Men - Jacqueline Harpmen

Martyr - Kaveh Akhbar

My first weird fiction ever !

This is one of the most disturbing, unhinged, and weird pieces of fiction I’ve ever read — and I mean that in the best way. 5/5 for the writing!

Definitely check the content warnings before diving in.

💛📔☕️

One page in and I’m already obsessed. ✋👇

Reading. Caffeinating. Recharging — that’s the plan 📔☕️

Made myself

Mushroom soup.

paired it with sourdough bread.

Sweet potato fries.

Ice Americano with salted honey cream.

I don’t just read books. I collect sentences that make me feel something. 💛☕️📔

Just finished reading The Territory of Light by Yuko Tsushima.

The struggle is so real — a mother separated from her husband, fighting to hold herself together while raising her child alone. The weight of her solitude, frustration, and quiet desperation is massive. Her unhinged rant? Deep, raw, and painfully human.

A quiet storm of a book. Hmm ice coffee ?

“I was afraid of my child; that fear, which I could still feel inside me, was all I knew. Here was I, a mother trying to take her child’s father from her. A mother who, for no good reason was pulling her child over to her own side at the father’s expense.”

“Maybe some part of me wished my daughter dead crossed my mind”

“The moment when she separated herself from me was a palpable relief”