Stuck In A Daydream

I’m sorry that I will kill myself from the inside out for you 

I’m sorry that I need you to survive

I’m sorry for the things I do to myself 

I’m sorry for being sad

I’m sorry for being sorry 

I’m sorry for letting myself get like this again

I’m sorry for relapsing

I’m sorry that I hate myself

Im sorry I’m not the person you want me to be

I’m sorry I’m not the person I should be

Unimportant and replaceable,

You see I’m used to feeling erasable,

Please dream about me

Please dream about me

I’ve always known what I felt,

I’ve always thought I’d know it when I see it,

But instead I’m filled with doubt,

I don’t know if I want you,

I don't know if you’re the one,

I’ve spent my whole life searching,

But now I don’t know if I want anyone,

The thought of being in your arms,

The thought of you holding me,

Sounds comforting in theory,

But when I’m here I don’t feel free,

I’m scared of needing someone,

Im scared of settling down,

I guess I don’t know what I want

It used to be my hell,

I used to avoid dreaming,

But then from the sky you fell,

Suddenly the clouds cleared,

The sun replaced the rain,

I’ve now come to realise,

You confuse me and amuse me,

I’ve been waiting 3 weeks to look out of this window and watch the trees turn to a blur,

I’ve been longing for the clean air and hugs from old friends that will await me and my destination,

But now I don’t want to be on this train,

I don’t feel like I’m going home,

Because you’re not there,

You look at me as I glance behind,

That sign should tell me I’m near my home,

But instead I feel like I’m on a haunted road, 

A road I don’t want to walk again,

Even though it leads to family and friends,

The place I grew up and grew my wings,

But I guess time and heartbreak changes everything,

Now I see that sign and it echos a name, 

One associated with love and lust, passion and pain,

I wish I could reclaim it but I don’t know how,

So instead I lean back in my seat and look down,

I wanted to be seen as cold blooded and mean, fearless and malicious but somehow you knew,

That I’m just an old sailing boat, loved and left, battered and bruised with patched up holes letting the water seep through,

But seeing you dance like it’s just you two in this small but crowded room,

Darlin it makes me feel so blue,

Wondering what you would say if you only knew that I’m hopelessly in love with you,

Would you say you love me too?

From this small town air that suffocates me,

Although I’ll miss the country breeze,

I’ll find out who I’m meant to be,

In the city that I’m told never sleeps,

I tried to hide my sudden distaste,

Because as nice as he was,

And whatever my friends say,

I’m happier when I’m alone,

So alone I shall stay.

I pace back and forth inside my mind,

In chatio hope that I might find,

A way in which you could be with me,

Darlin' open your eyes so you can see,

I’m still here beyond the tide,

There’s a metaphor in her ocean blue eyes,

And when you sleep with her you think of me,

Its like Tell Me Why or Dear John,

I love that woman, don't get me wrong,

But this heart of mine’s been broken for too long,

Most nights I don't know if I can go on,

I pray for the day when the rainstorm is gone,

Whilst looking out my out my window I turn the radio on,

Waiting for a delicate love I can rely upon,

But until that day comes then I just sing along,

I’m scared of the day when I long to come back.

Or even get you to share with me your time,

But just know that I think your blue eyes outshine even the brightest stars,

Your laugh sounds better than the songs they play on the radio,

And you are worth more than every space station and gold mine combined.